


As We Come Apart

by Evina1234



Series: Unintentional [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Arguments, Built up womanzier image, Depressed Harry, Disstress, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotionally Repressed, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hidden Plots, Hidden plot, Hurt/Comfort, Impatient Louis, Industry crime, Kidnapping, Language, M/M, Management problems, Might emotionally drain you, Organized Crime, Paparazzi, Past Relationship(s), Protective Liam, Protective Louis, Relationship Problems, Rough Sex, Secret Relationship, Secret contracts, Slow Build, Social Media, Tension, Three part story, Tired Harry, Unresolved past, jelousy, larry - Freeform, larry stylinson au, money focused management, past breakup, sort of dominant Louis, this is going to be a long story, violance in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2017-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:19:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 44,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5062666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evina1234/pseuds/Evina1234
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is not sure if he is ready to see Harry like this. The way his lower lip slightly quivers, makes his heart twinge. He looks younger suddenly, in his tear smudged face, fragile in a way that that someone of his fame and stature should not. But Louis remembers this boy... this same boy, when the things were much simpler. He remembers, though he should have forgotten it all. The stolen kisses, deepest feelings, flames that tickled passion excitedly in their young hearts - then the rules, fights, mistakes and arguments that came with all of it. He remembers it all. </p><p>This is not really a love story, but a story about what love does to people. Of bad and good and things in between. A story of realization that things may not be what they seem to be. <br/>Or, two years after their break up, Harry and Louis had found ways to cope - deal, remain friends after heartbreak and misery. But with things stirring under, everything is about to come apart, once again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> This is a complete AU and I just enjoy this ship regardless of it is real or not. (no offense to anyone)
> 
> Also this will be really angsty later on.  
> Please heed the warnings and if you are underage please be kind enough for your self to not to continue reading. 
> 
> Rest of you can dig in. :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A scandal and two meetings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to lovely [they_make_me_weak ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/they_make_me_weak/pseuds/they_make_me_weak)for her edits

  

                                        

 

  

**1\. Mistakes**

   
  
The fifth floor Modest meeting room is in function, meaning it is a fiasco unfolding.

Modest employees know that any meeting taking in the glass, soundproof cube means extra work and extra effort, plus utter chaos. But most of them are asleep on their beds at this hour.

  
Inside the cube, the things are almost ending. The deafening silence after a long session of arguments and one sided shouting, hints that much. Taking the opportunity, _Stacy Willinks_ , the main PR coordinator for One Direction takes her voice with a finality - attempting to lighten the situation. They really need to send the boy back soon, there is a show he needs to get ready by the morning...  
  
“There's no going back now; we need to handle this intelligently. Meaning, that we will have to use whatever the backlash to our advantage,” she says curtly. “As said, there'll be no rescheduling, or cancellations.  We will draw a media response plan accordingly for you, Harry, and rest of the boys. You all will have to follow our lead for a while until this situation calms down.” She sits back in her chair, waiting to hear the word _'dismissed'_ from her boss, but it never comes.  
  
She spares another stare at Harry, who sits fiddling with the silver ring on his finger, refusing to look up. His tired face has worry written all over it, and his narrowed eyes does little to hide his distress. Hair still tied up with one of his signature scarfs, Harry is still in his stage clothes from the show a few hours earlier. He must be knackered. It is bad enough that this had to blow up at this time out of all the times of the year.  
  
It is a busy time for the whole One Direction team.

The boys had just finished a show an hour or two before and has another tomorrow night. It will be the last gig of the European tour and they had rehearsals in the morning . They will be headed to Australia for another set of shows the same night after a press conference about closing the European leg. Schedules were already tight, and everyone was tied up with late working hours. A chaos of a huge tabloid outbreak is the last thing they any of them needed.

So when some very graphic images, and a compromising video of Harry with a new model girl online got leaked out of nowhere to the net in the evening, it was like sky falling over.

Tired or not- Harry had been called in for an urgent meeting with Modest, following the chaos. He had been clueless until he stepped into the office, and the other four might not have any idea either, unless they checked social media, which Stacy knew to be highly unlikely. But all the media sites were nearly blowing up at this moment as expected. The Direction boys have always had to live up to their clean images due to the strong influence they brought upon their younger fans, there was no getting away from it no matter what they did. It's just the way it is.

  
Looking at the stressed, hunched over form in front of her, Stacy feels sorry for Styles in a way. He's juicy news to the media world, constantly judged and foul-talked despite the fact he rarely reacted to them. Media simply has it for him because of his ever growing popularity, and anything that gets his name on the title guaranteed more hits - no matter good or bad. And it's something their brand earned through him. But that said, a sex scandal is the last thing they wanted right now. For once, Stacy wonders why this had to fall on this boy of all people; there are enough brats who plays hell in the industry, and Styles is a one reaching the silent side, stepping away from his countless party and booze nights.

Even out of these five boys, Stacy does favour him, she has to admit. But then no one could work with him and not fall to care for him. The funny, polite, northern boy with such charisma. You don't get that naturally very often. Even minus the charisma, Styles was never a quarrelsome, unlike Tomlinson or Malik who seem toÂ twirl and crash on to people almost all the time. He charm usually works with the over sexualized, heart breaker image the media paints on him. But in real life, Styles is a _nice guy_ with bit of a cheekÂ  with a clumsiness that could only be endeared by his gangly build. When it comes to the Management, he is the most battered out of the five because he is the band's unofficial public representative, probably the worst job in an industry like this... to take whatever is thrown at him.

Her line of thoughts get cut short as Robert Swig, her boss and the head of PR, roughly turns the pages of a one of the tabloids scattered across the table. She stares at the way he seem to almost crush them in his frustration; still looking furious. He had lost his temper for almost an hour, rendering Harry speechless in the end. 

 

“This is bloody going to cost double the efforts to shut down," Robert mumbles, repeating the same words under his breath. He runs his hand through his hairless head, "-on top of the promotions.”  He shuts the magazine loudly, looking at Styles with a glare. Of course Stacy knows it won't be easy this time. Robert has claimed that he is sure that several religious organizations and child protection camps are going to give them hell. Their team has alerted them on increasing backlash already.

Finally looking up at Robert again, Harry runs his hand through his unruly hair wearily. He sighs then, 

“Look, I know I messed up... big time, but it's a mistake and I'm sorry.” he says with his usual calm and slurred voice. He takes in a deep breath then, “I will face the media and apologize publicly for-”

"You bloody well will!” Robert yells as he clutches the table edge. “You’re going to have to work to clean up this if it's the last thing you and your womanizing ass do for this company. First it was the Larry bullshit with Tomlinson, then it was the fag rumors, and now this shit! You are jeopardizing the entire band, and label with your dumb stunts and stupidity!” Robert shouts, his face twitching.

Stiff in her seat, Stacy tries to take in deep breaths to calm herself down as Robert snaps again, his voice louder than it had been throughout the last half an hour. Harry just stares at Robert, without any words as the PR head gets up, leaning towards the boy over the table with his palms flat on scattered magazines on the top.

“Control your bloody hormones or we will have to draw some lines, like the time you started gallivanting with Tomlinson. Can you get that through your thick skull, Styles?” Robert pounds his fists on the table with a thud, making the glass surface  shake. “Get the fuck to the hotel and sleep, so we can clean the mess. You have a show tomorrow.” Robert grabs a few tabloid covers on the table and throws them across the floor in front of Harry whose face is red and glaring.

Stacy sighs. So much for her attempt at a professional dismissal.

Harry, without a word, collects his slumped form from the chair and walks out of the glass cube, stepping on the magazine pages of him in a steamy embrace with a half dressed woman in a hotel room. He does not look at Paul, their Head of security, who looks at him with concern, while passing him at the door.

In any other day, Harry would have reacted to being told off so harshly, but today he is too drained, ashamed, and tired. He is too tired even to spare a last glance at the two furious faces who had sat in front of him for the last one and a half hours, shouting at him. And he does not have the courage to look at the few sympathy filled faces he passes on his way out of the god forsaken building of Modest either.

He just feels exhausted.

After trying to explain fruitlessly to the management heads that he was unaware of any cameras or that it might have been a setup, he had just let them shout at him, much like all the other scandals he has faced from the dawn of their fame as a band.

In the beginning, he used to argue and put up fights, but the mention of that one name always shuts him up and put him off his fire. The one name which always makes him cringe whenever it's used in the context. The name the Modest heads throw at him every time they want to shut him down.

_Louis._

His feathery haired, blue eyed, fellow band mate who probably had no clue about any of it, tucked safely in his girl’s arms. The boy who he had been head over heels with in the beginning of their careers, the ultimate black mark of the band if it ever got out... according to the management heads of Modest.

 _Louis Tomlinson,_ the one person he gave up in payment for their numerous achievements on the ladder of fame, and success. Do they throw Harry’s name at Louis too when they wanted to shut him up? Does Louis cringe like Harry does - when they do, if they do? Harry had always wondered. He's not sure if they did... _It's just his own ego probably, wanting a reaction from the boy he once upon a time fell in love with._

After the break up, he and Louis had tried to build up a work relationship as best as they could, passing the rocky stage of betrayal, blame and justifications. They have tried for the sake of everyone - including themselves; still being a part of the band, learning to repress their demons, and flaming memories. And after almost two years, they have won for the most part, to the point where they could now joke around without falling in to thought-heavy, awkward silences afterwards.Those awkward feelings only surfaced nowadays with a prodding like this. Whenever the fans mentioned the so called _Larry Stylinson_ , it only brought a smile and a slight twinge in him in front of the big picture of their future and brand.

They did mess with his thoughts afterwards sometimes, though, when he was alone, but what would you do with feelings that were never meant to be?

 _Don't think._ He urged himself running a hand through his mess of  hair as he finally exits the building to the cold night air..

 

Roger, his personal driver and bodyguard looks at his tiresome face as he opens the car door for him. “Alright, bud?”

"Yeah.” Harry doesn't look at him or smile at him as usual but gets in, patting him on the back. He reaches for his phone left in the car.

Following behind, Paul  carefully closes the door- shaking his head with a sigh to Roger. One and a half hours spent face to face, first with Griffiths & Magee, and then with Robert & Stacy with a scandal hanging from back, no one could blame Harry for not being his usual self today . Simon has yet to call him, meaning he’s in for a rough night. Paul feels worried for him. Seeing Harry’s form inside the vehicle - with eyes glued to his phone screen, he hopes Harry will stay off of Twitter and the Internet where social media and celebrity sites were ripping him apart.

“Jimmy will fill in for you tomorrow. You can get your day off,” Paul says to Roger who climbs into the driving seat.

“The new one Brad got to assist him? You sure?”

“Yep, he's alright. Brad's keeping an eye on him.”

“I’m sorry for the bad timing, man. Wish I could postpone until this thing blows off but -”

“Don’t worry about it. I got it covered” Paul says crossing his arm on his buff chest.

“Thanks man. Appreciate it.”

“See you in Australia.”

Roger nods, “See you, man.”

Paul gives him a wave as the car enters to the drive away. He watches until it disappear around the corner, thinking how this whole thing was going to bounce on their tightly planned agendas.

After tomorrow’s show, the boys are to head for a media conference and afterwards they’ll be flying to Australia to continue to a set of gigs. The last thing they needed in this busy time was a scandal and damage control plans. But the damage was done, and now the management will have to focus on this on top of everything. Paul sighs again walking back in - He worries about the whole chaos and wonders if this would push Harry off the edge altogether at this rate.

 

 

In the car, Harry does not go through any celebrity sites, but of course he knows the catch. He’s had too much experience. So instead he checks his phone. He has fifteen missed calls and eight messages from Liam, Xender, Niall, Jeff and Gemma. Most calls were from Xender and Jeff. He wonders if they already knew of it. Looking at Xender's name, he considers if he should call him. Explain it to him that this was months back.

Should he? Maybe not... not now, at least. 

Instead, he goes to messages and clicks on Niall’s last message, because it is the most recent:

_Where r u? Drumsticks are done!! Get your ass in already._

Harry resists his automatic smile, biting his lip. Niall and Nando's. He sighs deep with a guilt-filled relief. So the boys doesn't know yet that he had screwed up.

He drops the phone to the seat again and rests his throbbing head on the window. He presses it against the cool glass, furious with his own self. How could he have been this stupid?

He met Paige in a Fashion show and they had become close over time. It had been just a simple fling that ended shortly after. He had trusted her enough to go to her hotel that day, but it seemed she and her friends had other ideas to mock him in public. Are they laughing at him now for being that easy? Part of him wanted to dial Paige and run his mouth, but he felt too drained after listening to hours of blame and words of disappointment.

_The media is going to crucify him, aren’t they?_

What is his Mom going to say? And Gemma? Of course Jeff knows how it is - and Xender might understand... But what will he say to the boys for being this careless? On top of their world tour and newly released video, the eyes of the public will be on this mess, not the tour, nor the album nor music. He could almost feel the disappointment in their faces.

 _And Louis_. Harry does not want to face him at this moment, not after being scorned upon with it all.

" _Gallivanting with Tomlinson_ -" Robert's voice echoes in his head like an aftershock to a quake. 

He sighs deep, yearning nothing but sleep to make everything go away: memories and haunting images of things that he once held so dear to his heart; things he messed up; things he walked away from. 

Modest uses him like some flack machine until things backfires, like they have now, and blame him for playing the part what they pushed him to play in the first place... being the flirty available one. Now it all made him wonder if he is becoming _'The Harry styles'_ the media was claiming him to be.

_Is he?_

Is he the famous Harry _who fails to keep it in his pants_ Styles the media claims him to be? The sugar pop price of the era who would make headlines just for being flirtatious and needy? Not for anything else like his music career or their songs five of them are desperately trying to bring attention to.

He bites his lip to control the pricking sensation in his eyes but does not dare to move his hands to rub them. He still had to  face the four boys who must be having a blast before their final show tonight.

He didn’t want to ruin their mood, especially not for some stupid thing he had done, yet he’s knew that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

 

 

....................................................................................................................

 

 

 

 

A few blocks away in the Modest! head office, three men sat around a worn old wooden table which had been written and scraped over. Empty beer cans were thrown around the table, discarded, the men looking at some sort of a blue print.

Clad in all black, one of the men was heavily built, with a vibe of someone who might have spent too much time in the gym to be assigned to a job which did not require physical strength. The other two seemed to be in their mid-thirties, one in a finely tailored trench coat with thick, black framed glasses, while the other, who had a pale, death-like complexion, was dressed in a contrasting black leather jacket.

With a hiss of a breath, the one in the leather jacket straightens in his seat and eyes the overly built man in front of him.

“So once Styles gets off the stage from here, you would wait at this spot and lead him towards the 4th exit before the rest comes off?” he asks. His eyes were a cold blue which might be able to cut through glass.

Jimmy nods silently. He hates the sense of superiority the leather jacketed one possesses in his face. There was something off about the man that does not wear off no matter how long you have known him.   _He must be a black-haired albino_ , Jimmy thought rubbing at his nose. Do black-haired albinos exist?

“What if Styles comes off last, Jimmy?” the guy in the trench coat asks, cutting of his floating range of thoughts. The man pursed his thin lips not looking very convinced. “What if-”

“I will handle it OK, Eric?” Jimmy says in an irritated voice. “If they flock, we will knock the others off. They are some overrated teenagers without a clue. You want Styles... and I will give you Styles. End of story. I didn't waste my time joining this army to guard their pretty asses.” He fanned his meaty arms in front of the other two's faces, “You give me and Brad our cut, we deliver the goods.”

The man in the leather jacket eyed him calculatingly. “Don't worry, Eric. I got him for a reason. What Jimmy says, Jimmy does. And I'll be there, so there will be no mistakes,” he says, not moving, eyes glued on Jimmy, looking almost like an emotionless ghost.

 _What a creep_ , Jimmy thinks.

“Fine then. No mistakes.”  Eric bends down to the side of his chair and picks up a leather case. He then drops it on the table with a thud.

“Count if you may,” he says pushing the case to the masculine man in front of him.

Jimmy caught the case and tapped on it. “No need. I expect the rest on delivery,” he says getting up. “Until tomorrow then. I'm on duty early.”

The Leather Jacket smirks as Jimmy  collects the blueprint of the stadium and the stage setting.

“You mean babysitting?” Leather Jacket asks, licking his dark lips. Sarcasm and impatience  reeked out either side of his too feminine mouth. He almost reminds Jimmy of some blood crazed Vampire - minus the teeth of course.

“Yes, something like that, Nicky,” he prods him to say, walking out of the room with a roll of paper.

No matter how long he had worked with him, Jimmy could never be comfortable with Nick’s weird features. Though it was Nick who had gotten Jimmy to this, opened the door to this amount of money- which he was utterly grateful for, of course, there was something about Nick he never was comfortable with, something vile and disturbing. It was as if he was more than enjoying their not so mild line of work, feasting on it rather than just taking his cut out of the projects. It was as if he was living off the mere involvement of it.

Jimmy exhaled deep as he stepped down the stairs. Nick will soon fall out of his problems, at least within couple of days, he thought.

Everything was set and ready to go now. People, vehicle, guns and the rest of it.

If everything falls into place, he would be on a plane with Brad, his partner, to Russia with a couple million dollars in his hand by the end of this week. And he would turn to news channels and follow up the trails of finding the pop star in the coming days. Jimmy smiled to himself and wondered what these maniacs were planning to do to the curly haired lad. Actually, on second thought, he didn’t want to know.

Because as far as he knew this was not about a ransom.

 


	2. The Mess You Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry joins the rest of the boys, and with the light of recent events, Liam thinks Harry needs someone to lean on. But both he and Louis are not prepared for how far Harry needs to lean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, This is a re-edit. And this is a complete AU. I'm not worried if Larry is true or not (if it is... good for them and if not, they are free to live their lives) I just enjoy this ship... reading and writing about it. Not to offend anyone :)
> 
> Thanks to lovely [they_make_me_weak ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/they_make_me_weak/pseuds/they_make_me_weak)for her edits.

 

                                

 

 

**2\.  The Mess You Made**

 

 

“ _Arrrrgh_ ” Zayn runs his hand over his stomach and groans. “I'm full,” he moans as he slumps back and takes another sip of his coke.

Niall lets out a laugh, grabbing another piece of chicken out of the box. Harry better get here soon or they'll have to order again.

The small roof top of the stadium was ringing with whimsical sounds. Liam is beat boxing to the funny tune Louis was playing on Niall's guitar, bumping his head like a maniac. making his feathery hair move with him. They were so loud that if they were in a hotel they would have clearly been told off by the hotel staff. So they were glad that they were on the narrow roof top of the stadium quarters with stale lights and endless food.

This is a typical day before a gig, too much of food minus alcohol and a lot of energy to waste until they are sleepy.

“Come on babe, we are rocking!” Louis shouts, holding the guitar above his head still trying to play an off key tune and still bumping around.

“Hey! Stop molesting my guitar!"

"Big words, Irish. Mole-est-ing." Louis sings.

"Stop abusing my guitar. Simple enough now? I swear to god, Tommo if you break any strings I'm gonna fart on your face!' Niall cries out.

Zayn lets out a high pitched laugh.

Louis makes an O! face and takes the guitar down off his head, still playing while Liam continued to beat box.

“I'm sleepy. And I'm full,” Zayn says again, yawning and rocking his chair back as Niall throws another scrap of a bone into the waste bag. Zayn drops his head to the table. “I think I'm high on chicken,” he groans into the table.

“Want another piece?” Niall asks, helping himself to another.

“Stop eating man. You've got two buckets of inside you already,”' Zayn calls out, not bothering to move an inch.

Niall throws the last bit inside his mouth and  smirks, going for another.

 

The door to the rooftop opens behind Niall and Louis and Liam watches as Roger holds it back for Harry to get in.

“Harold! You’re early, lad,” Louis calls out, still playing his off key tune “help yourself to Niallers' leftovers. Hey, Ro'.”

Harry doesn't react - nor he looks at Louis, almost ignoring him. He just gazes upon the table where Zayn was laying his head without movement.

“Hey guys. Managed to get Nando's closed for the day?” Roger smiles watching the gang - rest of the crew must have gone to bed already. These five always stayed up in gig nights, waking up a bit late ready for the show, he knew.

“Don't know what you mean, man. Last I saw, Nialler's got it funded by the house of lords,” Liam says pausing his beat midway.

Shaking his head slightly with a smile, Roger lightly sweeps his hand on Harry's the shoulder,

“I'm off then.” he says to him.

Harry repeats the gesture methodically without meeting his eyes. “See you tomorrow,” he mumbles.

Roger squeezes Harry's shoulder somewhat comfortingly. “I'm off ‘till Sunday, so I'll be seeing you next in Aussi. I'll be flying there directly.”

“Oh.” Harry looks at him, confusion in his eyes.

“Jimmy's covering for me. He’s the new guy.”

“Oh, ok. See you then I guess.” Harry pats Roger’s back again with a small smile which doesn't reach his eyes. Roger just nods at him, pursing his lips. Not the ideal time to leave Harry, he knew, but how could he change all the plans now, with his own family waiting him to join his sister's wedding. He was glad that Jimmy was there to take over. The guy  knew his stuff, and he’s sure that Harry and Jimmy will bond soon, as Harry always does with all the people working on the team.

“See you guys.” He waves to Louis and Liam who had now ended their duo gig to come join the table again. Roger gives one last glance to Harry as he shuts the door, stepping off of the breeze filled balcony.

 

Louis and Liam sit down beside Niall who scowls as Liam grabs the chicken drumstick he was holding. Looking ahead, Louis notices that Harry is still wearing the same clothes he wore on the stage hours ago, whereas all the others had freshened up and relaxed while Harry had disappeared with his driver after a call. He seemed tired.

Zayn looks up as Harry sits beside him, running his palm up and down the boy’s back. After their eyes meet, Zayn lowers his head back to the table with a groan.

“What's wrong with him?” Harry asks as he drops his phone next to him and reaches for the food.

“Too much food. He's stoned,” says Louis.

“Arrrrgh.” Zayn straightens up, holding his stomach again. “Where the hell have you been? It's past twelve, bro.”

Harry runs his free hand through his hair and pulled off his bandana to drop it on the table.

“I -err... I was at Mod-”

Harry's answer is cut by his phone raving. Zayn looks at the screen to see Simon's name flashing on the screen.

How very strange. The last time he heard anything from the man, he was on a vacation with his pregnant wife. As rarely as Simon took time off work, he never talked business when he was away. And mentor or not, it's unlikely Simon would call to small talk at this hour, even with Harry. 

Looking at the phone for a moment, Harry hesitates, but then picks it up anyway, getting up and walking away from the table while hitting answer. His voice strained and low as he blurts a, slurred, “Hello?” to the phone.

They all look at him as he walks with slumped shoulders to the furthest edge of the balcony, and leans off of the short wall, facing his back to them, probably not want them to overhear.

“Trouble?” Liam asks without taking his eyes off Harry's form.

“Seems so,” Louis sighs with his eyes fixed on Harry as well. Zayn takes his phone and goes on twitter. He thought he saw something about an hour ago, but he did not pay much attention to it. The page finally loads and he finds himself staring at some very aggressive tweets with Harry tagged to them. He decides to just give up at looking through tweets and Googles _Harry Styles._

 

“Fucking hell!”

 

All three boys look at Zayn who looks up from his phone with shock and worry.

“Bad?” Liam asks as Zayn slides the phone towards him, and looks back at Harry who was still leaning on the balcony with his back to them. Liam stares at the small picture and video thumbnails, which are all over Google.

 

The headlines flashing are not any better:

**_One Direction Womanizer Styles drives X-Rated to another level._ **

**_Biggest scandal of the teen fandom yet; Harry Styles ruins the band image taking on to be a porn star._ **

**_Shame on you Styles!_ **

**_Sex addiction is a disease; would Styles ever be cured? What a shame!_ **

 

Liam stares at Zayn and wipes his face. Niall lets out an impatient sigh while Louis keeps staring at the screen. Harry had always been the target of the media but they never had this much of a mess in all these years. And amid their tour and new album this is not going to be good. In fact this was a wrongly timed disaster. Whoever put this out was really planning  damage.

 

“Louis no!” Zayn whisper-cries suddenly as Louis grabs the phone and hits play on the muted video.

 

 

.....................................................................................................

 

 

 

 

“This is _not_ acceptable, no matter how it happened. I'm absolutely disgusted. Absolutely shameful! You've spent four years in this industry, Harry, and you should know the rules by now. Your millions or popularity or stardom does NOT bloody mean that you can become some playboy brat! It doesn't mean you are invincible. This is irresponsible! and shameful!”

Simon's clear, furious voice rings through the phone as Harry hold on to it as tight as he could, leaning towards the city lights from the fourth floor of the building. The stinging disappointment in Simon’s voice is making him gasp for air.

“You have single handedly blown the whole PR plan when it was meant to be a milestone for the whole team. Not to mention that this is a disgrace to your family and the band. This is a low, Harry. Too low. Unacceptable from someone who has been in this for years! You are hardly an amateur! This is irresponsible, unprofessional and unacceptable! Do you at least understand?”

Harry bites his upper lip unable to overcome the guilt and shame that drips down as their boss and mentor whips him with his words. Listening to Simon's disappointed voice is harder to bear than being shouted at by Magee, or having tabloid covers thrown at his face by Robert in the Modest Office.

“Do you understand?” Simon repeats .

Harry takes a breath in as he mumbles a low, “Yes.”

“I don't care if you choose to let yourself be shagged left, right, and center by wannabe clowns. And I certainly don't care if you choose to slut your brains out! But letting it be filmed? recorded? that's bloody unacceptable! and foolish! You need to fucking remember your every move is in the limelight, because you are not a kid in this. And ready yourself to answer to the media flack because you had sowed man whore all over your face! I have no more to say to you.”

The line goes off, making him feel as if he was hanging upside down from one of his feet, dangling in the air, off the edge of the balcony.

Harry just stares at nothing, resting his arms on the rough wall of the balcony. His skin prickles, but he ignores it. He breathes forcefully to calm himself, but his nose is running and his face is heating up. Every cutting word, glare, and tone of disappointment and anger since he stepped in to Modest! office seem to hit him like stones, aiming for the weakest and vulnerable parts of him. It is not the first time he had been called a man-whore or shameful... but never ever had he been called that by anyone he personally knew. Hearing it from their own mentor seem to scatter the glass hold he has on himself to pieces.

A one could wonder why everyone thought his non-committed relationships to be a subject of controversy when the world had enough problems to deal with. In the beginning, Modest encouraged the media to create a womanizer image of him to shut the gay rumors down, but now it has become too much for everyone to bear, including him. The Paparazzi, media, and gossip magazines chased him as if he was some animal to be hunted, judging his every move and attaching him with every woman he barely looked at. His flings with guys which were conveniently covered by their inner circle, while the media easily took off with his attention for women. It was easy to hook up with high profile women who fell for him and  his stature - spending time with different friend circles, setting him up to be an easy target for the media, as the Management first requested.

Wasn't this what they all wanted him to play? what they all wanted him to be? away from gay rumors, away from being anything other than straight - away from...

He wanted to curl up and scream until his voice broke; wanted to crouch down and hold his stomach until it felt easier to breathe. But he knows that he is on the balcony with other four boys' eyes on his back-  hell, Louis' eyes on his back...  and it made him almost want to run away from there.

What wouldn’t he give at this moment to feel numb, yet instead he was losing his grip. One direction had claimed the music world with their every act starting with records, top charts, sold out gigs to awards, but amid the success, Harry could not help feeling that he is losing himself to the fame and stardom he had signed himself in to.

He could not even stick to the sham he has forced himself to live in without messing up. Harry felt as if he was falling down into a bottomless pit with no one to catch him and no one to care for him.

 _He was just a good flack toy until he tripped his  fucking leg_...

 

 

 

There seem to be a deafening silence in the air which Liam felt to be the complete opposite to what it was before Harry came. They all sat lost in thoughts and loss for words for the mess their band-mate had made.

Niall sat motionless with his eyes closed. He was resting his chin on his fisted hands while Zayn kept his worried gaze fixed on the outline of the figure leaning to the balcony. Liam looks at Louis who still had his eyes fixed at the phone screen. Screen light lit his face, revealing a seriousness that you rarely see in his usual expressions.

Harry and Louis' bond was something all the boys had agreed to put to rest. Their adoring time together was a mist that had blown away and it was a book _they_ had chosen to close with it’s pages unread. The rest of them had learned to ignore their strained moments, which happened rarely with time. With Harry letting himself be fished by women who adored him and occasional men, when he is feeling rebellious enough, Louis had leaned on Eleanor who was first his assigned girlfriend by Modest! Both Harry and Louis had become good at pretending nothing happened between them to such an extent that left the rest of them to wondering at times if they are actually over it.

But in moments like these, Liam knew in his mind that even though Louis tried to hide, he worried, or to put lightly, _cared enough,_ to fail to cover his concern for Harry. Whether it is because he was genuinely worried about Hazza's situation, or whether it's that he is reeling by seeing the blasted video and photos, Liam did not know.

Liam had just taken a slight peek of it and decided to look away. It had been too much to take, too graphic, that Liam chose not to shatter Harry's privacy anymore. No thank you.

 

Looking at Harry again, Liam notices that he was done with his phone call, but without coming back, Harry lingers there, leaning off of the balcony, seemingly defeated. They all wait, not daring to initiate moves and thinking maybe Harry needed time to face them on his own, but at the end, Liam gets up with a sigh and starts towards Harry. He hates seeing any of the boys like this. Not if he could help it. 

Harry probably doesn't notice him as he reaches him. He just stares into nothing as if he was in deep thought... face is red and strained. Liam slowly pats Harry on the back, and Harry slightly flinches. 

Liam sighs. Well, this not the first time Harry had got cornered with a media scandal, not that Harry particularly enjoyed times like this, but with time he had learned to cope with it just as every other con that came with their insane lives and the fame. But today, for some reason, he looks slightly more affected...

Running his hand softly on Harry's back, Liam eyes him as warmly as he could.

“Come on, Haz,” Liam mumbles pulling the lean boy up to him. “We'll sort this out.”

Harry says nothing, nor he protests as Liam starts leading him toward the table. Liam sits him next to him and starts piling bits and pieces of food onto a disposable plate and places it in front of him like a mother hen.

“Eat. You must be starving,” says Liam, looking at Harry directly for the first time. Slumped shoulders and bent head. This is not good, not good at all.

Harry is starving of course, to the point where he was actually famished. But as he picks a piece of chicken he feels pukish, maybe he's too starved to eat.

“You OK?” Liam asked. Harry could feel his and Zayn's eyes on him.

“Fine,” he mumbles with a sigh, meddling with the piece of chicken in his hand without eating it.

“Harry, we can-,” Liam tries to start again.

“I’m just a fucking man-whore, Liam. I’m fine.” Harry drops the chicken and runs his other hand through his hair gripping his strands.

“Jesus,” Niall says shaking his head from where he is. “I told you to watch it with that bitch.”

“Niall, keep it down,”  says Liam wanting to shut the overemotional Irish boy.

“He’s fucking screwed the whole tour and you want _me_ to keep it down? He's gonna be cooked into a soup at the press thing tomorrow!”

“Shut up!” both Zayn and Louis said at the same time and Louis stared almost firing daggers at the Irish boy.

Niall throws his hands up and then rests them on the table, leaning back soundly. He looks angry.

There was a gap of silence in which they all tried to calm themselves down.

 

Silent, Harry straightens himself again and tries to dig into the food with zero appetite. A panic was building in him and he needed a distraction. His face was heating up again and a heaviness building in his throat. He wants to keep it in but he was failing utterly. It was as if someone was choking him with bare hands. He drops the food for the second time and buries his face in his clean hand as tears starts streaming down his cheeks.

 _N_ o. He won't do this in front of them. _He won't_ . He wiped the tears off forcefully and started breathing to gain control. _He needs to get into the shower. It always works, always._

 

The boys keeps their eyes on him from afar, not daring to touch or comfort him because they know at this moment it was the last thing Harry would want. After several minutes Harry straightens himself and sighs heavily. His face still red and heavy, the others know he is barely in control.

“I just want to sleep it off. I can't eat. I'll just go and sleep,” Harry says not looking at any faces.

“I think it's time for all of us to sleep. Schedule starts early tomorrow,” says Liam, reassuringly, as Zayn nods, getting up.

“I'll call for clean up from the room,” adds Zayn, more to Liam than the other boys.

They know Harry doesn't want an audience and all of them believed Liam to be the best to say what is right in these kind of situations. Niall also gets up, joining Zayn. Liam notices the Irish boy’s eyes are slightly moist. Harry and Niall were the pals in mischief. They always hung around lately and Harry had become close with Niall the most. But when it comes to emotions, Niall just did not know how to handle it. Liam was sure Niall was feeling wrecked to see Harry in this situation, and that he did not know what to do or say. Zayn puts his arm around the blond boy’s shoulder as they disappear from the balcony, leaving Liam and Louis to take Harry to his room.

 

Harry had not gotten up yet, staring down at the table with his hands pressed to his forehead - he seems to be in thought.

Liam and Louis exchanges gazes and Liam reaches the slump form of Harry;

“Come on buddy.” Liam says dragging him up. Harry doesn’t protest - lets him be maneuvered  off the balcony to the passageway with Louis following behind them. It seemed Zayn and Niall had already gone to the rooms because the corridors were deserted, minus the very few security guys they passed.

 

Liam has his arm around Harry's shoulder and he rubbed it from time to time in a comforting gesture. Louis could only watch.

He did not know what to feel honestly, seeing that video of Harry like that. Should he be mad? Sorry? Worried? Jealous? He bites his lip, definitely can't be jealous. That'll be absurd. He sighs internally. The media's going to have a carnival with this. A fucking carnival.

Why and how the hell had the security teams missed this? How could they let Harry go out and about like this- and let it be recorded? Fucking idiots.

He is mad alright, skin crawling, hair tearing mad. He could practically smash someone in the head. He sighs again, not so quietly.

Harry had been gone for almost three hours after the rehearsals and by the looks of it, he had been to Modest office. Louis could see the drained look in his eyes, though he had his back to him now. Had they pounced on him like hungry hyenas? This is clearly not the first time Harry had been scorned and targeted by the media, though he had to admit that they had never had their hands on this much footage before. But Harry looks way too affected, maybe sad and completely drained. And after Simon's call, he looked as if was practically bleeding…

Louis looks at Harry's slouched form, and the way Liam is leading him steadily like the big brother he is. Liam has always been good with Harry when stuff like this fall over. Still staring, Louis wishes if he could be as Liam with Harry, be able to be there for him in times like this, but he knows that it is impossible. Deep down he hated seeing Harry like this, which he had not in a long time.

Harry had seemed busier lately, dividing his time between his family and his new home in LA. Not that he did not see him regularly at the studios and gigs, but Harry is always away in his free time recently. And of course, he had looked happier lately, but seeing him like this made Louis uneasy, slightly guilty for different reasons. It reminded him of a time he dare not think about; would not think about. Harry almost broke down few minutes back on the rooftop and he needed someone right now. Someone who he had been close enough for him to open up to. Louis knew that there were only two people Harry opened up to like that two years back. Him and Gemma. But things have changed now. Harry is surely still close to Gemma, plus maybe his LA pal Jeff, son of the famous Irving Azoff and his girlfriend whom he seemed to hang out with even more than his useless London crowd lately. But right now all of them were miles away.

 

The three of them enter the final long passage where their individual rooms were. Harry's room is few blocks ahead of all the others' rooms, separated by a some unoccupied quarters.  Did Harry choose this room because he wanted to sneak girls in without the other boys knowing? Louis tries to chase away the thought.

Reaching the room, Liam rounds Harry, facing him gently and putting both his hands on Harry's broad shoulders. Harry's face looked terrible, Liam notices. Eyes red and stale. His skin looked pinched and there were strained lines in his forehead. Liam just stares at him for a second with concern until Harry looks up.

“You ok?”

“Yeah,” Harry mumbles looking at Liam's warm brown eyes. He steps back then, letting Liam's squeezing hands fall off of him. He wraps his arms around his own body looking down, hugging himself for a moment and turns clumsily to the door. _“_ I'll be fine.”

Louis watches silently as Harry unlocks his room after a few failed attempts. Liam stands patiently, staring at him from behind until Harry pushes the door open. He staggers in silently but then turns and gazes back at Louis for the briefest moment, meeting the concerned blue eyes before walking in leaving the door askew.

 

Louis would give anything to follow Harry into the room. Ask him what's wrong...

 He wanted to ask him if he is worried about the media lashing, or the public response... that it will be ok, that that they all will be with him for whatever it is...  and that everyone is allowed to make mistakes once in awhile. Louis bites his lip and sighs quietly. He wanted to tell him that whatever it is, it'll pass. He wanted to but-

“Go on,“ says Liam and Louis’ head snaps at his direction. Liam's warm eyes looks back at Louis with a touch of sympathy.

“Go on. I'll wait.”

Louis hesitates, looking at Liam, but after a moment he starts towards the door, rubbing his nose nervously.

 

Dropping his phone aside, Liam sits down on the carpeted floor cross legged. He rests his chin on his fists and waits, his eyes closed. He knows that this is the only thing he could do for Harry at the moment.  

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope I did not bore you with this. please read and comment. Love!!!


	3. Things I can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment, a love, a feeling and a spark. A cry and a kiss... and dreams that can't last. Our rights and our wrongs, a moment to pass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is a repost.

 

**3\. Things I can**

 

_"Sweet little words made for silence - Not talk_

_Young heart for love - Not heartache_

_Dark hair for catching the wind - Not to veil the sight of a cold world_

_Kiss while your lips are still red -While he's still silent"_

\- (While your lips are still red by nightwish)

 

 

 

Louis pushes open the door not knowing what to expect.

Harry is simply there, his tall body slouched against the wall - as if he already knew Louis was going to come. Walking in, Louis slowly leans back against the door; closing it as soundlessly as he could.

The trademark black jeans and the thin white shirt were the same Harry wore to the show this afternoon - and now without the bandana, his hair is loose and a bit tousled; making him appear younger than he usually looks with his hair pulled up. Tired green eyes looked at Louis with a slight reluctance before turning down. He started dragging his booted foot slowly on the floor.

Louis could just watch him from there…

All the jokes and sassy lines apart, they haven't been close with each other for a long time. Hell, they haven't been in a room alone with just each other for a long long time. Finding a common ground to work together had been hard enough without being at each other's throats, but now, it seemed that they have gone through with all that.

Of course there are still speculations, opinions among their fans and the industry as of why the two of them never interacted as much as they used to. Some thought they were hiding their relationship, some thought they hated each other, many thought they have fallen apart due to gay rumors to which they reacted in completely different manners. But in truth, it had been their own way of coping; coping with the memories, broken dreams, hollow promises, and everything that got broken between them.

But beyond and before everything, all these things apart, they have sworn to each other in the past that they'll be there for one another, stand by each other no matter what. And Louis knew this is one of those time that Harry would appreciate not being by himself… least he could do is to be there for him, true to his word.

“If you are here to shout, you can save it. I had plenty for the da-y,”  says Harry, eyes still on the floor, his slurred voice almost cracks in the end.

Louis shakes his head.

“No. No,” he mumbles stepping closer.

Harry looks up at him then, almost as if he did not want to. His eyes intense in a way which Louis was a bit too familiar. And no... he never thought he'll be stared at in this very manner again by these same eyes. He never thought he'll see these green eyes like this, in a dim light - alone and away from the rest of the world. _Is this a bad idea?_ Louis suddenly feels hesitant, no matter how changed rest of Harry's the face looked, those clear greens with a darker shade in the edge around the iris sweeps in a familiar feeling after all this time...  Louis looks down for a moment trying to shake away his racing mind. His insides twinges...

 _What is he doing??_ _What the hell is he doing?_

No, this is not about you, Louis. This is about Harry, Harry who had been sad and exposed moments ago. He needed someone, and that's why he, Louis was here.

Taking a breath Louis looks up at Harry again.

Hands clasped behind his back and still slouched against the wall, Harry’s eyes were watching Louis, hurtfully. Louis' heart sinks as he notices tears welling up in the green depths, his head beginning to freeze for some reason. He steps in front of him, not sure what his own self is doing. He felt too conscious about his own hands. Harry's face is close, and his perfect features lined with sadness just stares at him.

“Harry…”

Without a thought Louis tries to touch his face, to which Harry squirms, turning his face to the side with a tightened jaw. Tears spill without hesitation, and Harry does not make any effort to hide them.

_What's going on?_

“What’s wrong?” Louis asks gently but nervously, taking his hand back and rubbing his knuckles. He wants to take him in and hug him like he used too, though he had grown taller and more muscular over the last two years. But he does not. He could not. All he could hear is the heavy breaths Harry takes in and out. He did not need to be more closer to the taller boy to remember the warmth radiating from his breaths.

“Harry, what’s wrong?” he repeats, eyes still watching the  tearing face.

Harry wipes his eyes and nose this time, pushing away stray strands of hairs from his face.

“I don’t know.”

Harry's deep and heavy voice slurs as he slides down the wall to the floor, “I don’t know”

Louis slowly lowers himself down in front of him, not sure if he was ready to see Harry like this. Harry's lip slightly quivers. He looks younger suddenly in his curled up form and tear stained face. Fragile in a way that someone in his fame and stature should not be. But Louis remembers this boy- But Louis remembers this boy... this same boy, when the things were much simpler. He remembers, though he should have forgotten it all. The stolen kisses, deepest feelings, flames that tickled in their young hearts - and the rules, fights, mistakes and arguments that came with all of it. He remembers it all. The hurt, though, was the most overwhelming.

Louis puts his hands around him and holds him to his chest as Harry's shoulders starts to shake. But instead of holding on to Louis, he wraps his arms around himself. His controlled muffled cries break into heavy sobs, as if he has been holding them in for a long time, without breathing. Louis tightened his grip around him rocking them both, feeling the nostalgic warmth of Harry's body engulf him.

“Shhhh... it's OK.. it's going to be fine... Just tell me what's wrong... tell me-” he mumbles running his fingers through his soft curly hair, massaging.

“I... I c-an't do thi-s -s ... anym-ore... I can't d-o thi-s, Lo-uis” Harry's words are all a heavy jumble between his sobs. But the very tone stings Louis’ heart like a sharp pin. He lets tears spill down as Harry clutches his shirt in a desperate manner. “-please... I ca-n't-” Harry sobs, gritting through strained cries as he wanted nothing but to stop his tears while Louis held him close. Why is Louis tearing up? He hates tears... he hates- what the hell is going on??

But then Harry started to pull away forcing his sobs to a stop, still clutching in to Louis' shirt almost desperate. _No... no don't..._ his skin screams with the loss of contact, the warmth. Clenching his insides, Louis stares at him as Harry pants, struggling to take control. With his face just inches away, Louis could feel Harry's paced, warm breaths on his face. He slowly wipes off his own meaningless tears and looks into the Harry's eyes which are red rimmed. He looks like a kid, face pinched and soft, teary eyes, huge and green. Looking at him, Louis wants nothing but to hold him and hug whatever pain he has, away. Slowly resting his palm on the boy’s jaw line, he runs his thumb delicately on Harry's wet, pale cheeks. And this time Harry does not pull back or object.

Louis bends down, leveling his own cheek with Harry and presses his cheek ever so slowly next to Harry's. He couldn’t help but to breath him in, face buried in the curls. He smells a mixture of fading Tom Ford and that familiar scent - Harry’s own body scent. He feels dazed with a sort of a nostalgia but the next second he slaps himself up and slightly draws back, looking at his face close. _Right, focus._

“Tell me what's wrong, love. If it's the media, we'll handle it OK? It's going to be OK.” He says as Harry hides behind closed eyes.

Louis was almost going to pull away after a moment and press the broken boy to his arms again - because fuck, he could not bear to look at him this close with those lashes fanning down on this face - but then a slight whimper comes out of those reddened bitten lips, beating Louis' consciousness to that nostalgic yearning, which this time, he finds unable to resist. The soft curls reaching shoulder length, adding to the softness of his features unnecessarily, his lips - god, his perfect bow lips. Feeling lightheaded, Louis pushes Harry back to the wall ever so slowly, looking at his puffy childlike face. He could not resist looking at those swollen wine lips even if he tried. Louis runs his thumb slightly on them and in the next moment he feels himself drown right in... pressing his lips to Harry's pouty ones he was once so used to.

I _can't do this,_ Louis thinks. He is with El, isn't he? His brain starts murmuring... But all the sounds inside him and around him mixes with another soft whimper from Harry's still tight lips... The feel of the familiar sensation, the warmth on the very skin which he used to know inch by inch was making him feel almost dizzy. Louis feels Harry's grip on his shirt tighten as he slowly starts moving his lips in response, breathing warmly in to him. Louis runs his fingers through the soft curls, lightly tugging them as he used to, memories making his head sway.

Then ever so slowly, Harry parts his lips, letting him have access while clutching Louis desperately.

 

 

........................................................................................................................

 

 

 

 

In the security room, amid the various screens showing almost everywhere in the building, Paul Higgins shakes his head looking at one of the screens. Every attempt of trying to get Liam to pick up the phone had so far failed.

“This is not necessary, Patrick. The lad has gone through enough for the day.”

Patrick sighs, dialing his phone. He could sense the disapproving gazes of the two other men in the room. But what has to be done, has to be done. This is his job. That's what he is here for. Magee's instructions had been specific. “Sorry, Paul. But it's my duty,” he says clutching the phone to his ear as it rang.

"This is not a prison, Paddy. They are just kids,” Brad adds, eyes flickering to the screen with the two huddled boys among the dozen other screens.

This is insane... absolutely unnecessary as Paul said.

Patrick does not reply, but waits until he hears a rather sleep rough voice from the other side.

_“Hello.”_

“Mr. Magee, sir. It's Patrick. sorry to wake you up, sir. But we've got a small situation.”

 

 

 

 

.........................................................................................................................

 

 

**Buzzzzzzzzzzz**

**Buzzzz Buzzzz Buzzzz**

Outside Harry's room, Liam sat on the floor and looked at his phone on the floor next to him.

It was buzzing again for the millionth time, Stacy Willinks again, their over zealous PR assistant manager. Both Paul and she had been calling him back to back but he had not picked up.

He did not want to talk to anyone at Modest! right now. Especially not Stacy. Of course she wanted to start her preparations for damage control tonight. How surprising?

Liam was not in the mood to hear her bossy tone, and he didn't want to listen to hours and hours of their PR agendas and tactics. He'll call Paul later, maybe after he settles into his own room. He’s sure Paul just wants to know what happened with Harry, Liam knows that at least he is genuinely concerned. Liam wanted to ask him what really happened in the hours Harry was with Modest to make him this upset. He will call Paul after he's in his room. But Stacy would have to wait until morning. The press meeting is tomorrow night, not in the morning for god’s sake. He had many things to think about before she and her team started interrogating them.

His mind was reeling with many thoughts: the press tomorrow, the ongoing tour and their album, the fans' reactions and social media.

This was utterly lame of Harry to be honest, to be this careless. When it comes to show business, what is done, is done... no matter who did it or who pushed it. There’s no going back until the media decides to forget about it. Harry will have to bear with this until it passes, no matter how hard he regrets it. _Poor lad._

They will have to ready themselves to be bombarded tomorrow. Especially Harry, unless management pulled some disco to postpone or keep Harry totally out of it. But Liam knew neither will happen. It's Modest! they are talking about. They will not let you run from the consequences if you crossed them. And they will turn every twist to a moneyball ultimately. Liam would not be surprised if they paraded Harry around and waited for him to be stoned by the public in order to create a huge deal about it. Negative publicity worked for them as same as the other…

Wouldn't be the first time it happened, and not certainly to Harry.

What worried Liam more was that it was all too intimate and private to be paraded around, even for Harry. And with the things that boy had to deal with, Liam truly wished that both the media and Modest! would cut the boy some slack. It’s not as if Harry has ever acted like a spoiled brat who’s lost control, like several of their colleagues in the industry, bickering at media and setting off fans.

Liam took a deep breath. Tomorrow they would all have to get together and discuss how they should react to this, before Modest! took their turn telling them what to do. Liam rested his head on his knuckles in thought.

There was a movement in the far corner of the long corridor, several security guards were walking very quickly towards him. Did they really patrol around at night like this? The night security was a bunch of people the boys had never met, and therefore weren't as nice to them as the day guards that knew everything about them. He hoped they would not mind him sitting here at this time like some room-less crasher. Liam watched them as they kept on walking towards him, he really didn’t think they need this much protection.

 

**buzzzz buzzzz buzzzz**

 

Oh for fucks sake. He took the phone and hits answer to Stacy this time out of irritation.

 

“Hel-”

**“The fuck, Liam!! Get Louis out of Harry's room now!”**

“Err..What?” Liam hesitates with the rush of her tone and the loudness.

**“Get Louis out of that bloody room Liam!”**

“What are you-”

 **“Just do it!”** Liam gets to his feet

“But wha-”

**“He’s under contract for God’s sake! They can’t be cuddling like some love struck puppies! So just tell Louis to get out!”**

Liam would have just kept demanding to know what this was all about if not for the four security guys who were walking towards them just pushes open the door to Harry's room instead of passing it.

“Hey! Wait! You can't go in-”

A tall guard squares his shoulders, baring Liam from the room. “Step aside sir. We are just following orders.” he says.

“Orders? For what? From who?” Liam asks quickly as the other three men walk in. “Wait. Wait!”

 **“Liam!”** he hears Stacy from the other end again.

“What is going on?” he shouts into his phone.

 _“I tried to warn, Liam. Just get Louis out... just do it._ ” Stacy sounds almost pitiful, then the line goes off.

 

Liam stares at the tall guy in front of him for a second. Beside him, Liam sees the guards rudely interrupt the two on the floor, huddled in each other's arms. Harry's face was hidden in Louis' shoulder, and Louis was looking up at the static faces who were standing around them as if he was almost shocked.

“Stand aside Mr. Styles, Sir. Please, stand aside,” one of them says in a tight tone as Harry grabs Louis' shirt with white knuckles, burying his face further in Louis' chest. “Mr. Styles -” the guard calls again as Harry shakes his buried face with a whimper.

 _“No.”_ Harry's muffled voice sounds between desperation, panic, and shame, still clutching to Louis.

“What the fuck do you need?” Louis sounds irritated but shaken to be exposed and interrupted in such a way amid what seemed like an intimate moment.

But the guard ignores him. “Mr. Styles.” He lays his palm on Harry and pats down, making him flinch, which makes Louis go wild.

“Get your fucking hand off of him, scum bag! What is the bloody meaning-”

He kicks at the guard unceremoniously, holding Harry to him and Liam panics.

“Let me in, I'll get him out,” he cries to the guy in front of him. He knows if he does not do something quick this is going to turn into a real scene. Whatever this was, Louis is the last one who would let himself be prodded at .

“I'll get him out, Stacy told me…” The guard eyes him for a second before letting him in. His heart speeds up as the guards watch him frustrated, still trying to get Harry to walk away. He hurries in pushing the men away and bends down aside them.

“Come on, Hazza. Let go, please.” He whispers to Harry, lightly clutching his hand. Harry's grip tightens but after several pleas, he lets Liam peel his hands off Louis. Going slack, Harry lets his arms fall as Liam drags Louis up with him. Louis seems to be in shock, not reacting, seeing as it was Liam who was pulling him away.

“We'll sort this out, ok? We'll sort this out. Let's go. Let's just go,” Liam says turning Louis’ frozen face to his, practically dragging him.

Turning his head back, Liam sees Harry’s lone form on the floor, curled and trembling - face buried in his hands. The guards were looking at him and each other nervously without a clue on what to do, but they were circling him as if to stop him if he tried to follow Liam and Louis.

Liam puts his arm around Louis, as he hurries them out of the room not wanting him to look back and see Harry like that.

 

They walk, with Liam leading a shell shocked Louis away from the room. Liam's mind was running crazy, his heart beat never settling.

Liam tries to configure in his head what had just happened. Stacy, the stoic faces of the unknown guards, and Harry- the poor boy who was exhausted and inconsolable, crumpled on the hard, cold ground. The security shouldn’t have acted like they had… they can not just barge in like that. Not unless the order had come from their Head, Paul, or Modest! Itself. He wanted to call Paul and demand an explanation, but with Louis in his arms, it would be impossible. Louis’ breathing was still rapid, walking alongside Liam like a rag doll.

When they had gotten about halfway down the hallway, Louis suddenly stops in his tracks, startling Liam.

“Harry... I - I can't leave him.” Louis tries to turn back, but Liam is stronger. He tightens his arm around Louis forcing him to keep walking.

“It'll be fine. I'll go back for him. I'll go back, ok?” Liam says in a consoling voice, determined to get Louis out of there.

He needed to make sure at least one of his boys made it out of this night partially intact.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts.


	4. Things I can't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam goes back to Harry with Zayn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not 100% happy with this chapter still. But here you go. Warnings for bit of angst.

 

 

 

 

 

**4\. Things I can't**

 

 

 

BANG!!

Bang ..Bang ..Bang..

"God.. Hold on. I'm coMING!!"

Niall shouts stuffing the last bit of crisps into the mouth. A bit too late for late snacks but he needed something to get his head straight. He is all ready for bed but now someone was banging on the door as if to break it down. Throwing the empty packet to the bin, he unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a very worried Liam who is supporting a terribly pale Louis. Louis’s eyes looks red rimmed. _Has he been crying?_

Without a word or an invitation Liam walks in almost carrying Louis with him, not even looking at Niall.

"Wha..What's going on?" Niall asks, he watches both of them  alarmed. Hell could freeze, yes, but Louis does not break down, cry.. like not ever... angry sarcastic.. irritated ...pissed off... yes. But cry??? no...

Liam leads Louis to sit on the leather couch, kneeling down beside him. Niall silently watches as Louis rests his elbows on his knees and buries his face in his hands. He nods in his position as Liam whispers few words to him, running his hand on Louis’ back comfortingly. Niall just stands watching the them, dumbstruck, waiting for Liam to explain as Liam comes to Niall with a hurried expression.

"What's going on?"

Grabbing Niall's shoulder Liam walks to the door, impatiently. He lowers his voice as if he doesn’t need Louis to hear. "Something happened.. Harry's not in a good state..-"

"What? Did they fight?" Did Louis throw a punch at Harry or something after running his mouth on Niall to shut up about Harry? What the freaking hell? Niall didn't understand their relationship most of the time. Not even when they were actually together… no matter how much he supported them.

"No .. No... Some management crap... I don't exactly know what happened. I have to go and check on him... keep Louis here. Don't let him come and just... just try to calm him down. I'll get Zayn and try to sort Harry."

"But... what happened?... He's ... _He's crying_??!!" Niall pauses as if Liam to understand how bizarre that even sounds ... Liam wipes his nose impatiently  not looking up. Niall stares at his unusual edgy behaviour. "But Louis doesn't cry... like not ever!!" Niall whispers not sure if Louis could hear them or not.

"I know... I know. Just calm him down. He'll be fine". Liam gives small assuring pat to Niall's shoulder. "I have to go - ..Harry." Liam hurries off wiping his brow, leaving Niall standing there.

Niall just stares after him. Is he panicking? The ever so calm and know-what-to-do and say Liam panicking? Is Harry alright? He was upset enough in the roof top. But Harry is somewhat a soft ball no matter what mask he chooses to wear time to time. But also he's a one who takes things as it comes, right? He'll be fine, surely?

Niall turns his eyes on Louis who is clutching his head with both his hands now.

_What the hell had happened?_

 

From Niall’s, Liam goes straight to Zayn's.

He wanted to get back to Harry as soon as possible, but he is not sure if he could handle this alone. Images of the security circling around Harry’s curled form popped up in his mind like air bubbles in water. They had barged in on them without a consent and demanded them to walk off as if they were doing something forbidden. How the hell could the security do that?? _They were world known artists, not some junkies in cells to be ordered around or forced upon like that!!_

After something like five minutes, both Liam and Zayn were rushing along the corridor. Zayn who had been fully dressed for bed had just hurriedly put on his chesterfield coat over the pajama bottoms after listening to Liam. It bellowed like some cape behind Zayn as they ran towards Harry's room, revealing his toned and inked torso.

 

Liam comes surprised to see the same guard who stopped him at the door previously standing in front of the closed room with a stoic expression. The guard holds his hands as to gesture them to stop.

"I'm sorry.., but you can't go in, sir"

"Beg your pardon?" Zayn is the first to hit back.

"What do you mean?" Liam asks trying to reason out.

"This is a stadium not a some prison" Zayn scoffs, eying the guard angrily.

"I'm sorry, sir but we have orders to-..."-

"- Mister, We bloody have a show tomorrow and you people are stressing one of us out...!!," Zayn says irritated and his accent heavy, "- so we appreciate if you could just bloody step back and let us make sure that he's fine!!" Zayn feels quite passed his patience.

"We just want to see if he's ok... nothing wrong with that" adds Liam gravely, still trying to remain calm.

The guard shakes his head " My orders clarify -"

"To hell with your orders!!- " Zayn steps up furious, his voice loud. They could have gone in and see to Harry if not this stupid man. "-this is not a bloody prison!!" he bends closer to the man's face with a glare to cut. "This is a stadium in case if you didn't notice. So if you want to have your job when you wake up after your nap tomorrow... You better let us go in despite your freaking shitty orders!!!!!" he says threateningly, firing daggers at the man.

The Guard eyes him stoically without a word.

Liam squeezes Zayn's arm trying to calm him down and looks at the guard closely.

"Look, you have to excuse us but we are under a lot of pressure right now..." he says as much calm as he could muster... "-the media blow up.. tomorrow's show and the media conference... Harry is going to be targeted from head to toe in it. He needs to hold it up tomorrow... "

"I'm sorry sir but I am strictly under orders to not to let Mr. Styles to contact Mr. Louis Tomlinson for confidential reasons."

Liam just stares at the man. _Confidential... what? what the fuck is he on about?_

"What, you think this is CSI or something?" Zayn snaps.

"Look, Matt-" Liam says looking at his name badge, "- Louis is not here, ok? We have to make sure Harry's fine. He can't sing in a show looking like shit tomorrow, alright? You know this."

The guard eyes him grimly avoiding Zayn completely. Liam feels the gaze much lighter than seconds before though... it won't be impossible for this man to see reason.. he had let Liam in the first time, right?

"I'm sure that you won't be crossing any orders by letting us in,"  Liam tries again... "Neither of us are Louis, you know that... we just want to make sure Harry's fine, and make sure he will be up for tomorrow's show... you know it's not too much to ask.." Liam could see the guard is calculating what he said, still looking unsure.

"Tell them that I requested and pressured you to let us in... me." he says sincerely.

 

With some more prodding in Liam's part, the guard finally gives in.  

"I'm just doing my job, sir. I will let you in, but you have to make sure Mr. Tomlinson is not in contact with him in anyway." He says as if he is making some illegal pact with them.

"Guaranteed" Liam says as Zayn huffs from the back, unable to contain himself.

"And I'm sorry, but I have to ask you to leave your phones behind before you go in, sir." The guard says almost apologetically.

Zayn starts to protest but Liam in a one stork drops his phone to the floor.

  
"Let me in." he says giving a hard look to the security guy, deciding they were wasting too much of time when Harry probably must be in an emotional comatose for whatever the reason. Zayn takes out his phone from his pocket and waves it in front of the guard’s face, still furious. He then throws it near Liam’s phone on the floor, glaring.

The guard unlocks the door and leaves them to it.

 

Without wasting time, Liam turns the handle slowly and pushes it open. They walk in not knowing what to expect, though the sound of light sniffs does warn Liam that Harry is probably not in a good state... but the sight he sees as he steps in, shatters his heart.

Harry was on the floor, at the same place he sat when Liam dragged Louis out of the room. Curled to his side, silent tears seem to trickle freely down his face. His tousled and sprawled locks of hair was a mess.  He looked weary -  but unable to stop his tears either. Have those mindless idiots at least try to get him to bed? Why the hell would anyone leave him like this. Liam couldn't spell his own anger and a hesitation.

Did Harry get in to a fight with them or something?

Liam hears Zayn take a sudden breath behind him. He couldn't blame him.

Slowly walking to Harry, Liam drops beside him - tracing his hand along his shoulder with loss for words. It makes Harry flinch. But then seeing who it is, Harry turns his face down to the woolen floor carpet as if he did not want Liam to see him like this. His shoulders start to shake.

"Harry... Shhh… it’s ok, ... its ok…"

Sudden sounds of small sobs makes Liam not know what to do.

So he lifts him, slowly pulls him to his arms. Harry comes without much protest, burying himself in Liam, similar way he had done with Louis moments ago. His sobs seem to increase as Liam starts to trace comforting circles on his back.  Liam could not begin to understand what the hell had really happened. Only he never expected this when he asked Louis to follow Harry, knowing that Harry never really wore his heat on his sleeve anymore. With raging media and management backlash, Liam thought he needed someone. Did Louis agitate him somehow? But Louis seemed to be in a emotional wreck as well. What the hell had happened? It is not as if he had not seen Harry teary before but… Was it Louis? Did something happen?

Harry was on the edge since he came back from Modest. He had been barely holding it, it had been clear as day. But then the security? What about  the security barging in like that? And Stacy? Why did she phone him like that? As if to warn him… tell him to get Louis out?

Liam feels confused about this whole thing. What the hell is going on?

But whatever it is, it is a freaking disaster - with video footage and bloody pictures - but Harry’s reaction to the whole scandal seems far agitated to be for the situation. It is as if he was holding something back for too long, something that had been eating him up from inside for a longer time... and now as he stumbled and tears started, it does not seem to stop.

Harry is crying his head off…

Still holding the shaking boy, Liam glances at Zayn who is kneels across him with wide eyes.

In the beginning of their careers as a band, they have always been protective of each other. Despite his assigned role to be the cheeky and flirty one, Harry was this 16 year old kid who had left home much earlier than he should for show business - which demanded to be mature and older than he really was. And with all the media scapegoating, plastered woman-loving image and high volume attention, it felt like it was their responsibility to be there for the boy who was a bit of a dork and a softie in real life. Being the youngest of his own family, Harry had tried to seek warmth he lost leaving his home for x factor, by cuddling in to them, relying on the older boys even more than Niall, demanding affection and favours like the annoying spoilt little brother they never had. And he had always been Louis’ baby then - who practically acted and spoilt him as Harry was his. And Harry was not any better. In a way Liam always thought that the reason they got on so well was that because they matched each other like some two puzzle pieces. Louis seek to give attention and Harry demanded to get it from anyone who would give it to him.

But somewhere between the break up with Louis and now, Harry had shaken that away while taking on to be a more reserved and grown up with his personal life... too reserved maybe, distancing himself from the other boys, which at times irritated them to a point which made them think that he had changed over time. But at this moment, the crying boy reminded both Liam and Zayn of the old Harry they knew, the younger version of him who has naively mis-stepped and wounded.

"Hazza, you are going to be alright. We are here for you … whatever happens... we'll sort it out." Liam says tracing Harry's back, easing as Harry's breath hitches painfully in his throat.

Harry grips on Liam's shirt and presses his face deeper into Liam's chest, purposely muffling his sound as if he almost did not want two of them to hear,

 _"T_ _-ake m-e to hi..him.... ... please..."_ he suddenly babbles through sobs . _"_ _Pease... ta-ke me to Louis..."_ Harry blurts in a hoarse voice heavy with tears.

 

Liam stills with a pang inside him. _What? is he ? Is this about Louis???_  But…

_"._ _..I want to see.. him, plea..se.. take me to him... please.. "_

Harry begs, clenching Liam's shirt with whitened knuckles.

Liam's head stings at the desperation of the tone. He shakes his head wanting to feel something anything with the tug forming in his throat, 'Harry...' he mumbles, wrapping both of his arms around Harry tightly, suddenly feeling his own eyes well up.

He searches Zayn’s face, unable to think what to do, or say.

Zayn looks away pursing his lips with heavy eyes. Liam knows he too is trying to hide emotions.

Harry's shoulders shakes as he gasps for air.

 _"... Why can't I be with him... Liam.. why ca..n't I have hi..m in my fucking life...? "_ Harry continues to sob.., _"I just wanted to be with him..., what is so.. wro..ng with that? I just..wan..ted..-"_

Liam feels his own eyes getting heavier and heavier with each word Harry babbles out... It was nothing he was expecting, neither Zayn for sure...

How and why? Why so suddenly? This is out of the blue? But - but wasn't Harry the one who left Louis?? Wasn't he the one who dumped him and half acted like an asshole some years back? Of course Harry had his reasons with Louis being a total paranoid git, but there was no denying that Harry ended it. Liam does not even want to remember all the fights and tension it all brought to the band... even when they were on stage, performing. It was a dark time for all of them. 

But how? Why now? What the hell had happened when Louis came in?

 

Harry heaves with his face hidden on Liam’s now almost moist shirt as Liam keeps running his fingers through Harry's messy curls.

Both Liam and Zayn are at a loss for words as they try to control their tears for the sake of their friend. But they were utterly failing with Harry's guttering words...

 _'...I want to see.. him, plea..se.'_ His voice almost begs as if it was the last resort .

'Harry, you need to rest ... Louis's fine … I’m sure...' Zayn tries carefully running his hand over Harry's back, voice heavy and controlled. Zayn had always been by Louis’ side since the break up, it was only natural that Zayn would stick for him like a habit; but Liam is not sure if Harry can hear either of them as he starts to tremble whilst the heavy sobs, gripping Liam’s shirt tighter and tighter with white knuckles.

'I'm so... _sick_ ... of being hurt,' he blurts with a weary devastation as his voice cracks heavily,  '... I'm so... _sick_ ... of them throw-ing him at.... my face... every-....single _fucking_ time!! like it's the reason for eve-ry bloody.. Thing...- what is so ... wro-ng with me wanting him...?'

Harry’s shaking voice demands answers but what is there to say? Both Liam and Zayn knew it is impossible at this moment. So Liam just tightens his hold around Harry and starts rocking them both as Harry wept non-stop, begging them to take him to Louis. It was as if the tears didn't stop. His body seem to  tire out as well as his mind, but the tears kept coming.

 

After what seemed like hours, Harry had finally gone quiet. Body drenched in sweat and face smeared in salty tears, he took wheezing breaths through his parted lips. Apart from blinking and coarse risings of the chest, Harry was still. His skin was pale and clammy, and his eyes were red puffed... he seem worn out and exhausted after hours and hours of breaking apart. If Harry is to stand up and face it all tomorrow - he would need to get some sleep, at least for few hours; both Liam and Zayn knew. It is the least they could do for the time being...

So, pulling him up, Liam takes him to the shower while Zayn digs through Harry’s cloths to find something other than fancy shirts and jeans - something comfortable. Liam helps Harry off the cloths and into warm healing water. Not wanting to leave him in the shower alone, he waits until Harry finishes; And he is glad he did because Harry starts crying under the sprinkling water again, pressing  his head against the damp bathroom wall, trembling all over. Biting his lip, Liam could just watch silently - he leads Harry out of the shower when he doesn’t seem to stop though, handing him a fluffy towel to dry off.

After changing to a pair of sweatpants, Harry just sits on the bed with silent tears trickling down his pale face, complying to whatever Zayn & Liam does as if he is mindless.

He lets Zayn mess with his dripping hair with the towel until it is fairly dry and swallows the painkillers Liam hands him over without a word. And he doesn’t say anything as Zayn pulls the duvet over him and tucks him under, closing his eyes in an empty sigh.

It only takes moments for Harry to fall into a sleep, his soft sores rhythmic.

 

 

...................................................................

 

 

 

 

Exhausted, both Liam and Zayn walk along the dimly lit corridor, leaving Harry’s room. The first thing Liam does as they pass the guard is calling Paul. Zayn tags along impatiently. Neither of them has been allowed to stay behind with Harry and Zayn had gotten into an argument with the security guard again for it.

Furious, Liam has dialed Paul on the way...

Paul answers in the second ring.

‘What the hell is going on, Paul?' Liam snaps before Paul could say anything else than a concerned ' Liam' as the greeting.

'Calm down. Is Harry and Louis ok?' Paul sounds anxious behind his deep voice though he tries to hide it.

'Fantastic!! What do you think? Harry was having a fucking fit and I had to drag Louis out so he won't throw a fit looking at it. They left him laying on the floor, Paul. Did you fucking set this up?' Liam raises his voice as Zayn clears his throat impatiently.

'It's not what it seem, ok... just some precautions that the management had taken to ensure the contracts are intact. It's nothing seriou - '

'Nothing??!!! Nothing?? Fuck, Paul. They were about to manhandled them like some thugs and you are saying it's nothing!?'

Suddenly Zayn grabs Liam's phone out of his hand,

'Did you or did you not set your bulldogs on Harry, Paul?!!!!' he scoffs to the phone.

Paul goes silent for a moment. 'Give the phone to Liam, Zayn' Paul says calmly.

'Do you'll honestly think that we’re some pin-ups to pimp around when you want and toss down when you can't agree with. YOU'LL BLOODY CAN'T INTERFERE WITH OUR PRIVATE LIVES!!!’

Paul knows Zayn is protective over the boys as same as Liam... but unlike Liam, Zayn had always been more aggressive. And right now he will be the least person to look through the facts.

'Give the Phone to Liam, Zayn.' he says again calmly.

'BLOODY ANSWER THE QUESTION, PAUL!!! DID YOU SEND THEM OR NOT!!??'

'YES! I HAD TO. It's his contract and he signed it. I did try to warn Liam but he won’t answer the phone. Now give it to him or I'll hang up because you are not in the state to talk!'

'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU..- ' Liam grabs his phone back... making Zayn swear angrily. Liam had already heard what was said in raised voices.

'You better give a good explanation to this, Paul.' he says surprised at himself for being this calm after knowing their own good friend, Paul had indeed sent the guards on Harry and Louis. Especially on Harry who Paul is close friends with.

'I will. I will meet you tomorrow, but as for now I need you two to go back to your rooms and make sure you are up for tomorrow. Harry will be alright. He’s asleep. He’s just had a rough day. He'll be ok tomorrow... thanks to you two.'

'How do you know we went to Harry's?' Liam asks after a pause.

This was the second time Management or security knew where they were and what they have been doing... how the hell does Paul know that Harry was asleep and that he and Zayn went to his room? Did the guard call Paul?

'Listen to me, Liam, now is not the time for this. It's late and you'll have to make an early start with rehearsals. We’ll meet and talk tomorrow. You need to sleep now.'

Liam tries to protest but Paul insists that it is too late for that. Liam knows that it is no use pressuring it... it's just the way Paul is no matter how close or friendly he is to them. So he grits his teeth and let Paul hang up the phone, heading to Niall’s with Zayn who shakes his head angrily without a word.

Niall looks as if he is sleepwalking when he opens the door for them. Liam could not blame him, it’s almost three in the freaking morning. Louis had already fallen asleep on the same couch Liam left him on. Looking at him, they decide not to wake him up. Instead they both crash on Liam’s room for a much needed sleep after all the chaos, tired off their wits.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to make Harry seem weak or anything here but this is a of a low point for him... The story is a bit of a slow build... I know. Don't hate me :)
> 
> I know I'm reposting. I didn't want to just edit because there were some parts I needed to change and combine. But if you are new to the story let me know your thoughts. Please do comment. :)


	5. Only Fools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In our lives, we are only fools for things we lose, possess and dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had changes from the earlier version.

 

  **5\. Only Fools**

 

  ** _February 2013 - Past_ **

 

_The crowd's giggling,_

_Harry is galloping on the stage in front of them with one of his ridiculous lines. Louis' not sure if the audience is laughing because it is actually funny or just because Harry is being a silly dork. It only makes him more irritated for no particular reason… well, seeing Harry irritates him anyway these days. Can anyone blame him?_

_He could not help rolling eyes at some stupid move in Harry's part as Liam shoots him a look._

_Louis gets up as Harry barks out a loud laugh to the mike- and no, he can not help it; the lean body, fucking bright green eyes and bronze curls tied up in a bandana - Louis bloody wishes if he could drag him to a corner and erase that bloody lie of a bubbly mood Harry is putting up on the stage these days once and for all… he just wishes._

_When would Harry quit pretending and accept that he is damned without Louis as same as him without Harry?_

" _Wow...That_ _must be one of the most shitty boring jokes ever, Harold" he only half glances at Harry with a cutting sneer as the audience laughs again; this time siding with Louis for sure._

_The other  lads shoot him with silent warning glances as Harry looks his way  with a grimness - his mood changing in an instant._

" _Thank you." he spats in a monotone, not looking at Louis. He then walks away without finishing his time  slot to speak._

 

_After the final bow Harry is the first to leave the stage. Louis ignores him completely, though he follows him with the other three who keep silent._

" _Are we up for FIFA tonight, lads? We could hop to Neon later for drinks, put up a fun lads' night." Louis sings loud, putting his arm around Zayn’s shoulder. "Have enough beers in mine."_

" _Yeah, why not. I'm in." Niall says slowly. They all knew what this is about._

" _We'll have to tell Paul to get the 2 cars ready. Reckon he'll say no to five in a one." Liam sounds casual enough._

" _Oh, no need... Four in a one would be fine. Curly can go for some free fucks by himself as usual."  Louis’ tone is mocking than he even intends. "Don’t think I have room for 5 on my bed anyway - for FIFA of course, since we are playing on the bed. Sure he won't fit -"_

" _Louis" it’s Zayn who calls, not Harry as Louis hopes._

" _What?"_

"W _e’re coming. So shut up" Zayn doesn’t even look at him as he says._

_Louis scoffs bitterly. Why the hell couldn't Harry turn around and fucking say something back to him, so he could bloody spit out the foul taste in his mouth?_

_But Harry does not... with his bloody curls and doe like eyes, he just keeps walking , just taking it._

 

_Harry does not show up to Louis’ room with other lads for FIFA that night, like any day since their break up - not that Louis really expected him to. But he might have just had a tiny hope that the others might drag him along though, which they do not._

_Louis decides that he hates him anyway- with all his heart._

 

 

  

 

**_January 2015 - Present_ **

 

By 8.15 in the morning, Zayn was in Niall's room beside Louis - waiting for Niall to get dressed.

Louis has become uncharacteristically quiet today as if he is in a different zone. When Zayn arrived, he had found Louis sprawled on the same leather couch he slept last night, checking his phone, already dressed for the day. He was checking on gossips and dirt sites which were blasting Harry off with often mentions of the band. Though it was the last thing Louis, for his own sanity, should do... Zayn decides to stay off about it with a warning gesture from Niall. Surely poor Niall had had some telling offs by Louis in the morning...

So Zayn just sits beside Louis quietly, not wanting to agitate him more. He, as the closest to Louis out of the lads nowadays knew that Louis prefers to be left alone when he is upset. He wonders if Liam is facing the same muteness from Harry, regardless his breakdown yesterday.

Most of the time, these two were just different sides of the same coin.

After waking up sour with a few hours of sleep, Liam had directly gone to Harry's to check up on him while Zayn had come to Niall's. They both had agreed to not say anything about Harry's breakdown to Louis... it is Harry's to tell, if he wanted. Niall... maybe later when they can get into a Louis free zone

"How’s he?"

Louis suddenly asks, not taking eyes off the phone. Zayn looks at Louis sideways, who keeps scrolling the screen down. _Is he checking bloody twitter?_

"I know you went to him last night with Liam."

"He was, umm... not that good to be honest." Zayn says not seeing a reason to lie when Louis is going to find out soon anyway. Not telling details is another story.

Louis's eyes lands on Zayn, but he keeps scrolling the screen with his finger.

"...figured-" he says as if expecting more. When nothing comes he lowers the phone and looks directly at Zayn with a sigh. "I fell asleep... "

"Yeah... we stayed until he slept. It was late when we came back." Zayn meets Louis’ calculating eyes.

Zayn could practically feel the impatience Louis is emanating... he knew Louis wanted to know what happened with Harry. But also he must be nervous and confused as hell. Zayn was not sure what really went on yesterday when they were together but adding one to one, he is sure it had to be more than platonic. From the way Louis was acting now, he could just tell. Hell, Zayn always wondered if these two could really ever be platonic. There were too much between them to be just friends - no matter how much they tried to pretend. Only issue is whether this is the right time… With Eleanor by his side as his steady girlfriend, Zayn knows Louis must be feeling pretty messed up right now. Louis is far better off not knowing how devastated Harry was yesterday, at least for now...

Zayn's thoughts goes back to last night - the way Harry cried, begging to see Louis... What would Louis do if he knew?

 

"You think he'll be up for the disco today?" Louis asks, his voice on the edge.

Zayn leans back and sighs. "I don't know, man. you should talk to him. He was pretty upset, but if there's anyone who can pull this off with the bloody media, it's Harry."

"In' it?' Louis smirks looking back at his phone, irritated now.

"I kissed him last night..." he says suddenly, blankly, looking at Zayn. And Zayn just watches him.

Louis waits as if he was expecting Zayn to say something, again. He bites his lower lip when he doesn't.

 

"Was he pretending this whole time?... with - with this whole _let's focus on the band thing_...?" he runs his hand on his face, letting out a long breath. "Management... Do -do you think... they put him up to it?" Louis slurs - but he blinks with impatience.

Zayn leans on his knees, shaking his head without a clue what to say.

"How... how did they know I was with Harry? Do you think they've bugged-"

"Louis..-" Zayn said calmly. Both Liam and him already talked about this and suspected this... in case they were going to confront Paul about this whole thing, but the last thing they needed is a paranoid Louis. And mind him, Zayn knows how paranoid Louis could get when he is stressed, not to mention that it was practically the reason Louis’ and Harry’s relationship blew off in the first place.

Zayn looks at Louis who is running his hand through his hair as if to calm himself. Maybe a trait he picked up from Harry years ago.

"-you should talk to him..." Zayn says quietly.

"I can't stop hearing him fucking begging those bastards... it's ringing in my head!!" Louis says looking blankly at the ceiling, more to himself than to anyone else. He lays back, motionless - burying himself in thoughts.

With a long breath, Zayn leans back as well. Taking out his phone, he starts going through Google sites absently - article after article, exposing Harry, throwing knives after knives at his very image. He wonders whether Harry had seen them. There are too many photos of too much skin passing around. He shifts uncomfortably looking at them. Did Louis just see these? - this is all too much of disregard to Harry's privacy, no matter how much of a famous he is. And now, seeing him for his true feelings, Zayn felt disgusted for the absurdity of all this.

It's ironic how the world is just out of depths for the very word _love._

“'This is all bullshit!!"

Zayn’s line of thought gets cut as he startles to Louis’ swearing suddenly.

“This is fucking bullshit! How the hell did any of this even happen?”

Louis pulls himself up, settling into a sitting position. He rests his arms on his knees, leaning forward. He keeps breathing heavily, his soft locks falling to cover his eyes. Zayn squeezes his shoulder to calm him down.

Louis shakes his head. "What were they trying to do guarding his bloody door like he's in some zoo cage, Zayn? "

Zayn hesitates... _What ? did Louis...-?_

"I went to see him after you two went back to Liam's." Louis says with a sigh.

Zayn only shakes his head. No wonder Louis is bitter and in this biting mood.  He lets out a sigh.

"I just wanted to see if he’s fine" Louis adds blankly again.

 

Zayn wishes if he could say that Harry is fine but then even he could sense the falseness of his words. How fake have their lives had been lately caught up in media storms and stardom? They sit there again quietly with Louis in thought and Zayn with a loss for words until Zayn's phone blinks with a new message... from Liam;

_To: Zayn Malik_

_"Come to the stadium straight. Harry’s already left. I'll go and try to find him. Hope Tommo's fine"_

Harry has gone already? When did he wake up? Is he alright? Zayn does not know what to make of it.

 

_To: Liam Payne_

_“Get there soon. Think Tommo had gone back to Harry's last night. He knows abt the guard."_ Zayn types.

 

Liam replies right away.

 

_To: Zayn Malik_

_"No shit!! Is he ok? he must be pissed"_

 

_To: Liam Payne_

_“Need to meet Paul and sort this out. He’s on the edge."_

 

Zayn types with a glance at Louis who was still spaced out.

 

_To: Zayn Malik_

_'We all need to talk. It’s getting out of hands... too many papz outside!!'_

 

Zayn sighs. Liam is right; they needed to make a plan to deal with this without letting the management scapegoat Harry, he thinks as he leads a now very silent Louis and a freshly washed Niall to the stadium. He wonders if Liam had found Harry. Paparazzi must be having a field day today and they would surely do anything to get a snap of Harry in the stadium - to add more juiciness.

Not that he, Zayn is the ideal role model for the band with several stunts in his bag, but this Peige thing is an unnecessary disaster. But Zayn knew none of them could point blank blame Harry for it.

Harry was assigned to lead a public life and management constantly encouraged him into publicized affairs to ensure that he is out there in the news. Meeting this Paige bloody whoever she is, is a result of that. Of course the rest of them often wondered how Harry coped up with it all because none of them thought they could handle the extra attention. And now, knowing the possible truth about this whole thing, how could they blame him? Because it is all a sham then, isn’t it? All Harry’s hook ups, his noncommittal relationships and loose shags... But why did he break up with Louis then? Why did Harry make them all believe that he wanted out? That he’s over Louis?

Had he for all this time lived with a Louis sized hole in his mind, watching him kiss a girl right in front of his eyes, day after day?

It did not make any sense… least not for Zayn.

Why and how did Harry hide this for so long, from all of them?

 

 

.......................................................................................

 

 

 

 

" _Brad_ , Wait up!"

Jimmy, the newest to the Modest Security squad calls out to a man who was making his way out of the stage of the huge stadium. With same built as Jimmy and sugar brown hair, Brad, is Jimmy’s senior - the one who got him the job.

Brad has been working for Modest for about  four years in the main security unit. Having worked almost a decade in the entertainment security business, he knew too much dirt and secrets of the industry. Secrets, and money schemes which many people would die to know, and some people may pay to hide.

They have of course, paid him - couple of times, making him several grands richer with some effortless easy earned money. It could have actually served him proper if not for his gambling problem. The habit which had recently dropped him to the point of bankruptcy and shit load of debts, earning him several warning notes from the heads of his company even. Of course, Modest did not fancy a debt tied, addicted gambler working for their top brands.

Brad had met Jimmy in one of the casinos along with some very important tycoons from show business. Tycoons with very dangerous ideas and a rather an attractive sum to pay, if he is able to set some actions in motion. One thing leading to another, Brad had become a close acquaint of Jimmy Addison, a showbiz contractor – a contractor with contracts which were not completely lawful.

Never in his lifetime had Brad ever thought that he will end up getting involved in a showbiz scheme which is so unethical and dangerous, nearly as ruthless as only few industry secrets he had ever heard before. If anyone had told him about it six months back, he would not have believed it… hell he would have actually reported it. But a lot had happened in last four months with his gambling and he could not say no to the amount of cash along with the free partnership with Jimmy which would ensure a safe passage to rest of his life if this worked. He could not kick the chance away even if he tried, can he?

Brad stops at the stairs going down which lead to the passage entering to the dressing area and looks around for anyone watching them. The stadium is empty apart from George, the voice trainer of the boys and the one and only Harry Styles with some dudes from the technical crew doing sound checks for evening already. Other boys were nowhere to be seen, nor Paul.

 

"Hey’ Brad says solemnly looking at Jimmy who hurries down the stairs to level with him.

"Where were you last night, man?" Jimmy sounds almost sceptical.

"Had to cover for Paul, he went to Modest with Styles."

"They weren’t too happy I turned up alone. You weren’t on arena checks even after."

"Incident with the boys. Paul wanted me in the cam room. Couldn’t flip it… how did it go? Did Victor come as well?"

"No,… just Eric and that douche Nick. They pay the rest in the delivery. Anything we should worry about?" Jimmy asks worried. He does not like last minute changes.

"Nah, some contract crap. The boy’s a bit upset. Nothing to worry about. Did Roger give you the keys?"

Brad did not want to spill last night’s stuff to Jimmy... It is nothing but unnecessary. The whole drama was just Modest heads reeling up at the kid. There's nothing he could do for him. And he knows that any of this does not matter now. This is a one way road since the moment he agreed to do this. He pushes away the regrets his mind had been building inside.

_Money is money… no matter what you do to get it._

"Yeah, last night," says Jimmy - dragging the keys Roger had handed him over last night, the keys to the SVU Roger usually drove for boy’s travels.

"Keep them with you for now," Brad says "Paul might call you in for travels. Keep them until the second half of the show. I’ll be at the dressing area. You can pass it to me there, in case we meet." Brad says lowering his tone.

"Yeah, sure. I’m off then. Boss wants to recheck my duty sheet… he’ll roll in his shoes tomorrow" Jimmy smirks walking off with a wink to Brad.

Brad sneers not giving up anything for his partner to see but inside he feels as if he is almost sweating.

He keeps his face up until Jimmy  disappears in the corner. Then, looking afar at the arena, he searches for Harry. He spots him sitting on a sound box with the voice trainer.

He sighs with a nagging guilt swooping through his thoughts.

 

Being in the main security room in front of cameras with Paul, he had felt almost awkward watching him, guilty even - knowing that he had turned this boy’s fate to a pit-less hole. No matter what was going on between the two boys, Brad knew it won’t matter for long. His thoughts are nearly cursing him for getting into this. But he knows that now it is all too far gone to stop.

In the beginning, four months back, he had not given much thought to the boy when he agreed to this- his only concern being involving in something far illegitimate. But as the days neared he had started wondering where this will lead and what would it cause Harry to end with. But Brad knew that it did not matter anymore. He had already helped to set things in motion.

He needed the money…

Brad starts walking down again as he hears Harry’s deep voice singing the parts in their hit song ‘Strong’ - he could not help to notice some sadness mingled between its lines. Stepping into the narrow passage, Brad slams the door behind him to block the sound from arena.

Gripping his hands he just walks towards the passage without looking back.

 

Intentional or not, he had bloody set things in motion for them to kidnap the curly haired fucking heartthrob of One Direction.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts :)


	6. Where You Left Me To Sing Off-Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sound checks before the show. Louis wants Harry to talk to him and Liam, Zayn and Niall worries. Modest calls for another meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii, sorry for taking a bit of a time for this one. I had to add some stuff in to the chapter so took a bit of a time. Hope you'll like it.

 

 

**6\. Where You Left Me To Sing Off-Key**

 

 

The stadium they were performing was enormous...one of the largest they've ever performed.

If not for the sudden storm that broke down to their heads, they would have sat together and marveled at the state their lives had expanded in just 4 years in the so called industry. Five normal lads who thought it was a good idea to queue up in the lines of X factor stages were now standing in one of the largest stadiums in the world preparing for one of their many sold out shows… Sounds like some weird and clichéd fairytale.

But it is their reality, at least in a glimpse.

.

For Louis, the whole stadium facility felt like a Maze, a labyrinth more like- because of the narrow pathways and never ending corridors which led from one to another leading to the humongous stage in the middle. If you weren't that familiar of the pathways you could easily get lost. Maybe that's the reason the security were always there tagging them within the premises. It always felt like going in circles with a strange sense of Deja-vu because everything everywhere looked the same. Louis couldn't help smirking at his own thought, the irony of it when he felt exactly the same about his life right now…going in circles without right cues.

Niall shoots him with a side glance for his absurd face.

Zayn had told them that Liam and Harry are already in the stadium for the sound checks. They only had until 12 for preps according to the schedule but right now it is the last thing in Louis’ mind.

There was a constant tug at his heart which he was too scared to explore, a pang which kept on bursting as he tried to push it down. His mind was rising against him, reminding him of things he did not want to think about. It kept playing Harry's broken voice last night telling him that he _couldn't do it anymore_... and the way the bloody guards acted as there were written restrictions for them two to not to interact. He could not still wrap his head around anything that happened last night nor why, and it made him confused and angry about everything. He was too shocked and numb to react to it then but now he wanted to bloody murder someone.

He could never handle the tension when it came to Harry, he never could. Looking back, he always felt if it was the reason everything fell down in the end.

With the world at their feet, they were both too small in the bigger picture of everything that happened.  Arguments after arguments, fights after fights broke them to pieces in the end - no matter how hard they tried to pull it together, it didn’t matter in the end.

Maybe he was in too much deeper than Harry ever really was. Maybe that was why Harry walked away in the end...

 

_...._

 

**_Past_ **

_The coloured lights keeps on flashing in the dance floor with everyone around him dancing to the bouncy rhythm._

_But he could not concentrate even with the dopey dizziness which was supposed to make him loose and happy. His eyes kept flickering to the table in  the corner and to his boy who stood half leaned to it, laughing at a possible lame joke Nick bloody Grimshaw cracked. Was it bloody Grimy's influence that Harry's becoming terrible with his jokes?_

_He bites his cheek inward as the tall man in his ridiculous quiff  barks a laugh to Harry's ear as they both continued laughing. Douglas who sat inches away from  the pair joins in with a side smile which Louis was sure he is assuming to be sexy and endearing. He keeps sipping his whiskey running his eyes all over the curly haired lad in front of him. Look in his eyes makes Louis want to choke him in his bloody drink. Only if he could just go there and drag Harry off the stupid table... off from the two losers. But there were too many people around... and too many cameras. He could not touch Harry's skin even if he wanted to._

_Grimy starts whispering to Harry's ear and Harry bends closer... closer - maybe the sound is too high in the club. Nick keeps whispering with his hand covering around Harry's ear. Harry slightly fidgets, a smile in his face. Did bloody Grimy touch his boy's secret spot to make him skim like that?_

_He feels too drunk suddenly. What a fucking joke!_

_'Lou, do you mind if Grimy came over today?'_

_Harry asks in mid conversation as Paul led Louis towards the car. Louis turns as looks back at Harry who strutted behind Liam and Douglas. Harry was practically under Grimy who  had his arm around his shoulder.  The clingy fucking git!_

_'Why, couldn't he pick a twink to go home with?'_

_'Ex-cuse me?...' Grimy raises his brow. 'That's an insult to the existence of human raise' he sounds a little drunk._

_Harry laughs ... barks out as if amused. Louis wants to punch the quiff out of Grimy's head. What was so fucking amusing about his - oddly shaped too big for his body -face?_

_'Louuu...' Harry drags and Louis knows he's fucking pouting._

_'Whatever... I'm on a brunch date with El in the morning. I'll be off early anyway' he says just to take a dig - unnecessary, yes but at least he didn't say her full name. But it seemed enough to shut Harry up._

_'Grimz,' Douglas calls, maybe to cut the sudden tension crept in, 'I'll drop you to the radio in the morning. Crash with me' he says to the awkward silence. Louis does not look back to check if Douglas still has his heart eyes on Harry as he spoke, because he knew he could not resist punching his pretty face if he caught him doing that again. Only that he regrets getting back at Harry like that... he really does._

_Later that night, Louis makes it up for the dig, drunkenly kissing every inch of skin he could get his mouth on under the sheets._

_Harry squirms and whines, draping his long legs around Louis as always. He kisses him deeper and longer driving Louis off limits... This is his boy... his boy... and he is not going to let anyone take him from him, he thinks marking him softly with teeth. But he bites down harder under the ear for some reason, making the younger boy gasp and dig nails to his back._

_He knows they'll both have to take extra time covering up the scars tomorrow with Lou and her makeup bags._

 

......

 

 

_"I_ _s something wrong?"_

_"_ _What?"_

_"_ _Is something wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Harry asks as Louis spills the cold tea he was drinking to the sink.  Harry had just come from an after party for lord knows what, smelling booze and everything expensive. The fact that Paul had let  fucking  Douglas-I'm too bloody pretty so I can look at your boy- Booth  drive him back had fouled up his mood than Harry just attending the freakish party by a million._

_"I_ _don't know, did you?" Louis asks biting his tongue_

_"_ _Why do you have to jump at my throat every time, Lou?" Harry sounds hurt._

_Why the fuck does he have to sound hurt when Louis was the one who had to endure the bloody flirty stunts of his boyfriend. Under what right, when he knew Harry was spending more time with bloody models slithering along his legs and being stared at by the whole fucking world like he was a bloody free trophy to fantasize when Louis had to keep away , pretending they were just friends._

_Harry's hair looks tousled and eyes a little drunk. Shirt a little askew, allowing a glimpse of  the ink ferns aligning his V line. How many might had run their hands along his hair and crept fingers under his shirt?_

_"_ _Lewis..." Harry says then almost as if something was funny. It annoys him more._

_Louis sighs glaring. "Just drop it."_

_"_ _L-ook-"Harry tries again with a slur, serious this time._

_"_ _Don't be a fucking bird, OK? Drop it!" He does not want this now. He was tired, lonely and irritated._

_"_ _What is wrong with you?"_

_"_ _Fuck you!" he just mumbles and strides toward the balcony, dragging his lighter and the cigarettes out._

_He slams the door extra loud as to say 'stay away' to Harry._

 

......

 

 

_"I_ _fucking don't like the bloody fuck of them!!!'"Louis spats instead the haziness in his mind._

_"_ _Mate-" Niall tries ,not really trying to come any closer at a very fuming Louis._

_Lou and Liam looks alarmed and El nervous._

_Why the fuck did he check twitter to see the last night's drunken photos of Harry with bloody Grimy and the clan including fucking Ben Winston. Winston might have found time to lend his speech of 'The industry tips and how to avoid dropping down from fame by being available to chicks that matter' to Harry in the club. Few shots he took with a protesting El and Lou at the pub were not at all helping to calm him down... Seeing Harry's stubborn defensive face was actually making it worse._

_"_ _The hell, Louis. You went out to your fancy dinner with paps pooling down the road, so I went out with my friends. Big deal!"_

_Louis laughs.._

_"F_ _riends? You call them 'friends?'  " he repeats with air quotes. "They are nothing but a pack of wolves sniffing a bit of publicity and a way into your pants, you fucking kid!"_

_"_ _Louis, stop this - you are drunk." Liam warns but Harry looks livid, maybe for the reason they were fighting in front of an audience... including Elenore._

_Harry barely looks at Elenore let alone talk to Louis normally when she's around even after all this years. And of course if Harry hated anything, it was fighting in public. Should he have waited until they got back to the hotel? But is it not Harry who goes all defensive whenever he said anything against the pack of desperate mutts he calls friends?_

_Harry glares, unbelieving and angry,_

_"_ _You kidding me, right? I don't fucking go around picking up on your friends and side eye them like they are going to fuck you when I'm not around. You've spent how many nights in hotels with your girlfriend here? do I go whining around ignoring you for the rest of the week like-'"_

_"_ _Shut the FUCK UP!'"Louis raises his voice as Elenore flinches. Harry looks shocked, hurt even- but next second his eyes were almost shooting fire._

_"_ _Guys ... guys-" Lou tries to get in the middle as Louis closes on Harry who was fuming as same as him. But any of the others' presence seems out of concern for the both of them now. Harry looks angrier and more stubborn every passing second._

_His voice is low as he speaks,_

_"_ _Why? So you can bloody go and brood in your little hole? I'm not some married twink to sit alone and wait on a couch brooding over until you come home after your nice little dates with your girlfriend, Louis. I have friends and I fucking go out! That's something I do!'"_

_"_ _I FUCKING WAIT FOR YOU EVERY TIME WHEN I'M WITH YOU UNTIL YOU GET YOUR DUMB ASS BACK ... BECAUSE I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING THESE DAYS!"_

_"_ _Maybe you are a fucking twink then!" Harry only mumbles._

_It happens even without knowing, without an inch of a thought. But his livid anger reaching it's height with the marginal drunk head, he grabs Harry by his shirt and throws him with a force to the wall, ignoring the hushed voices around him._

_He doesn't wait anymore to look at any of the faces , neither Harry's, just knows he stumbled backwards.  He hears the loud thud and the surprised hiss as he turns and walks out of the fucking room filled with shocked faces._

_What the hell did he just do? his mind raises the moment he steps out the room... Why the hell did he do that... and in front of all those people? No No... What the fuck did he just do?_

_Maybe he should go back... maybe he should wait until Harry comes out. - Apologize..._

_But instead he gets in a car with his personal and asks to be driven off._

_He goes to the hotel but does not dare go anywhere the room he is sharing with Harry._

_Instead he crashes with Zayn until it's almost the morning next day, drinking his thoughts and guilt away, whining to a patiently listening Zayn. He doesn't tell him what happened though. He makes Zayn take him to their shared room in the end, using a spare key from the hotel reception._

_He finds Harry on the couch watching some crappy late night - early morning - hotel TV._

_With a swaying head he drops on to the single couch but Harry does not take his eyes from the screen. Louis knows that he is not exactly watching anything. Guiltily he wishes if he could just turn back the day to the morning and just do it all in a different way. Maybe he should have waited until they came to their room to sort things out…_

_A slight headache was thumping him in the head. "I'm sorry," he sniffs running his hand through his hair "I was drunk and upset. I shouldn't hav-"_

_"_ _As if you are not drunk now..." Harry sighs without looking at Louis._

_Switching the TV off he drops the remote on the stool beside him and stands._

_"_ _And I'm a fucking twink." he says in a monotone as he walks off towards the bed room without looking at Louis._

_Kicking off his shoes and socks, Louis manages to get to the bed without knocking on anything._

_"_ _I'm sorry- " he says again carefully, awkwardly draping his arm around Harry who lay facing away. Harry does not protest, so Louis slowly and gently let his cold feet touch Harry's warm boat like feet - intertwining them like he always do._

_"I_ _'m so sorry" he repeats wanting to chase away the sniff that comes out without his permission._

_"_ _I know" Harry just mumbles without moving an inch._

 

 

_..............................._

 

 

_**Present** _

It was all too much to take in the end, he knew  now, unlike then.

They had to part ways - _they had to_ \- and ... and Harry wanted to...

They grew apart because it was too much to look at each other and not feel what they had for each other. It was not healthy, Harry was convinced - not for them and definitely not for the band. They had separate lives now, much simpler ... at least his was.

But that did not ever mean that them being together was out of line...right? How could those black clad thugs even break into their rooms? on what underline could they hold down Harry as they did, like some junkie? Is Harry being strained by the management more than they knew? Did Management pressure Harry around stuff?

A shiver runs in Louis body and he felt his blood boiling inside.

He was suddenly angry and sad altogether with the feeling that he had left Harry in a place where he could not really find again. Had he not been there for him out of fear for being hurt when Harry needed him the most?

Louis had never once looked back when Harry made him agree to go on separate ways.

Hell, back then he even smugly watched as Harry desperately went through countless hook ups, , to prove that he's over Louis, knowing that Harry was too attached to him both mentally and physically to let what they had simply go. Back then he had felt too righteous and good to see him struggle for calling it quits. For hurting him  - for hurting them… And with time he had given it a rest thinking that his life must go on, with or without Harry.

He learned to discard his feelings and the moments which they both struggled to ignore. Now looking at it, he could join the dots where Harry was desperately holding to his decision against his feelings to the last night's incident.

He wanted to and had to talk to Harry but he was scared that Harry might push him away this time.

 

 As they walked along the thin passage which led to the open stadium through a double door made of glass, he could hear the singing... the lines of 'Strong' - sung by that deep raspy voice. Without music it sounded deeper and slower. As they grew nearer Louis felt his heart raise again as he realizes the voice sounds hoarse than usual.

They enter the huge open stadium with all of their eyes going to the few figures in the far corner. Harry sat with his back to them on a sound box while his voice rang with a slight echo throughout the stadium.

Liam waved at them from afar as he sang with Harry. George, their trainer was gesturing at his clock as he waved. Three of them walked across. Looking at Harry's maroon tank top from behind Louis wished if the world could freeze a little so he could reach him..

He so badly wanted to talk to Harry but the last thing he wanted was an audience.

 

The singing goes on as the techs get to work.

Louis settles on the stage next to Zayn and glanced at Harry's profile in front of him. His usual features doesn't look much different from any other day apart from a bit of puffiness in the eyes to where Louis sat. He does look a bit pale but his long curly locks which looked slightly wet from washing hid any faults that was eminent as usual. Harry didn't look at any of them or gesture but sang as if in a different zone lost in his own words as he always did.

Louis notices the concerned looks Zayn shot Harry while humming the tune.

Both him and Liam seem to exchange looks while Niall watched three of them curiously. It is all driving Louis to the edge.

The song ends and Liam starts clapping, clearly over cheery for the situation.

"Yeee!!!! One done!"

"Yup", says George adjusting his ear phones. He ticked off his writing pad and looks up. "Shall we go with some music this time, lads? Midnight Memories?... first track?"

"Sure" Liam says as a tech hands rest of them mikes.

Louis looks at Harry again who just sits there playing with his mike in the hand. He wonders whether Harry is avoiding him purposely or whether he is preoccupied with his own thoughts. Or is he just hiding from onlookers…? He does have his very private moments paraded around the net so crudely to everyone to see.

Maybe it is not only him that Harry is ignoring, but all of them.

The music starts and the rocky encore of the midnight memories plays. They all sing as the techs worked. Their time was less so they kept going from one song to another, only stopping for short breaks in-between several songs. With each minute Louis feels more obvious that Harry  is avoiding him. Liam and Zayn tries to act normal (joined by Niall after understanding what they were up to) bringing on their hype but without Louis and Harry it all but feels strained.

Harry only smiles pretending to be interested but Louis could tell that he was in a different mindset. He looks almost determined and serious... Louis does not know what to read from it. He does avoid even so much as looking at Louis' direction, busying himself talking to George or a tech guy whenever the other lads tried to involve Louis in their banters. It makes Louis go all irritated very soon, and after first few songs he completely gives up trying to get attention from Harry. Is he really acting as if whatever happened last night was Louis’ fault?

The last track to be finalized, Little black dress was tension filled when it comes to his and Harry's duet with none of them looking at each other. Zayn and Liam eyes them worriedly and Niall silently. George stops the music in the middle motioning his hand at Harry and Louis to stop.

"Guys, this is not a practice session. Your timings are out" he says looking at both of them irritated. Surely George sensed strain between them. "Stop acting like a bloody married couple not looking at each other. If you have a problem sort it out... again .. from the beginning!!!"

Music starts to play and Louis looks at Harry who gazes back momentarily before turning to his mike in his hand shaking his head.

Harry had such talent to make him, Louis piss angry even after all this time, doesn't he? He thinks smirking to himself bitterly.

 

The second attempt to the song is somewhat a success... maybe because they were paying more attention to the singing or maybe because they both were eager to finish it.

However around 11.30 they were all done... George leaves them hurriedly, telling them that his day was full, not forgetting to spare some glances over Louis and Harry. Harry waves at him with mumbled thanks along with Liam. Tech guys starts the final setups as Harry watches them as if he does not have any intention to move from where he sat. Watching the men intensely, he starts swinging his legs as if everything is just fine.

Louis hops off the stage. He is having enough of Harry's clumsy mood when he knew as day that  Harry is far messed up than he is pretending to be.

 "Shall we get some lunch? I'm starving!!" Niall says rubbing his belly.

"Yeah, me too! And we have to have a little talk before Stacy pulls her crap on the media conference" Liam looks at Zayn who nods.

Louis just stares at them arms crossed. They had surely talked about this whole thing before.

"Yeah... they have surely made up some ridiculous plans by now." Niall sounds bitter. Louis knows Niall hated when Management did that. Well they all did.

"We need to get some answers prepared... genuine ones which won't backfire. Harry?" Liam tries, smoothly. Louis knows they want Harry to be vocal, but that is the one thing he knew Harry would not do. At Least for now…

This is Harry they are talking about... when is he ever vocal about things like this?

Harry just looks at Liam and nods. Then he and calmly returns his gaze to his twiddling fingers, as he was doing since they started taking.

Louis just watches from afar, still leaned to the stage with arms crossed at the chest. Liam doesn't press anymore. Seriously, why is Liam treating Harry as if he is made of glass, talking to him in a smoother voice? Louis thought irritatingly...why could not he just simply ask him what the hell is going on? When did they ever hide behind words trying to get answers? For the sake of the people around them Louis decides to keep his mouth shut for now.

 

 They all go to the empty lunch room with groaning stomachs, helping themselves to food piles. Louis watches as Harry goes for some crappy looking salad and a soup, while helping himself to mince pies. Seriously Harry needs to just eat sometimes, he thinks shaking his head himself without uttering a word.

Liam and Niall keep constructing answers to questions they assume to pop out while Zayn listens, shooting concerned looks at Harry time to time. Harry keeps silent, but he surely is listening to every bit of what they were saying, pretending otherwise.

Louis is speedily losing his cool in front of everything.

"Don't you think it's unfair that most of this jack is pointed to Harry ... nobody in media is going for that bloody woman!!" Niall raises then, with an annoyed tone. "I mean the fans are blasting her, but the media is half ignoring her."

"Yeah, in a way this feels as if it’s planned isn’t it?... we are in the middle of-"

"Guys," says Harry suddenly, his voice thoughtful and slurred as usual.

Others look at him, suddenly all silent, as if they all wanted him to say at least a one word.

Louis could just watch.

Harry twiddles his fingers again as in thought.

“I just....,” he sighs and looks up meeting the concerned gazes. “I'm sorry - I'm sorry that I messed up with Paige and the media thing...I just -”

“You didn't record it and upload it to the net, Harry. No sorrys are needed." says Niall sifting in his seat. Louis knows Niall is not in for bullshit. And right now apologising sounds bullshit.

Harry shakes his head with pressed eyes.

“I could have been more careful” Harry looks at Zayn's concerned face. “I will handle it. I've already talked with the management and...-”

“Only thing Management will do is scapegoat you until it dies down. You need our backing” Niall spats.

''I know, Niall. But it's my _fault_ this happened. And I'll handle it. I just don't want this to be the topic for our tour.”

Harry says somewhat defensively pressing on the word ‘fault’ as if it explained everything. Silence falls in for a moment, mixed with irritation and concern.

“What of the last night, Harry?” Louis asks suddenly, irritation overwhelming him than anything else. “Were those guards your fault too?”

Harry looks at Louis for the first time properly. The greens looks tired, but concerned and irritated at the same time.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that”

"You are... you are sorr..." Louis stammered hitting out his annoyance in sarcasm. "Those pig head thugs tossed me out and almost deadlocked you to the floor. If Liam wasn't there..." Louis laughed waving his hands.

Niall makes a hissing sound raising his eyes. “What?” he is the only one in the dark and Louis knows it is the last thing Niall liked.

Harry does not move his gaze from Louis, but stares at him unblinking,

"It was a mistake..."

“Oh... really which part??!!!” Louis’ tone was sarcastic than he intended.

"I was tired, Louis. I was upset and I got a bit carried away…”

Louis stares at Harry, gripping into his own arms. _Carried away??_ What the absolute fuck!

 

Zayn shakes his head while others stare as well.

“Harry, you don't ... you don't have to pretend with us, man. You don't need to -...” he stops in mid sentence as Harry sighs and leans forward, resting his chin on hands.

“I'm not pretending” Harry said stoically looking straight at them.

“Look, Harry... it's ok if you don't want to talk about this now. We understand. But you need to sort this out, buddy” Zayn says looking at Liam.

Harry shakes his head again almost burying them in his hands.

“Could you please quit playing puppy and tell what exactly happened last night, Harold??! How the fuck did they even know that I was in your room??!” Louis raises his voice earning several warning stares and a 'Louis' in a hiss from Liam.

Harry defensively looked at Louis with thinned lips.

 

But as he tries to say something, the door to lunch room opens. A nervous intern peeped in looking almost scared.

She holds tightly onto a pile of files in her hand. There were several interns working with them in the tour and Louis could not remember her name with his fired up head.

 

“Come in, love.” Liam says as she nervously grips to her files and eyes Harry. “You work here?”

The girl nods her head slightly... “In PR section... I'm an intern”

Liam smiles at her with an effort... “Yeah... I remember. You were assisting Stacy the other day in the charity event, weren’t you?”

She nods her head making her glasses almost skip her nose,

“Yes... eerm… Ms. Willinks asked me-to- pass-a-message... to umm Ha...Harry and-Louis, eem I... she wanted me to inform that Harry and-Louis-are expected-at-Modest!...eeem In-half an hour..”

She blurts out trying to adjust her round spectacles nervously as four pairs of eyes glares at her while a one pair looks away and then down.

“Thanks, love. Can you get us a car ready? Trevor should be free. Talk to Paul. Will wait here until someone comes.” Louis says to her as rest of the boys remain silent.

 

Nodding hastily she exits the room with a glance at Harry. She could have almost sworn that she saw a weighted knowing smile line on the singer’s face as he shook his head looking down.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.. that's that. Bit of a cliff hanger but the next is going to come soon. Please do comment and give me kudos if you like reading more.


	7. Together No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Louis at Modest! meeting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Re-Edit!!

 

**7\. Together No More**

 

Speeding up the car along the road Jimmy looks at the crowds and the paparazzi flocked outside the stadium exit. Half of them must be actually for the concert itself. The boys should be glad for whoever invented tinted glasses for sure...

He shoots a glance at the two boys at the back through the rear mirror. Sat on either side, both of them were silent, like some strangers. In any other day, with the show hype, these two would have acted like energized brats without breaks... fooling around, playing pranks, kicking balls or racing in skateboards and stolen service trucks -  giving the security a run for it.

But since the media breakout yesterday, things had become serious in the house - tensed. The call for the sudden second meeting after yesterday made Jimmy wonder whether Nicky had overplayed the whole thing. And it is a bit strange that they called Tomlinson in as well though... These two are rarely called in together, in his short time in the team, Jimmy had noted. And they almost never hung up together, maintaining somewhat a peculiar politeness between them - Jimmy did found it strange in a way. But well, not gets along - band or no band. These rich kids have some shit inside their heads anyway.

Jimmy looks at the mirror again… at the Styles kid this time. His face looks tiresome and worried. He needed to stop biting that damn lip or it might bleed out which looked like it already did, almost. Tomlinson on the other side looks rather pissed off. Time to time he tries few glances at the other, pursing his lips to a thin line. But Styles’ attention is fixed outside, intentionally perhaps. Seems like the boys had a little clash over the released footage,.. Press would love a photo of this, the two of the band mates looking as if in a strop with each other.

Jimmy knew there was some sort of an incident but it had been all hushed, especially for his level of duty. Well, he should double check with Brad if there’s anything to worry about - though he felt that Brad was not that keen to spill the beans in the morning when he asked. Not that it matters if it has nothing to do with the plans but show business circuses are too entertaining to be let off now, isn’t it? Juicier the better...

Jimmy thinks as Trevor, who was in the passenger seat turns off the radio as the host starts jittering on spicy headlines with words 'exclusive sexStyles'.

 

.........................

 

 

As soon as the car pulls over to the car park, Harry gets down immediately and starts walking to the elevator without waiting for Louis.

"Fucking twat" Louis hisses under his breath. Slamming the door behind him, he hurries after Harry - barely managing to stop the closing doors of the elevator. Louis steps in and glares at Harry who has his face buried in the phone, typing something speedily. Harry had already hit the 5th floor for the meeting room.

"What the hell's gotten to you??!" Louis snaps, trying not lose it at the impossible, stubborn boy.

Harry doesn't respond, but keeps typing. Louis just wants to grab the bloody phone and throw it to the floor. Only he doesn't do it... he might have - some two years back, when they still called themselves boyfriends, partners or whatever. He would have thrown the shitty phone and walked out on him for being such a dick and raging him on.

But Louis is not that anymore…

He is not the easy thinking teenager who said what he thought and did what he said. So he resorts to a not too soft smack at the younger boy's shoulder which makes him stumble back to the wall.

"What the fuck is going on!!" he demands.

Harry simply looks at Louis but at the same moment the elevator doors open with the indication bell, making both of them hesitate for different reasons.

Still eyes on Louis, Harry opens and closes his mouth as if he wants nothing but to swallow his words. Then shaking his head slightly Harry walks out passing Louis in quick strides without a word.

With a seconds delay, Louis follows him more furious than moments before.

“Don't you dare walk away when I'm talking, Harold!” Louis raises his voice as Harry hurries ahead of him. Gritting his teeth, Louis follows him with quick strides along the Modest’s red carpet.

Employees pauses and looks at them sensing the tension.

Skipping two steps in a raw Louis grabs Harry by his shoulder and shoves him to the wall. Onlookers be damned!

“WHA..-"

Louis stops as he starts, looking back at him were Harry's  green deep eyes, filled with irritation stubbornness quite nostalgic for Louis than anything. Second time in a row, Harry's face so close makes him swallow his words. It doesn’t make sense but he could just look back.

"What's going on?" he manages to mumble between being smooth and irritated.

For the briefest moment Harry studies him, green eyes tuning to a cold stare in the end.

“We're not together anymore” he says without an emotion. “I don't have to tell you anything.” Pushing himself away from Louis, he continues towards the glass clad room.

Louis takes a second or two to recover... feeling fray all of a sudden. _What did he just say?? like... What?_ He takes a several seconds to recover _._ But soon he picks himself up and looks around trying to settle to an angry face, lulling the people who must have noticed the encounter to ignore it.

He follows Harry then, who now stands in front of the green tinted office door after knocking. Biting his tongue he stands behind the tall lanky figure Harry had grown into. Louis wanted to punch him square on his face. He knows this is immature and stupid but what the fuck! And ... and how dare he bloody try to mock him? But he's suddenly firing up. He knows that he should not make this to a word match. Not at least here, but;

“Wonder whose fault that is, Harold?”

He whispers mockingly wrapping his words in sarcasm. Harry knocks again without the slightest  hint that he heard Louis even spoke. As Louis tries to say something again, Stacy opens the door, revealing a several familiar and unfamiliar faces behind.

They both hesitate before Harry finally gathers himself up and walks in with a side glance to Louis..  “ _Mine_ ” he says as he goes without a hint of an emotion in his tone again.

Gritting teeth behind his closed lips, Louis follows Harry without bothering to look at Stacy. He hates the woman.

Robert, Harry Magee, Nicko, Steven Brown and two others Louis hadn't met... wow he hates most of them too. Bloody short minded control freaks!! Last they all met like this, alone with this whole pack, he had been assigned to date El and Harry had just took off with tearful eyes while Louis stared between leaving Harry and these pig heads dumbstruck!. It all seemed like ages ago now with so much changed.

Louis follows Harry to the one of the two chairs facing the management heads and sits down with a strange and un-comforting feeling of a De-ja-vu.

 

“Hello, boys!!” Harry Magee starts with his smirk, revealing his yellow teeth. “Glad you could make it since this was urgent.”

Louis almost snorts... the self satisfied bastard. Neither Louis nor Harry returned his smile. Harry rather looked impatient and tired. Hasn't he, since last night though?

“I want to make a request before we start” Harry raises his phased deep voice, eyes fixed on Magee as Stacy comes around and sits in the corner facing them. She looks worried and tensed. Louis steals a glance to his side at Harry.

“I'm the one who made the skip. He doesn't need to be here” Harry says, flatly pointing towards Louis but with eyes fixed at Magee.

“What?? No way…”Louis starts to protest... _what the absolute hell! how the fucking dare he?_

“He doesn't have anything to do with this. It was my fault and you know it”

Know what? What fault?? Bloody.. "WHA...-" Louis felt as if he is going nuts as Magee's sarcastic voice rose up.

"Trying to defend your boyfriend, Harry?"

Louis is so going to throttle Magee right here and now for using that mocking tone and the very words, he almost gets to his feet. But Harry gets better of him.

“He's not my bloody boyfriend. You know that. I don't have a boyfriend!!!' Harry snaps dead glaring. The disgust in Harry's voice is as if he could puke on it. “- and I'm going to take my leave unless you make him leav-”

“No way!! I'm not going to leave !!!! I was called in and if I did anything wrong, I want to know. I want to know what the fuck is going on!!”

Louis raises his voice but Harry doesn't look at him. More so, he completely ignores Louis even spoke. Stacy looks frightened and the rest of them look grave. But Magee's eyes, fixed on Harry, reeks disdain.

Harry shakes his head motioning himself in the chair. “Either he leaves or ... you all can talk to him!!” He says flatly.

“You don't bloody get to throw me around, Harold... don't call shots for me!” Louis doesn't want to talk to Harry in there, let alone mock him in here... especially not in front of these money minded twats _..._ but Harry gives Louis no choice. Harry is trying to bloody throw him out of the meeting he was called in for? When did any of them side with the bloody management to push each other away?! It would be the last thing Louis would let Harry do!

“Fine ... you can leave, Louis” Magee says almost as if Louis asked for it.

“NO WAY!!!”

Louis leans forward, gripping the padded arm of the chair he was sitting. He turns his face to see Harry playing with his fingers, eyes fixed on them... _you wait you little…_

“You called us both in and we came. I'm not leaving until you tell me what you have to-”

“We will call a second meeting if necessary. Since it's the date night we need minimum drama possible”  Magee says in a business tone which makes Louis laugh.

“You dragged him after the rehearsals yesterday and god knows what you did to him because he's bloody turned into a busted dog since yesterday night.... and please -” Louis says in the most mocking tone he could muster, connecting his palms in midway, “- let's not talk about minimizing the drama since we all know that you are the best clown in the business!” .

“Don't step out of your line, Tomlinson. Your sass won't sort the mess he got himself into. The last thing we need is pictures of you two lurking back in the tabloids. Spare us the trouble”

Magee hits on the speaker glaring at both Louis and Harry.

“Send Trevor in. Need him to take Tomlinson to the area and send the car back in a half an hour for Styles.” He bellows to the mike.

Like hell that's going to happen!! Louis starts protesting. This is bloody ridiculous!! “NO WA-”

 

“Louis, Please…” Harry's mumble stops him in a pause.

 

Harry doesn't look at him but just sits almost sagged in his chair. It is a desperate and a tired form of begging... and it was only intended for Louis. Louis hesitates for a second. Is Harry just this desperate for him to leave? To face whatever this is by his own? Fine then, he thinks getting up. If it’s what Harry wants… but no one as hell will escort him out as if he's unable to find his way out.

For the anger he feels,  he pushes the padded chair back and walks out of the room slamming the door before Trevor comes in.

 

 

As soon as he is out, he just breathes hard, starting to phase.

He hadn't gotten this winded for a long time and he feels his ligaments shake from the bones for the temper inside him. He tries to calm himself rubbing his face, wishing he could call El - which is frankly impossible. _Hey, El... sorry I couldn’t call last night. Was a bit busy kissing Harry_ sounded bad enough.

His mind is going haywire,... Harry, bloody security, management, Harry wanting to throw him out, Harry's eyes and feel of those fucking lips... his smooth red lips…

Louis takes a long breath squeezing his eyes. What is he going to tell El? He had kissed Harry for god’s sake... shouldn’t he feel guilty?

Is he guilty?

He should feel guilty, right?

But he does not.

It is like his body was reacting to something that is his own... even after all this time. Harry is his... through and through... and Harry owned Louis right back... at least until he said he did not want Louis any more. Kicked him like a disposable. But ... but that was not how it had felt last night... Harry took him in again - let him in, even for a short time, Harry had let Louis own him...even just for a moment.

Louis knew his Harry... known him from the depth of his heart, though now they acted that they did not.

What the hell is happening? Seriously, what is going on? He did not know anymore.

He could not possibly call El. What the hell is he going to tell her?

He wanted so bad to talk to her and tell her, but he knew how bizarre it sounds even inside of his head. So instead he decided to suck it up and wait until Harry comes out… to ask him, confront him other than anyone else.

He sits down in the waiting area and lets himself wander around his messed up thoughts while trying to listen to the closed up sounds coming inside the office.

There are clearly raised voices but Louis could not make any sense out of any of it. When Trevor shows up to take him back, he outright refuses to leave until Harry comes out. If they want him out of that room, fine! but he won’t leave him here. That is sure as hell. Trevor doesn't argue, perhaps knowing it's useless trying to convince him otherwise.

The meeting seems to go forever though. Out of frustration Louis checks the time from his phone.

2.20 already...Fuck! They are supposed to act hyper and happy within just four hours.

Leaning back to the chair he closes his eyes with a long sigh.

 

................................

 

 

 

If anybody told Louis four years ago that being in show business would tire them out of wits, he would not have believed them.

But looking at Harry, who steps out after half an hour later, he couldn't help thinking how it had become their reality now. Harry, in his age of 20 should not have looked like this, worn and haggard with bags under his tired eyes and stress lines on his forehead. Even his curly locks could not cover the weariness lined in his face. There was an irritated unease even in the way he held himself.

Rubbing his temple as if he was almost nervous walking out, Harry freezes seeing Louis sitting there, waiting.

“Why are you still here?” he slurred flatly, letting his hand fall to his side.

“I'm not leaving without you…” Louis states. When is he going to get that into his too curly, too thick of a head! Harry just sighs, but doesn't argue. He seemed to be through with trying to reason - though, technically he had not given any reasons for his peculiar behaviour to Louis at all.

They walk out in peace for once, with Louis following Harry's slouched, lanky form and Trevor behind both of them. Trevor remains glued to the phone all the way down. Is he getting blasted by Magee because he let Louis stay?

 

Car ride back is much similar to the previous ... with Louis and Harry at the back, Trevor in the passenger seat and Jimmy time to time eyeing Harry curiously through the rear mirror.

Only that Harry’s stance had gotten a bit concerning to Louis. With his head against the tinted glass, Harry just stares out in thought. Hands crossed around his chest, he seem to be quite upset. Louis could tell. Louis doesn't know what had happened but whatever it is, it seem to have made Harry's mood worse. Pushing all the ridicule and awkwardness back, Louis slowly reaches Harry, squeezes his leg - wanting to reach out in someway... to tell him that he will be there no matter what. He lightly pats on the knee as if to comfort him without grace of words.

Harry does not react but nor does he pulls away... so Louis keeps his hand on Harry's knee, hoping it would help him at least a tiny bit.  

Louis must haves dozed off, worn out by lack of sleep last night as well as the events unfolded. He wakes up to a halt and Harry straightening himself next to him... and for a buzz of voices outside.

He looks around slightly irritated. They are back at the stadium of course... but not from the back entrance which they usually uses to escape crowds. They are right at the front gate, surrounded by an army of people, cameras and shoutings. They wouldn't see them from outside but Louis' head goes wild at the screaming, fighting, mad act of people outside.

“What the hell is this?” he asks looking at Trevor and then Jimmy. Jimmy gestures to say he doesn't know while Trevor just opens the door to the shouts and chaos with a glance at Louis.

"Take Louis from behind" he says to Jimmy before  getting down to a craze of a crowd with cameras and flashing, slamming the door shut behind him.

Louis stares at Harry disbelievingly.

Is he really going to do this?

This is like sending a bloody lamb to a  set of hungry hyenas. _Management is sending Harry to a mob_... without guards? With Trevor yes... but that was only one person. Louis finds him more shocked at their prejudice than furious.

He watches with loss for words as Harry simply reaches for his shades and put them on. Not looking at Louis, he sighs.

"Told you to go back."

Harry says, as if it solved anything.

Taking a moment, then he knocks at the car window, signing Trevor who stood outside. Trevor opens the door only half and Harry pushes himself out to hundreds of camera flashes, dozen of mikes and screams, reporters and an utter chaos of fans and paparazzi.

Grabbing Harry by the arm Trevor pushes the door closing it. He, with an effort pushes forward dragging, Harry with him. Head bent, Harry tries to cover his face with his free arm from cameras and equipment that are practically being shoved at his face.

 

Louis watches speechless, as the car starts driving off to the back of the stadium out of the crazed chaos of swarming people as Harry and Trevor disappear in the aggressive mob.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit intense I know. Their relationship is a bit complicating in the story. This part is important to understand the whole story so bear with me. Whoever feels that I am dragging this- I'm really not. And I have not forgotten the kidnap story.


	8. Don't you ever say, I just walked away...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A confrontation and a confession

  

  **6\. Are we strangers or what?**

 

  

_Camera flashes…_

_Screaming voices…_

_Tugging, grabbing and pushing.._.

 

It is all Harry could feel around him.

Mikes or recorders keeps being shoved into his face, hitting him square in his face several times. He feels sickeningly stuck in a middle of swarming people.

Deafening screams and words buzzes around him with a constant ringing.

 

_'How did you enjoy your day with Paige, Harry? Was it a onetime fling?_

_'How does it feel to be in level with pornography, Harry? '_

_'Flash to the camera, Harry!'_

_'Do you realize you have exploited an innocent fandom and turned it to a one sexualized drama?'_

_'How long till the next stripper show?' ..._

_Is this a stunt for publicity?_

_'How are you enjoying sex symbol image, Harry?'_

_'Would you mind loosening some buttons? Nothing we haven’t seen before’_

 

The only constant thing Harry feels is the bit too firm grip of Trever's oversized hand on Harry's arm, pulling him forward through a swarming number of people who kept tugging at almost every part of his body as he is some public property to fiddle with.

His feet gives up several times but there is no space for him even to fall.

Flashes, clicks and unfamiliar faces screaming into his face is all he knew while he was pushed and pulled in every direction.

 

 

..........................................................

 

 

 

As soon as he gets down from the car, Louis runs.

He runs to the front corridors,  to the part where their rooms were. Harry will be coming down to his room after the parade in front of the paps and reporters. He stops in front of his own room and unlocks it, wanting to take his misery out on whatever laying around in his room. Instead, he lingers in the corridors which are dead empty. But Louis could see some of the staff and technicians in the far corner of the other end, gathered up in the small lobby area watching the show out of the heavily guarded glass doors.

Looking at their eager attention filled postures, Louis feels disgusted.

He wishes the other three were there with him but he's sure they had no clue to what is going on. Louis feels too messed up to take his phone out and ring them. He just stares at the lobby from afar, utterly helpless. He _has_ to talk to Harry... he needed to. 

Trevor will use this corridor so they will have to pass Louis anyway... He starts phasing around, impatient.

 

After what seemed like an eternity Harry is lead in, with much worse chaos at the door. Trevor and few others literary pulls him in from the mob outside, one of his arms nearly getting stuck at the door. Swaying a moment in his feet Harry nurses his hand with the other as he hurries his way through the corridor, face down, following Trevor who still had his grip around his arm.

Everyone seem to look at him with concerned eyes... sympathetic gestures. No one reaches though - but just stares as if they _actually_ care.

Trevor, his grip still on Harry's arm, directs him to the corridor towards the rooms... leading him along the passage. "All right, buddy?" he asks when Harry suddenly hesitates midway through, looking forward.

Trevor's eyes follows Harry's, to Louis. He seems to be waiting ahead of them with concern and shock pooling out of his unblinking stare.

For a moment Louis' eyes settles on Trevor...almost begging, but swirling with sort of a determination. There were very few in the crew who has been here long enough to know the friction between the two boys... and Trevor had been there long enough. He knew without much details what went down - and that these two had to work something out before pretend to be happy-go-lucky friends in front of thousands of people in a couple of hours. Trevor releases Harry, slowing down - earning a look of gratitude from the blue eyed boy.

Louis watches Harry as he draws nearer...  his hair looks tousled, even his face is paler. Louis knew Harry should get some rest before the show, but if he let him go now, Harry would pull up his walls again... shutting him out, shutting everyone out. Harry could be the cheekiest and nicest lad to on lookers but he is also defensive, defiant as fuck when a stranger tries to peep in on him. He would not utter a word of explanation even when he is utterly misunderstood. Though he  appears as he always wore his heart on his sleeve, his reality has always been quite the opposite. And the way Harry had been acting with Louis today, Louis could not help wonder is that is what he had become to Harry now... a stranger?

Louis just stares at Harry who avoids his gaze as he walks towards him. Looking at him, Louis knows exactly what he's going to do next. He is going to try and pass him - avoid him, ignore  him ... It is like a curse to their co-existence. Knowing each other so much, too much to pretend otherwise. So Louis stands like a barrier, blocking the way as if threatening to push him in to his open room if needed.

Getting closer, Harry has no option but to slow down and look up at Louis - he still manages to avoid his eyes, settling somewhere around Louis' collarbone - irritation clear in his face.

"Get in." Louis demands, gesturing towards his room. One way or another - Harry is going to talk... even if he did not want to.

Sweeping his gaze from Louis to the floor, Harry walks in to the middle of the room but doesn't turn to face him. Louis follows him behind, slamming the door shut and locking it. Eyes fixed on Harry's slouched back, Louis leans back to the door with a hasty breath. He then throws the keys down to the floor with a sound.

"They'll have to bloody break the door if they want to barge in now." Louis says, slithering his hands to his pockets. He stares.

They have not done this in ages. This one to one talk with just to of them in it. The last time they did was probably the day they broke up. Louis sighs, unable to stop himself. he suddenly feels panic. Who wouldn't? when memories such as theirs' swooped in uninvited. His thoughts swim in around last night, before the security came... before any of it took this turn. The sourness in his heart and mind was too familiar to ignore. Too close to home. It was like a constant burn in his chest, stamped for eternity. Is it same for Harry? He wonders looking at his slouched form and shoulder length hair from the back. **  
** Since morning,  Harry had just run away from Louis, ... pretending nothing happened. What is that he's trying to hide from? seriously? It's not like they haven't been there before... 

“Harry” he calls, with sheer intention of making him talk. He's not going to be running from him anymore. Louis would not let him. No matter how many guards might pile up in front of his room, Harry is going to talk to him.

With his back still turned to Louis, Harry doesn't move an inch from his spot.

"What do you want?"  Harry asks, voice deep and calm as usual.

Louis could feel the cracks underneath the stubbornly calm voice though. He could feel the shakiness.

And no … Louis does not want this, this strained and masked up Harry who would try to take the upper hand because otherwise he would snap. This is what Harry always does when he did not want to talk, act as if he had control - as if he is in control. Louis has a bloody degree on most of Harry's traits to be fooled.

"What is going on with you, Harry?" he asks as Harry finally turns to face him.

“I’m fine” 

Harry nearly snaps. His face looks tired, even battered...but on top of it all he looks irritated -  his dark eyebrows angling to set an angry pout in a way Louis knows too well.

“Oh yeah?” Louise purses his lips tight and binds his hands upon his chest almost gripping into his own biceps. “Brilliant” he says mockingly.

"Show is just hours away, Louis. I’m not doing this with you right now." and it is Harry's last trump card to get out.

Louis nearly laughs.

"Is that all you got, Harold? They throw you into a bloody mob and what? you are _fi-ne_ with it?" he says with air quotes. "You just want to run a way from this… this, I bloody don’t even know what it is you are trying to run away from!" he steps forward trying to close the space between them.

Shaking his head, Harry tries to walk around him and reach the door but Louis pushes him to the wall, slamming his back to the solid with a thud.

"Why the fuck are you avoiding me!!!" Louis shouts frustrated, just inches away from the face.

Harry stares at him blankly. But he doesn't struggle or try pry his hand away from Louis' grip on his wrist, trapped to the door next to his head, surrendering to him like in a habit. Up this close, Louis could hardly breathe...

In a sort of a stunned silence, he watches Harry, the way his breathing increases and his lips tremble ever so slightly… he stares, taking in the features he once knew as same as his own reflection. Once too young and too childish face had now grown angular with a more prominent jawline and cheekbones. Large green eyes, plush lips and flaring nose, there is a sort of a delicateness all together still but the sharpness in his face was quite endearing.

For the second time within twenty four hours Louis couldn't help but stare. It is like getting hauled back in to an addiction. A desire he had been careful to avoid for long. But at the moment, he couldn't help it. Yes... they have been right in front of each other almost everyday and every night. It was not as if they could cut each other out of their thoughts. Every now and then there had always been a glitch... For Louis, it's just that he had learnt to live away from him, without him... at least had gotten better at it. He knew even El knew that... deep down. But what Louis was not sure of was what he is to Harry anymore -with the way he had been acting. Harry had not been the most direct person even then, but he could not hide what he felt for Louis - he could not hide it for the life of him even after sometime to their break up.  Is that why he's trying to hide away now?

 **  
** Lost in thoughts, absentmindedly Louis traces his hand over the soft curls that had grown to its longest length yet, another habit that Louis had long forgotten... or urged to forget. But then, Harry snatches Louis’ wrist  with his free hand and removes it away from him... still not making any attempt to free his other hand .

"Don’t ..., please" he says in a morbid tone, looking away from Louis.

Louis takes few steps back both his hands raised as if he did total wrong by touching him. Swallowing deep, Harry just runs his slightly shaking hand through his hair uneasily almost gripping at it. Louis pretends that he does not notice.

 "I'm sorry", Harry mumbles but Louis is not sure what for.  "I've been in shits lately and ... I just..." Harry breathed as if he is almost panting. He pressed his hand over his chest as if struggling to breath, leaning back to the wall. He looks even more worn out as he looks at Louis. "I'm sorry if I edged you... I'm just so tired... I- "

"Why did you kick me out of the meeting today, Harold?" Louis asks his voice light, he takes a step forwards the agitated boy.

"Wha -"

"You wanted me out of that meeting today, why?"

With a raising heart, Harry looks at the demanding blue eyes in front of him. When did it become so hard for him to talk with Louis? to this one person who he once could tell anything, could trust with his life? To his utter horror he finds him falling to pieces again. After totally losing it yesterday in front of Liam and Zayn, and of course Gems... he had so carefully wrapped himself around his thoughts in the morning. But it is all crumbling down again, and he is NOT doing it in front of Louis the least of all.

 

“It's about my contract. It's between me and them” he does not want to sound defensive but he knows he is acting totally stupid in front of the one person who could read him like an open book.

Louis does not betray any emotion though but Harry knows he got caught off guard.

“What is so different about your contract to my one or Zayn's one prey tell me. What is it so secretive that you wanted to cut me in front of those bloody pigs?”

Harry just wipes his itchy eyes. And no, he does not want to talk about this... he had not wanted to since the beginning - not with Louis for the least. He does not want a recap on his choices or pieces of past which Louis was trying to flash on him demanding explanations. He is physically and mentally too tired to face it all at this moment. But he knows that he is falling into Louis' trap. He could never compete with this sassy, blue eyed boy.

 

Louis stares at Harry, at his tired but annoyed features. Why isn't Harry freaking furious that he had been thrown down to a bloody paparazzi disco. Instead, Harry looks as if he is irritated with Louis for asking a simple question…

“They SENT you to a bloody freaking mob!!! almost on your own when paps and media are going crazy!!! Was that in your personalized contract too? That you are to play the show horse when they ask you to? What are you now ... their own boy toy or something?.. What the fuck, Harry!?”

Harry just looks down wanting to just pick up the keys from the floor and unlock himself out of Louis. But he knows that Louis won't let him. And Harry is too tired to fight.

 

Louis watches Harry, his silent and strained form. How long has Harry been like this? is it just the leaked photos? With everything that happened from yesterday, Louis couldn't really say. Had he been like this for months, or longer?? Did they all fail to notice?

After their break up, both him and Harry went through some rough patches and Louis did look from afar at the drastic change in Harry's persona, from open, quirky, cheeky and happy to reserved and planned. Of course he did make himself available for anyone that looked in his way but he was still more tolerant and played _'the nice guy'_ better than any of them.

Harry was still unpredictably quirky in his own way but beyond all, he had become distant, contained in his ways, gradually. All along, Louis thought it's Harry's way of facing the media's undying interest on his sexuality, and a part of their fandom eagerly believing and pushing that Larry Stylinson was real. For something that there was and not anymore, Louis could hardly be tolerant about the Larry rumors. He lashed out when he got too tired of it... but Harry, Harry had always seemed so unaffected about it, unaffected to the point of Louis' irritation and hurt to begin with.

But with everything happened since yesterday, Louis could not help but imagine an absurd meaning behind it all.

 

"Just… did they … did they push you to break up with me?"

Louis suddenly asks ahead of him. Harry just stares at him like he’s crazy for a moment before starting to laugh humorously as if he could not help it. He stops though, noticing Louis’ blank face and stares calculatingly with laugh glossed eyes.

“We are not together to break up, Louis”

“You know what I meant" Louis says gritting his teeth. 

Harry chuckles again as amused, rubbing his mouth to cover it up. It irritates Louis.

“You. Want to talk about this. _Now_...?" Harry says then, his tone flat. As if it's the most ridicules thing he was asked the all day. “It’s been two years”

“It's not two years-”

“It is two years and I'm... I'm done moping around, alright? So you don't have to pretend to care”

“Y _ou_ said you want out! _you_ broke it off!!!... don't you dare try to put it on me!- " Louis raises his voice suddenly without even realizing it, pointing at the tall curly haired boy who just stare at him. "- and you know what? with all this shit now, I don't bloody know even if it was you really. I just have to scrape through the dark because you don't bloody open your **goddamn mouth**!!!"

Harry removes himself from the door without a word. He walks to the unmade bed and sits looking down at his hands as if he suddenly found them interesting.

Louis waits patiently for to Harry to say something, trying not to shoot the gun in the wrong direction. Memories flashes in front of him of that agonizing moment Harry point blank told him to let go... that it was over, that he had absolutely enough - that they should focus more on the band and their careers and that they will be wasting energy upon something that can never be... He remembers dreading that moment so much, having felt it coming for months - though he didn't know until the last moment what excuse Harry would put in front to break it off. But of course in the end, Louis had given him enough reasons himself… ones which Louis could hardly deny...

It was a time everything about them went deep into pit... and management lurking around them, fussing over everything only made their clashes worse. Louis for sometime _wanted_ to believe that it was management who pushed Harry to say the things he did, out of desperation - even though he knew it is absurd to think with what truly happened between them. Perhaps it was easier that way to believe that Harry is going to come back to him sooner than later... and the fact that them breaking up was a bloody joke. But it never happened. Harry never came back to him...

But looking at it all now though, he could not help rethinking... _did the management really  play any hand in it??_

 "Harold?"

He calls, tone softer this time... he steps closer to Harry's sitting form. "Harold, _you_ broke us off. You said... - is there anything …? if- if you want to tell me anything -"

Harry rubs on his face not looking up as if Louis' voice was the last thing he wants to hear. His edginess, uneasiness makes Louis just stare. He watches as Harry sighs in the end, eyes fixed on the floor.

"We're in different lives now," Harry says thoughtfully, without looking up; his voice sounds too calm, too deep, "I don't think we can go back, it's - it's not the same anymore."

Louis keeps staring. "Aren't we in the same fucking band?" he blurts out before himself.

Louis did not want to sound pathetic but... but , is Harry somehow rejecting him even he did not offer anything directly? Last night, in those re-lived few moments.... not only Harry not reject him, but he had kissed him back. He held onto Louis like his life depended on it... is he flipping it on him now? It felt like a punch to gut for some reason suddenly, to be dismissed in such a matter-of-fact manner. He had never been good at taking rejection - not from Harry for sure.

Harry shakes his head. “It's not... that's not what I meant. I'm saying tha-” he mumbles but Louis cuts him off,

“You think I want to get into a hide and seek game with you again?" Louis asks mockingly as Harry straightens slightly. " -and let you make me chase you around like some desperate maniac to be kicked out in the end. Thanks but no thanks. And you know what? At least El doesn't drive me crazy with all the shadiness. I just want to know what the hell happened because I feel this is partly something to do with me as well!"

Louis does not want to feel satisfied as Harry looks up at him like a kicked pup. _Well he asked for it, didn't he?_  Louis binds his hands on his chest meeting the green eyes, Trying not to feel bad. They just hold the gaze, staring at each other with a strange familiarity poking at both of them.

“Did Modest push you up to break up with me or not?' he asks after silence starts to drag on. He does not want a repeat of last night with the danger of staring at each other again. He did not trust himself with Harry. He could not.

But Harry looks down with a sigh and takes good few minutes before he answers almost in a morbid, deathlike tone.

“What do you think? They held me at a gunpoint and threatened me to sign a contract to break up with you?” he huffs almost lazily, finding it’s his job to straighten the bedspread which Louis never bothered to make . “Don’t you like a good bit of drama” he mumbles under his tone with a smirk.

“Why are you putting this bloody act, Harold?”

Irritation is simply threatening to consume him. Louis could never put up with Harry's sarcasm, specifically when it's directed to him. But right now he was trying his best not to get carried away. But patience was never his strongest virtues.

Harry just shakes his head with a bitter smile, not looking at Louis and it drives him pass the line of his tolerance.

“You just love to play the victim don't you?" Louis scorns, "You edge all of us to worry sick and then act as if we are thick stupid even to ask you what's wrong.” Harry smirks and it irritates Louis more.

“- funny you call _me_ a drama queen after all.” He hisses bending close to the curly haired boy who is avoiding looking at him at all costs. He feels like gripping Harry's shoulders and shaking it until the fake smirk fell off him. “You know what? never mind...-” Louis says in the end, taking a step back his voice stern, “keep whatever you want to, but I want to know why the hell security kicked me out yesterday like I'm a bloody junkie and why _you_ kicked me out of today's meeting like I'm some irrelevant scum!.. take all the time you need! I don't fucking care!! but I have a right to know!!!!”

“I don't want to talk about it” Harry says simply and stubbornly finally looking up at Louis.

“The FUCK YOU DO, Harold!!! don't be a bloody-”

“You want to know why I really broke up with you, Louis?!” Harry stands up suddenly, his tired face peeling red hurt. “Do you even _want_ to know?..” His voice is raises for the first time, cutting off his slurred lethargy and tiresomeness.

Louis binds his arms on his chest and tries to look subtle. This should be good...

“You were bloody choking me out like I was this pathetic kid who knew nothing about anything - All the bloody rumors and all the bloody pressure, I tried so hard to cope up with everything... from management to media, friends to everything else, but all you did was take all your frustration out of me. You suffocated me... until I was fucking _mis-erable_!!"

He rages but his voice cracks in the end. His nose is already runny and eyes too moist. But he did not seem to care anymore. He wiped away his eyes and ran his hands again through his hair, phasing uneasily.

“-and you left me miserable!! It was always about what you felt and how you wanted it! You were too paranoid to see that I was loosing it as well!! You just wanted everything under you and everything I did was some bloody shit of a mistake to you”

“Harry"

“Don't you Harry me, Louis. And yes... I signed the fucking contract! I had no reason not to... because there was nothing to convince me otherwise. All you did was pushing me around. I had no one when they told me that I'm dragging everything down with us being bloody _fags_! I had no one!!”

 

Louis could just watch. And it is not anger that reached Harry's eyes as much as he wanted Louis to believe it was... it was sorrow and hurt. Louis could see right through it. Oh Louis can surely remember their fights in the end... as hurtful as they were to recall. He could vividly recall how possessive and jealous he became towards Harry when he felt he was losing him. He sure did try to hold on tightly... maybe a bit too tightly, but partly was it not Harry's fault? He would not have been that intrigued if Harry didn't start parading around Nick bloody Grimshaw and clingy Douglas Booth and the genius Ben Winston... Louis almost laughs as his thoughts brought out the bloody names which made him want to punch something to pieces.

“I would not have been that frustrated if you didn't act like a bloody horny teenager with Douglas and Nick, .. if that's what you are talking about”.

“He was a friend Louis" Harry tries to sound calm, and Louis hisses at that, “He was just a friend, until you started pushing me around him misreading everythi-”

“Friend??! A friend?” Louis sneers. “A friend who wanted nothing but to get into your pants you mean... and oh wait -" Louis lines a mocking face to which Harry looks back at him without any emotion ",-he did get into your pants, didn't he?"

Louis regrets his very words the moment he lets them out. Harry stares at him blankly and wordlessly as Louis presses his lips regretfully. “I'm sorry... that was .. umm... I'm sorry” he says stealing a glance at Harry who just stands in front of him.

Douglas is a bitter topic to Louis. Even now, given they constantly met him in various friend circles and awards, functions and what not, he is someone Louis could hardly forgive. Louis' dislike for Douglas Booth was a mutual understanding for the boys. For Louis, it was Douglas who turned his and Harry's lives to a total chaos two years back... together with Nick and bit of fuelling from Ben. Everyone knew that the douche had it for Harry, though Harry had obliviously considered him a friend. 

He could still remember that cursed day in the club... the day that finally cracked them to pieces.

_They had fought and had been at each others' toes even before getting to the club with everyone. Harry had been too piss drunk to realize that his flirting with Douglas to get back at Louis was going too far. Douglas had apologized to Harry over and over for getting carried away after, and Harry, being the person who he is had forgiven him with time and moved on to call him a friend,... but it was and is the last thing Louis could do even after their break up. Knowing that Douglas had a piece of Harry snapped something inside Louis. And he made a mess out of all of it on top of the mess Harry made, ignoring what Harry had gone through. He felt betrayed and hurt out of wits that he forgot that Harry had, in a way been a victim. Deep down Louis had always blamed himself for leaving Harry that day to get mad drunk after yet another fight, to be pampered and consoled by the two people he knew would do anything to seduce Harry,... even with the other boys around._

He left Harry there just to prove a point, but it just blasted back at both of them.

He could never admit it then. That it was partly his fault for leaving an angry, drunk Harry to get comfortable with Douglas, who would have done anything to seduce him. Louis could not fathom the fact Harry forgave the douche afterwards for what he did. And he still did not know how to feel now when he saw Harry near Douglas Nick or Ben, joking around arm to arm as nothing ever happened while he had to pretend to be a stranger in Harry's life. Douglas took advantage of their unsteady relationship and Harry's vulnerability. And he could never ever forget or forgive Douglas for that, no matter what Harry did.

 

Harry kept staring at Louis almost as numb as Louis spaced off. Even after two years Louis could not believe the incident was lurking in to haunt him… like a bitter taste he could not spit out.

"I'm sorry" He repeats.

Harry rubs his palm on his bitten lips, turning away. "Don't fret. I've had worse from you."

Louis was not ready for that... though he should have with his previous dig. But doesn't mean it was less hard to hear something like that from Harry - though he had every right to. All he could do was sigh - trying to steer away from a guilt he had made himself almost forget.

“Is this how we are going to do this then?...picking on things where we left?”

“Do What, Louis?” Harry snaps point blank, turning to Louis again. “We've practically avoided each other for two years like plague. There's nothing there to pick up from where we left it. I'm sorry if I gave you a different impression yesterday and believe me it won't happen again. I won't let you bloody blame me for spoiling your perfect little love story.”

“Don't drag El into this... she was the only one who kept me sane when you were fucking around trying to prove god knows who that you are fabulously having fun with your single life! so don't you dare snap at her-”

"Yeah? Wonder why I had to find ways to cope after breaking a three year relationship - didn't take that long for you two to hit it off. All the time you spent lurking around hotels and cafes must have paid off. But glad to see you standing by her. Something I never got.  But I was just a convenient fuck then, wasn't I? Something young enough for you to have your way until I needed my own space."

"Take that fucking back." Louis says dangerously. "You and I both know that's a fucking lie!!" Of all the things Harry could hit him with, this is what he decides to say. They both  knew that was the least of truth. "I fucking loved you!! I was scared to lose you. I was scared that you would quit me... And funnily enough, that's exactly what you did. You dropped me and started gallivanting with your gang of hipsters like it was the best thing that ever happened."

“I WAS UNDER A CONTRACT!” Harry raises his voice gripping his own shirt neck with whitened knuckles.

Louis laughs at that as Harry glares at him daringly. But this time Louis returns the gaze harshly.

“Sure.. but funnily I doubt your little contract tells you to throw yourself at anyone that can walk and fuck everyone you meet until it made to the media like some desperate man whore! Check out your new footage. You look like a downright champ at it without your kit!"

 

Harry stares back for a moment wordlessly at Louis. He runs his hand through his hair and grips at them with a blanking expression. But his strained brow and glossing eyes gives him away utterly. He looks away rubbing his jaw and steps away from Louis. When he gazes back at Louis, he looks a downright miserable .

“You are right you know," Harry says after letting his hands down with a sigh, “You are better off with Eleanor...she's a... she's a good girl.”

Harry's tone is numb but it sounds sorrowful than anything else. Louis could just stare at the green eyes filled with weariness. Even then they looked perfect. His eyes always looks perfect ... innocent and intense at the same time, even without trying... even when he was angry or unhappy. He could just blind someone by just staring at them.

“I'm just not in the right mind -” Harry slurs biting his lower lip and looking down again.

Something in Harry's voice hits at Louis... maybe a longing or maybe a pleading to understand... because he didn't have words to speak out being silent for this long. Flashes of Harry breaking down yesterday played in front of his eyes like a film, the cries were almost ringing inside his head again. Louis wanted to know with uttermost desperation what was going on. What exactly the management had made Harry agree into.

And deep down he feels he already knows answers to all these... even with voids of reasons and explanations. _Under the contract_... Harry had thrown to the floor, twice. And there it was for Louis to pick it up.

After few moments of an elephant sized silence, Harry walks to the door, shoulders hunched and arms slumped. He picks up the keys from the floor where Louis had thrown them earlier.

Louis just watches as he pushes the keys  in to the keyhole almost in slow motion.

“Harry…”

He could see Harry gripping the keys with a strain from the behind.

“Look at me....” Louis says reaching Harry who just stood facing the door in silence. “Look at me, please”

Suddenly Harry let out a small mirthless chuckle, still turned away from Louis... He leans his head to the door, pressing his forehead on the solid wood.

“Four times..” He mumbles in a weary tone. Louis takes a step near Harry until he is right behind him.

"What?" Louis asks aimlessly, almost considering pressing his body to Harry's, resting his hands on hips... as he always did back then, but Harry chuckles again bitterly - distracting him from the nostalgia.

“Been called a whore four times since yesterday... by people I- I thought...that mattered I guess” he mumbles with heavy breaths, “Didn't count the show mob I just walked down to... lost the count there.”

Louis hesitates, “I didn't mean -”

Harry chuckles again, more like hisses bitterly, “Don't worry ... I'm getting used to it…”

“I'm sorry” Louis whispers putting his hand on Harry's shoulder from behind clutching slightly. Harry sighs further leaning to the door, his fingers still gripping at the key hooked to the lock.

“I'm just tired....” He says with a sigh- shaking his head, “The band, management, media, .. my bloody image..-” he chuckles again as Louis tightens his grip. “I'm... I ...I try to live up to it but it... it feels like I'm a downright lie in front of it all…-”

Harry sounds hollow and totally spent, as if it was taking everything in him to speak out to Louis, and Louis was out of words to say anything to Harry's confession,

“I'm fucking tired of it all ... just feel like I'm losing it...all over again... signed it for nothing.” Harry exhales deeply. “Just... just feel sick ...of them still throwing you at m -..”

Harry slightly gasps and turns the key, unlocking the door as if he want to run away but Louis' hold on him doesn't waver. There is a breathing silence where they both just stood.

_Signed it for nothing..??? does that mean...? did they force Harry to sign something regarding them? is that what Harry was trying to say?_

Louis' head was spinning.

How? When? Had Harry been lying to him when he said he wanted to quit? Was that it? Had he been fed a downright lie to makes sure he stayed out of Harry's life?... though he had been suspecting that much, it did not make it any easier to accept that two years of his life had been based upon it. How much did El know about this. Was she a part of it too? Had she been lying to him?

“What did they make you sign, Harry?”

Louis' voice comes out calm yet inside he feels lightheaded and nauseous. He grips on the base of Harry's neck knowing it must hurt. His hand shakes with the tightness of the grip but Harry didn't make a move to protest.

"Harry." his voice almost pleading when it comes out...

 

And Harry just sighs, turning the handle and opening the door.

“Nothing much... Just crap about some things I can and can't do and using necessary actions if I cross my lines... They can't do anything than suing me off. Don't worry about it... I've lived with it for two years.”

Without a glance back, Harry walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.

 

Louis lets him...

 

 


	9. Things In Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse from the past... Liam, Zayn and Niall meets Paul - and some other things in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regarding the timelines mentioned in this story, please note I started writing this story in January 2015. So when I say present day it means the beginning of 2015. Sorry for the delay.

 

**8\. Things in Motion...**

 

_**2013 January**  
_

 

_"Lou, please"_

_He tries as his phone  starts vibrating again. He grips on his shoulder bag, wanting something to hold on to, wanting nothing but to ignore the call. He knows it's Paul, urging that it's time to go._

_"_ _Lou" his voice sounds small and sad, even to himself._

_But Louis does not turn. Twiddling the cigarette between fingers, he stays leaned out of the window with his back to Harry. The room was slightly hazy with the smoke and Louis knows how Harry hates it when he smoked inside._

_"Please - say something...'" Harry's voice sounds desperate. He sniffs, wishing he could just hold it up without tearing. He urges his eyes to stay dry.  
_

_"What's there to say?'" Louis asks unintentionally with a weary sigh. "You are away for a week... I'll be here and when you are back everything will be freaking fine."  His voice comes in a monotone, cold and emotionless. He does not bother turning to face the younger boy at the door._

_Harry takes a breath and it comes out almost like a whimper._ _He does not know what to do anymore._

__He had begged Louis to forgive him practically on his knees._ _

__He had waited Louis to be angry - furious and  to scream at him with a big fat "I told you so" but it never came. They had not dragged any of their fights more than three to four days before... not that they couldn't, just that they were less privileged. One of them would always give in and make the amends because in the end - with their kind of relationship - they could not afford to snap at each other every now and then, given the blinding flashes of limelight and their game of hide and seek with the world._ _

_And no, this time is was not exactly a fight, ... it was all on Harry this time, his own damn fault - And with everything he is, he was desperate ... desperate , for Louis to forgive him. But he won't... Harry knew he won't and it was tearing him to pieces -just the same way he tore Louis to pieces._

_Tore him_ _with something so.. unbearably stupid.  
_

_It all felt like a smoky haze of a bad nightmare now, which he was desperately trying to wake up from. His argument with Louis, drinking and getting pissed, feeling  as if he was floating, lights in everywhere, smoke, lips and touches, rhythm, hands grips -_

_...Sound of Liam Zayn and Louis fighting as he pathetically sobbed in to the couch as Niall  stroked his messed up hair ... "What, you want me to go and punch that fucker when he went after him bloody asking for it??!!!" Louis had screamed his head off pointing at Harry's prone form on the couch -  Harry wipes away the panic from  his face remembering that night._

___He did not know why he agreed to go to the club that day after the that stupid  fight with Lou, and why he did not follow Lou out when he left the club seeing Nick and Douglas there... Why did he drink so much and why did he decide he could get back at Louis for leaving him by hanging around with Douglas? What did he have to prove? Emptying glass after glass and getting pissed drunk, he could just remember being lead in to the dance floor - He had seen Niall and Zayn somewhere, dancing or DJ-ing? It's just Nick and Douglas he's been dancing with. so he had felt safe enough to just let go. He could barley remember the sneaking drunk hands, his own irritation for Louis' ridiculous assumptions about his friends and swinging to the rhythm - the next thing he remember was being pushed against something solid, being kissed. He had just responded to the impulse... only to realize when it was far too late, and he had been far too uncoordinated and drunk to really protest when he felt hands unbuttoning his cloths...  why - why did he let Douglas ... - why?_ _ _

_Liam, Zayn and Niall had tried to console him without taking a side between them. Well how could they?... when everything was practically Harry's fault? It has been a week and he was still trying to come in to terms with what he did._

_His fucking drunken mistakes._

 

_But now after a week of hysteria and constant muteness from Louis' side, Harry is being shipped off to LA for couple of writing sessions and for a vacation with Taylor. He won't be coming back to London until a little more than a week. Is he supposed to leave like this?... while Louis is refusing to look at his face?_

_Phone vibrates again and Harry just wants to throw it off._

_"_ _You planning to miss the fucking flight?" Louis snaps in his high pitched edged voice, still not looking - and it makes everything even worse._

_A sob escapes him even before he takes a breath._

_"_ _I'm sorry" Harry says for what it feels like for the millionth of time within the week, his voice choking._

_Louis just snorts._

_Flipping out the half burnt smoke stick out of the window, he strides to the bathroom without sparing a gaze up and slams the door behind him. Harry  winces at the sound as if it slapped his own cheek._

_Alone, he just stands by the door, digging his fingers and gripping at his own neck... biting back the threatening tears. He hears the Louis slamming something inside and swearing out loud before he turns and leaves, sorrow and guilt punching him at the gut._

 

_He gets in to the car and let Paul close the door behind as steady rains pour down from the gloomy sky._

_Paul does utter a word regarding Harry's lateness nor comment on his distressed face which Harry felt more than grateful about. The car drives through the pouring rain and damp roads to the Heathrow airport to get him to a plane which he wished that would crash with him in it. '1D's Styles dies in a plane crash' will catch on the headlines, he imagines stubbornly... would Louis at least forgive him then? he thinks naively._

_Watching the drops of water constantly hit the car window, he wishes if he could just make the feeling of drowning disappear, but it creeps above his neck now and he is sure he's soon going to choke._

_His dry eyes were stinging in corners as he watches rain drops hit the glass with speed, trickling down aimlessly afterwards.  
_

 

.....

 

 

 

 

 

**_January 2015 / present day_ **

 

" _Unbelievable_... "

Zayn repeats tapping his fingers on the wooden table he is sitting on. "This is fucking absurd and absolutely insane... it's.. it's - " he sighs not sure what to say anymore. Leaning on his knees, he shakes his head. Liam just stares at Paul without a word while Niall sat with hands bound on his chest looking as he wanted to smash something.

All three of them are in Paul's office. The first thing they did after Louis and Harry was sent to Modest was to confront Paul, desperate to know what he knew or had to say about the whole fiasco last night.

"It was his choice, guys. He signed it. That's as much as I know about it"

Paul says as if it explained everything, though Liam felt there was a twinge of regret in it... or some guilt.

 

Paul had told them how around two years back Management had reconstructed Harry's contract to be the front media man for the band, constantly being available for any media upfront regardless personal matters. Which in simple means said that all his moves will be under the consent of the management and PR, and he has to comply for any media show dance arranged, regardless his judgment, opinions or schedules. The contract had given control over almost every aspect in Harry's life including relationships, friendships, acquaintances and whereabouts; giving Modest the full permission in monitoring and directing all his moves and of course his image.

All of them knew Harry's upfront role for the band and even joked about it most of the time, pointing that his part time job is to attend parties and facing celebrities, making lame news about his shoes, fedora hats, hots and catches. But they thought of it as something naturally came from Harry, which their Management used to prop up the fandom... not as an obligation. But after what Paul had to spill, it seemed Harry's movements had been heavily boxed with less space for him to move...

 

"You know how ridicules this sounds, Paul? D' ya think Harry want this sort of a scripted drama like some blonde? " Niall snaps to the silence, his voice in a angry trail. "I mean surveillance?... did he really, actually agree to let them watch him? I know we all have door cams but this is absolutely insane!!'

"That's over stepping privacy, truth to be told" adds Liam shaking his head... it really seemed bizarre that Harry even agreed to it. What was he thinking?

Paul sighs, "It is for safety... for the teams to know whose coming in and out with him... and umm ... maybe for PR purposes. If they ever used footages, it was for inner scoops... nothing serious. Cameras were never in private areas. PR does below the line publicity and you all know that. Besides Harry knew there's a camera there."

"What, are you saying he did this on purpose? taking Louis in?" Zayn shoots with murder in his eyes."Even if he did, Modest has no right to pry ... watch them like that. They were together once, no matter management liked it or not. Any of it doesn't justify Harry being fucking monitored that way! It's not for safety!! It's a bloody lie if you are even calming that. We are not loons, Paul. You and I both know Harry sneaked out with a fair share of dudes before, they can't not know that if they were monitoring him. But when it happens to be Louis this one time, they suddenly come barging in? There's something else bloody wrong here. And you better tell us or I'm seconds away from calling Stacy or Magee. "

Paul bites his lip and sighs, clearly not happy about the idea of them calling and inquiring about Harry's contract. Were these confidential information that none of them apart from Harry knew? None of them liked the hesitant look Paul is sporting.

Paul crosses his arms on his chest.

"You all know that the management was not in favour of Harry's involvement with Louis," his says almost carefully as if he was telling them something he rather not. "They wanted to keep it out of the picture... but the rumors caught up and Harry and Louis were in the middle of it. And when things got out of hand as you all know, that concerned many of them. They made some choices but most of them didn't trust Harry to his word ...thought he was a bit reckless with Louis' input.  I guess they needed reassurance... Not necessarily to- to- "

 "Reassurance? for what? and what choices, Paul?" Liam could hardly believe what he was hearing as same as the other two, who just gaped at the man wordlessly.

"It was more like if you do this, we'll know kind of a thing. It's not prying - Harry was ok with it" Paul says almost if he was diverting the topic that slipped.

"What are you even saying? What choices?" Liam hits back again.

Paul seems to be at extreme unease to say another word as he looks back at them calculatingly. "I'm not sure it's a good idea to -"

 " They made him break it off didn't they?" Liam blurts out his eyes wide on Paul. "Does... does Louis know about this?"

Paul just unfolds his arms and sweeps them to his trouser pockets with a subtle stare.

"No he doesn't!...For god's sake, Paul!!" Zayn spats out.

Zayn of all of them knew how hard Louis struggled to come in to terms with Harry breaking it off. He knew how hard Louis fell when it ended, no matter how shaky the things were at the end between Louis and Harry. When Louis fell hard, Zayn was there to pick up the pieces. All pissed drunk nights, hysterical cries and furious outbursts... he was the one to put Louis to bed each of those nights. 

Not that any of them took sides, of course they couldn't, because Harry had more than enough reasons to walk away... with how intimidating and possessive Louis was of him when it all became a bit crowded and much of a hide and seek game with heavy closeting.

And things happened were out of their control.

With Douglas... Harry befriending Grimshaw,- Grimshaw's loose mouth, Louis and Harry's arguments and disagreements, Elenore, Louis insecurities and Harry's over pouring sensitivity and defensiveness ... there were too many things around.

But in the other side of it all, Harry practically lived off Louis' character and persona in the beginning of their stardom. And Harry was practically Louis' baby. They were inseparable and fueled each other in a way all of them inwardly envied. And everybody apart from the management loved them for it. No matter what went around or how much they fought, they wanted each other like day needed light. They all knew that, seen that.

Yes, Louis is a hot head. And his temper only matched Harry's over pouring kindness and quirkiness. Louis was fiercely jealous about Harry, but Harry weirdly enjoyed that attention, even with all the fights - until it all went down south. 

But if given a free choice, would Harry had walked away from Louis? Would he ever consider breakup as an option if things went any different? Given what he saw yesterday, Zayn hardly doubted he would have...

 

"Does anybody apart from the Management know about this? What about Simon?"

Paul remains silent, slowly looking at the floor.

"What now? did he agree with it?"

'"I think he's the one who suggested it - as much as I know."

Liam and Niall both stares at his with wide eyes while Zayn just hisses a bitter smile.

"Simon came up with the idea for Harry to sign a contract which made him a bloody bitch boy to the Modest? Now why doesn't that surprise me?" Zayn mumbles rubbing at his mouth as speaking to himself.

Liam shakes his head still unbelievingly. "He was barely eighteen when he sighed it... he was a kid, Paul!!"

Paul sighs. "I know this is some what a shock to you , guys.. but what's done is done. He was in legal age and he _signed_ the contract.. for what reasons I don't know. But he did and he handled it for this long -"

"You didn't see him last night, he fucking lost it...- " Liam trails off as Paul silently looks at him directly. _Of course Paul had seen_. They have cameras in the bloody room!.

"-it's not the first time he lost it like that isn't it?" Liam asks quietly and tiredly.

Paul just stares at him blankly and Liam could feel the tiresomeness in the stare. Is this why Harry is closer to Paul... because he knew what went on? How many times had Paul found Harry all wounded up like yesterday? and how many times did he rush in to comfort?...

"It was difficult for him at the beginning, I was worried too at the beginning", Paul says with a sigh ",but he got better..."

"You mean he bottled it up better!" Zayn says biting in to his nail.

His thoughts carried him to the memories of last night. Why the hell had not Harry come to them with this mess? Why had he chosen to hide away without telling them anything for two years? Was he ever going to tell them any of it? Didn't he trust them enough?

 

Later as three of them walked back to their rooms, they didn't talk.

Some heavy air of guilt and worrisome feelings were floating around them. Choosing to not take sides or openly acknowledge anything of Harry's and Louis' whole drama never felt so wrong to any of them. At least if they did... they would have known that management was behind it... they would have seen the signs or got it out from Harry himself. Harry had never been much open about the break up, not even as much as Louis had been. He had just hid away behind Nick, agitating Louis more, getting in to his own clique who partied around London's posh clubs and lavish events. They thought it was Harry's coping method after whole chaos with Douglas and Louis.

Maybe it was...in a way

As each of them disappeared behind their own doors none of them knew about Louis being kicked out from the Modest meeting by Harry's request. And as they were trying hard to get some rest before the show, they never knew that Harry was struggling his way through a mob of paparazzi as the Management wanted him to, while Louis sat in the car stunned and helpless.

 

.......................................................................................................

 

  

Miles a way to the sold out One Direction concert stadium, Nick Moth shook his hand with a pat to his back with Eric Serepisos, a black market broker who was always seen with his trench coat and the black Ray-Ban glasses. For the outward appearance anyone would mistake Eric for a business professional - and in a way he was, though the businesses contained steady involvement of London underground Mafia.

Being a middle man, he had contacts in every corner. If something needed to be done, - he is the best in the market. The best dealer, the man, if something impossible needed to be dealt with while keeping the hands clean. So when he had been called to handle this one special job, which is fueled by an impossibly large payment and almost an unattainable task, he had accepted it.

He had the best shot at it, the best plan and the best people; well maybe a bit too _enthusiastic_ people, that was his only concern...

‘Until next time' says Eric eyeing Nick calculatingly.

'Chill, Eric.. Man. Jimmy would deliver. He is the best and I doubt he'll miss the chance for this much of a package." Nick gestured to the two black brief cases held by an over sized man wearing black with a dirty black cap. Eric knew the man is a bald. He looks at the man and the money bags once more before eyeing Nick again.

He sighs eyes straining at Nick "T's not Jimmy I'm worried about." He says contrast to Nick's slimy voice.

Nick smirks.

Eric's stare turns stern. "Go easy on him... don't get carried away"

"Come on, man. Have I ever overdone anything unless it's really necessary"

"I mean it, Nikky."

Nick makes a straight face "I'll look after him... like my own brother"

Eric huffs on his breath. "This is no joke, Nick. If anyone blows this in any way, we'll all get burnt to ash. Don't want any personal digs here. I want your word until I get things to the track."

"I'll tie him to a chair, curl his hair and put the right lipstick on his cherry lips until you arrive with your bag of goods. I'm a man of my word aren’t I?"

"You better be"

 

Nick watches Eric leave - a smirk emerging on his pale face.

Eric sometimes tries to makes things too complicated. He finds too many concerns. Nick wasn't sure what the result of this grand scheme of planning was and who will get the largest piece out of this. But he was sure of few things. Within a month some of the top labels in the industry will drop down without funds as well as from their in stardom.

And personally, he will make sure at least one of them won't crawl back to the fake majesty they never deserved.

And as for the boy... a smile creeps in to his face with the thought as he waves Eric who drove off in his sleek black BMW.

Well... there are hell of things to pay if anyone asked him.

 

Only hours till all things to be in motion.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next .....
> 
>  
> 
> The boys get on with the show, determined to keep the appearances and their image normal as possible... Harry and Louis are on the edge, tension is filling the room and Harry gets a call which makes it all worse.


	10. The play must go on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippet to the past. And the show time drama which riles up with a phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, sorry for taking so long for this update but I got stuck with work and life and so many things :) But here we are now.
> 
> This actually sort of completes the back story I wanted the readers to know about past, at this point. Some of you might get a little judgemental on Louis on this part but hope you would look through and see why he acts the way he does in the past.
> 
> Warning - Angst/ distress/ sexual content/ rough sex ... and drama  
> enjoy!

 

 

**8\. The Play Must Go on...**

 

 

 

  _ **November 2012**_

 

_"What has changed from your previous album to this one, Take Me Home?"_

_The interviewer with a flowing hair and thick eyeliner asks directing the question at Louis ... and  Louis just stares at her face for a brink of a second trying to collect his thoughts._ _Of all the possible terrible days, this must be one of the worst. The interviewer kept throwing questions and Louis wanted nothing more than to be left alone. His head hurt, and there was a awful feeling in the pit of his stomach which kept poking at him from his insides._

_Harry is drunk... he knew._

_Louis could tell from the way his face muscles are relaxed and the way he is acting... giddy and clumsy, even than his normal self. And of course Louis saw him sipping a bloody glass of wine just before the interview, eyeing him with a silly smirk in his stubborn face - surly daring Louis to come and stop him. Who the hell even let him bring  a glass here? let alone sip it like the brat he is ... where're the PR people, honestly!_

_They had a_ _fight last night,  and Harry had stormed out of the house._

_Louis got to know from Liam that he had crashed in with Niall in his room. And here he is now all loose and happily showing off his high, knowing Louis is loosing his shit every passing moment. He knew Harry was doing this to just to set him off and well... he is pissed now._

_Zayn straightens next to him, nudging him sideways. He spares a concerned look at him but Louis ignores him. Is it his fault that Harry decided it's a brilliant idea to spend a bloody date night with Taylor freaking Swift in the tattoo parlour? Why could not he just go to a freaking restaurant and pose for some ass fake pictures like Louis does with Eleanor? Why does Harry had to be clingy with bloody everyone he meets?_

 

_"_ _Ummm... there is not much of a change I ... I think." He starts wanting to get rid of the searching gaze of the woman in front of him. But his mood was seriously failing his ability to think..._

_Honestly, the girl is all hots for him... any fool knew that._ _But here Harry was, taking her to their favorite tattooist to sit by him for hours long session. He had returned in the middle of the night, showing off a bloody cruise ship in his arm with his stupid dimply smile all over the face!!  What was he supposed to do? admire the fucking black ship and invite Taylor to select a matching one for himself? Of course bloody not! He got angry... freaking mad!! In the middle of the argument Harry had bloody guts to reveal that Taylor had been asking him why he is in this stressful relationship when they should enjoy more freedom at this point._

_And that made everything bloody blow up._

 

__"It is ummm..." he struggles to find words feeling utterly distracted._ '"It's ummm... there is not much of a difference to ...ummm- can someone else take the question? " he blurts trying to contain his  irritation. Zayn comes to help and Louis feels Liam squeeze him from the back._

_They never used to fight like this. They never used to go to end days all worked out and angry at each other. They used to be each others safe place... serenity among all the hyper craze and prejudice. They were young but they knew each other... knew their secrets, fears and faults. They held on to their hands when judgements and blames fell down- when they were showcased to the world with lights hitting each and every part of them, molding their images in to something larger than life - something none of them could really comprehend._

_What had happened to all that? Why is this getting all too crowded suddenly? Taylor, Eleanor, Grimmy and his bloody gang..._

_Were they loosing it? Is he loosing him? His head was swaying and he wanted to vomit._

_He loved Harry... he'll lose it before he let him walk away... he could not even fathom the idea of it all._

 

_Louis does not utter a word for the rest of the interview - he tries not to look at Harry ( which he fails mostly)._

_And when They were asked of the personal preferences on songs from this album, he  blurts that his is "I loved you first" for no particular reason._

 

 

 

 

_**January 2013** _

__

_"You don't have to go, you know..."_ _Taylor says watching him messily pack up his bag._

_Her voice already sounds defeated._

_"I do" he says without looking at her._

_It was the end of their so called arrangement_ _, everything juicy and heartening - to the media at least. Sighing, Taylor crosses her hands and looks away. In different circumstances were there any chances for them at all ? He is committed, she knew. But how is it possible that he was going through with all these complications? She knew he was the least who would be in the situation with preference... not that she had any reason to not like Louis Tomlinson, Harry's beloved other half ( but she had every reason to though). From being reluctant with each other to friends, and now some of her thoughts kept nagging her for something else. Something she knew he wold never step forward to. But that did not mean she could not worry about him, right? They were friends..._

_"Did you manage to finish the song?'" She asks wanting him to look at her. He had brought in his leather bound notebook as usual and he spent most of the last few days trying to finish a song he had written with Carlsson, one of his famous writer pals. A song about wishing if he could fly or something - she had just seen few starting lines._

_"Not yet" he still does not look up at her, attention on folding some red jumper she had never seen him wear._

_"You are going to a mess, Harry." she says, almost like a statement._

_He does not say anything. She knew what had happened, about Douglas and the way Louis was being a total ass about it. He was going back to a boyfriend who is going to ignore him or jump at his throat the moment he sees him._

_"It's not your fault, you know..." she says but Harry does not respond. He looks upset._ _'You don't have to go.' she repeats._

_He stands in the middle of the cabin and looks around as if to spot anything he might have forgotten to pack in._

_"Harry?"_

_"Would not going sort anything?" he says, tone dead, more to himself than her. "Shows' are starting within a week" he blurts as if it explained  all the reasons why he has to fly to London, to the bloody mess today._ _Slipping his shoulder bag he pulls it over his shoulder with a sigh. His short curls looks a mess and he runs his hand through it pushing it back. It suits him somehow. He looks oddly perfect all the time... ragged and unfinished but complete all together._

_Snatching his shades he pauses at the door and looks back at her. This is it then..._

_"Good bye, Taylor"_

_Her sight slightly blurs for the finality of his voice. She silently watches as he disappears with the sea breeze catching his mop of a hair, leaving her alone in the cabin. It was the end of them... she knows._

 

_The media story hits two days after... her pictures, alone in the boat - and him, in a pool party with Richard fucking Branson._

_**"Taylor Swift, Harry Styles Split: Couple Call It Quits After a 'Blow-Up Fight' (REPORT)"-** the headlines reads_

 

_.........._

 

 

_It all settles down eventually... or that is how Harry feels._

_On his third night back at the London flat, Louis comes with take-a-ways and beer, after _hundreds of unanswered phone calls which had driven Harry practically to near insanity_. _

_Louis had found him on their bed - still with the same pair of jeans for three days since landed in London, hair greasy and everything around a mess. Louis wakes him up, drags him out of the bed and makes his hysterical  form bathe, forcing him to a fresh pair of joggers and a T-shirt, more like a mother hen than anything else. But he does not really look at Harry nor hug him in with the usual gestures. Louis then prompts Harry to sit down in the breakfast bench in the kitchen and makes him eat._ _Afterwards, he makes tea for both of them - forgetting the beer._

_They talk, even though awkwardly and a little forcefully... bitterness still clear and pouring out of Louis' whole demeanor, maybe not intentionally._

_Louis is still furious about Douglas, torn and unforgiving._ _But Harry does not care. He deserves it, he knows._

 _Louis denies any touches  from Harry though- even the slightest ones. It makes Harry's heart break in to pieces but that's what he gets. At least Louis hangs around._ _And it seems like a start._ _Maybe the boys urged Louis to cut some slack with everything that had happened, noticing Harry was slowly reaching the breaking point of it all. Or maybe Louis realized that himself. But either way Harry does not mind- because everything else around him were in deep shit. He needed Louis behind him to face the storm coming._

_After much publicized , break up with Taylor, the paps seemed to have a price on his head._

_He felt like some sort of an animal which they were trying to hunt down. His own distressed demeanor seemed to be read in to match the story. The media had started investigations on his supposed disastrous break up - linking him with possibilities, since he is framed to be a womanizing asshole and a habitual cheater._ _Some of them drags Louis in to it with a clearly evident dislike of him for the star girl. But it only keep swirling underneath like a dirty secret which boils up the management... and the PR team ends up strategizing the steps to project his lothario image to cover it up. Hyped up further, media hit at Harry harder in each interview, promo  - as if his privet life was more important to them than the music they made. He feels less, aimless and sore...  He tries to deny the shit loads that is being casually dumped on to his head with absolute no sense._ _The management  jumps at his throat for that though - they wants him to play along._

_Stress has been killing him, as same as unspent feelings and yearnings._

_Yearning to be hugged, comforted, touched and kissed to ease the soreness and pain like he had been used to - which he knows he won't get, not from the one person he yearns it all from. And he does not dare to demand any from him. _Louis will come to him when he had truly forgiven him. He would wait until then, even if he had to grit his teeth and scream into his pillow each night, alone in the too large too cold bed.__

__Neither_ does he dare try to talk to Grimy - no matter how much he wanted to, because Grimy understood him better than anyone sometimes as he felt. (Grimy had tried to call him after the whole thing but Harry does not have guts to talk to him - not that it would do any good for the mending relationship between him and Louis)  Also he does not talk to Liam , Niall or Zayn about any of it, though Liam kept giving him signals that he could talk to him if he wanted. But he does not. If he did, Liam would confront Louis and try to sort it out for them. And that is not what Harry need. _

_Louis comes around slowly - well perhaps more sooner than he intended to, sensing Harry's yearn to be comforted, maybe... to relieve him of the control which he seemed to be loosing fast. Louis returns to the flat and to the bed they shared._

__They_ kiss for the first time after a long time soon after. Louis kisses him. But it feels a bit forced for Harry for some reason, - with no lingering touches or running fingers through his hair. No  looking in to his eyes nor touching behind his neck or cheeks. _

_It was just a kiss of convenience, almost like an obligation._

_Their make out sessions becomes shorter but steamier - and random ... as if they both missed each of their heat with the wasted time. Harry lets Louis lead most of the time, with an unexplainable  twinge of guilt buried deep inside him half of the time. Louis always tries to avoid the bed, taking in to the couch or even a random wall to finish it soon. And avoids looking at Harry, always turning Harry and taking him from the back. But Harry does not say anything. He would take anything Louis would give because he is the one who miss-stepped... he is the one who did this to them._

_Also because _he just wants to let go... and because_ he is so tired of everything. _

_In the other way it seemed like a start. And it would all settle down eventually - or at least that was how it fall eels._

  _Until it does not,_

_Louis stops snapping at him, instead he seems to have decided to do everything one sided... and Harry lets him._

_I_ _t is like Harry does not have a say - from selecting to what type of milk the fridge in their London flat should have to whether Harry should be going to the Modest scheduled parades or not. Who he could talk to and who Louis would prefer him not to... And Harry let Louis wheel him in whatever the way he wanted, though inside, he feels himself falling apart._

 _And to add in to the pile of mess, it lands Harry in complete shit with the management, especially with Magee and Richards, plus disappointment from Simon for failing to comply with the plans and PR schedules. He tries to cope as much as he could, bottling up - because he is tired of explaining and tired of fighting. 'We are fine' is what he repeats to everyone, especially when the management questions him of their not so subtle distressed faces and revealing interactions in media eyes. He knows that the management is not buying it - he gets called for meeting after meeting with them pushing the fact, forcing him to divulge their clashes -  demanding explanations, trying to persuade him to see the fact that two of them being together could bring them all down and destroy their careers. Harry refuses, of course as same as he had done all this time._

_But Louis keeps pushing him and Harry keeps taking everything Louis throws at him with the disapproval of everyone close to them,_

_... until he could not anymore._

 

_It is the first time they all attend a publicized party after the whole chaos._

_It is a Modest hosted celebrity party and the night was shining with almost all the stars that had the possibility to gather in such an event. To much to his (and Louis') dismay, Nick and the gang are also there (including Douglas). Nick had merely nodded at him, acknowledging the presence - surely noticing Louis' murderous and daring stare - Harry had cowered behind Louis the whole time, not leaving his side even when Louis offered a smirk with tearing words, "Your fuck boy's here... not going to say hi?" a bit too loud. Ed and several people in their circle had looked at Louis, assuming it's one of his sassy jokes, moving their eyes to Harry who sets his eyes down trying to pretend he didn't hear._

_"Look at him. He seems to hold his shit in the tuxedo, you sure you don't want to go over and have a round two?"_

_"Louis" Liam  warns._

_Harry's face drains... he does not know what was worse, whether it was the uncomfortable gazes that passes through their friend circle, the angry and concerned look in Liam's face or the way Douglas turns his head meeting Louis' bitter face and Harry's paled one (surely catching upon at least few of Louis' words). His expression turns apologetic and almost ashamed before quickly looking away._

_Louis had gotten drunk that night and Harry had locked himself in the loo after Louis moves to his third glass for the night._

_"I'm fine" is what he tells Zayn who manages to pull him out after pounding the door for a considerable time. Without much words Zayn takes him to Liams' car and sits him next to a very drunk and ruffled looking Louis. Did he get in to a fight with anyone? Harry thinks but does not ask. Liam and Zayn drives them back to their flat silently - Harry manages to put a swaying Louis to bed before tucking himself in next to him._

_It is Louis' sweeping hand over his skin which wakes Harry up near midnight again._

_Waking up, his eyes adjusts to the dim lights soon to Louis' fully awake face with eager blue orbs. One of Louis hands slowly reaches Harry's face and his fingers runs though his lips - and it was all that takes for Harry... the need and desperation fogging his rational thoughts saying that this might not be the best time._

_Rolling over  he looks at Louis for a second before slowly catching Louis' lips with his, inhaling the bitter smell of alcohol in Louis' heavy breaths. And for the first time after along time they kiss slowly, taking in each of their feels until they could take no more. They breathe into each others mouths, panting. He buries his head in Louis' neck hugging in the body beneath him with all he got, feeling relieved and petrified at the same time for some unknown reason. And Louis hugs him back letting Harry melt in to him like snow in the face of sun. He runs his hands all over Harry, making him slightly whimper. Then sliding his arms around his neck and back, Louis turns them over, swapping their positions. His eager lustful blues pours in to Harry's panting hopeful greens filled with temptation. Maybe Louis realized that it was all a bad mistake... that Harry in his whole heart could not love anyone than the boy on top of him. He drags Louis' face down, kissing him deeper... holding on to him as if he never intend to let go._

_Breaking the kiss, Louis then starts running his hands and tongue all over the long toned body, driving Harry crazy with his touches. He nips and bites making Harry squirm and writher under him, marking him more than in a one place. Eyes closed tight, Harry lets Louis lift his legs up pulling them over his shoulders. He merely lets go - letting Louis have the control he wanted. It is normal to them. Nothing new in bed. Louis loved taking control and Harry was fine giving it up to him when he felt like it. It was nothing. So when Louis pushes in with a little less preparation than Harry would normally prefer, he does not read too much to it. He could see the lust and impatience in Louis' glistening eyes and he could feel it inside him all the same._

_But then Louis gains speed, pushing in too hard and too fast._

_And Harry tries... tries to hold on thinking Louis will slow down. He grips on the sheets and waits with something sinking deep down. 'Lou...-' He tries when he could not take it anymore, touching Louis' toned torso, as if to wake him up from . But there was no slowing down, no comforting gazes nor soothing gestures. If anything, it makes Louis pound  harder, faster. It was more hurtful than anything else, and painful. Harry tries to push him slightly, mainly to get attention, silently prompting to slow down. And Louis responds, only not the way Harry expects. He snatches Harry's hand and bends forward, bending Harry's knees with him, holding him down. His hands pressed to the mattress with tight grips, sure to leave marks around his wrists. Harry looks at Louis' face just above him trying to read something, anything in the blue deep eyes he fell in love with. But all he finds there is an unmistakable lust and an anger... it makes Harry go numb and cold. He stops trying to fight Louis off as his eyes starts tearing._

_Louis comes hard inside him the next second and he falls on Harry with weak limbs. Harry just lets him, not trying to move an inch - his arousal long gone and forgotten. Several minutes later Louis relieves Harry from the odd position and rolls over to the other side without a word. Harry does not try to stop him, nor he dares to talk or cuddle. He lays there numb with hurt and sorrow as he hears Louis sniffing breaths next to him. They fall asleep like that._

_When he wakes up next morning, Harry finds Louis gone._

_For the first time after Louis returned, he cries until it drains him out not bothering to get up from the empty bed. To be roughed up, used like that last night... only to be left alone like some one night stand in the morning?_

_Did Louis hate him so much? Had he turned Louis that bitter? What had Louis become? What had they become?_

 

_Later he finds Louis' car gone from the garage. He checks the phone still blindly hopeful for any messages or calls but only finds a couple of texts from Liam and one from the PR, informing him he is to attend a meeting in another three hours._

_Forcing himself in to his working mode he drives to Modest office barely on time. He must have looked really wrecked for almost everyone there to linger their eyes on him like that. He practically feels like a zombie, walking around as the people stared at him._

_In the meeting he finds that Louis had gotten in to a fight with Douglas last night, in front of the whole bloody crowd. Luckily Liam, Zayn, Grimy and Ben had managed to drag them away before anything serious had happened. With his head on fire, heart in pieces and rest of everything falling apart, he looses it when they keep digging. He shivers as his eyes start tearing for the second time for the day. He hates himself for feeling so week but Harry knows that there was no way the Modest heads to not to know what had happened between them. There is no one no one in that business room to spare a sympathetic gesture at him... only heads that shook with 'we told you so's. After calming himself down, he listens to their long lists of complaints, reasons, blames and tries to defend it all fruitlessly._

_But how is he supposed to fight if he feels this lost, abandoned and hopeless. All his attempts goes to deaf ears._

_The team heads states that either they put an end to their little troublesome romance or all five of their careers. They demands his shaking form to decide the future of the band right there and then. To decide if the One Direction is to be with a management of Simons backing or to be thrown out of the picture with media lashes and bad press. They will never be able to find a place back in the fast moving industry and all it will leave them with would be at debts for their contract with Modest, they tell him._

_Many words and matters after Harry walks out of the Modest office with total numbness and emptiness swirling in his head - and a copy of his new contract reluctantly griped in his frozen hand. He feels as if the world is spinning around him while he stood there broken and numb._

_When he goes back to the flat Louis is there, sober and face heavy with guilt._

_With his blotchy face and red rimmed eyes Harry could tell that he had been crying - But this time, Louis is too late..._

 

 .........

 

 

 

 

**Present day/ January 2015**

 

It is quarter to eight, and the show is about to start.

Apart from anything and everything going on, the whole team knew that they cannot afford any slips than the ones they've already done. And the last thing they want is to risk any of to affect the performances. This is their job, and it will cause more trouble and raise more questions in a time where everyone predicting their downfall after the peak.

The backstage had started to come alive hours ago and Liam, Zayn and Nail had arrived first before an hour to the show. Louis had taken another fifteen minutes to show up in a black tank top and a denim jacket, which were the same outfit he wore when they last saw him heading to the Modest! meeting.

They could all see that something is off about him for the least. It is clear to them that Louis was more than just upset. He was silent than usual and seemed barely in place keeping to himself, unlike any other day. Fiddling with his phone, Louis kept looking at the doors every now and then, fidgeting as someone entered the space as if almost anxious. 

Zayn, Liam and Niall had gotten to know about the Paparazzi disco from Mark, their drummer... they were all furious but knew an hour before the show would not be the best timing to start a brawl. So they kept silent about it though they were furious to find out that management sent Harry to a mob of paparazzi intentionally.  
They guessed that it might be the reason for Louis' foul mood, but none of them knew for sure what really happened for Louis to turn from impulsive and irritated to downright unhappy and silent after the Modest! meeting. They expected Louis to be furious or irritated ... but seeing him distressed and quiet, they all suspected that maybe... just maybe he found out about the Modest contract and Harry.

 

"You ok?" Zayn had asked after Louis' unlikely behavior was too much for them to ignore.

"Fucking fantastic" Louis had not even looked up from his phone, lacking the expected snappy tone which is almost his trademark when angry. After that they all had gone back to quiet, because they can't take the risk to set Louis off more just before the show.

 

Harry comes in only half an hour to the show, closely followed by Stacy Wilkins, their assistant PR.

He did look paler than usual which contrasted with his all black sleeved shirt and signature black jeans but his face has gone completely poker. His smiles and greets to the crew seems less energetic and his face more on guard. Yet whatever the turmoil he had, it is well hidden, and he is doing a good job covering it... they all thought. The boys and the crew were all concerned on the fans' reception on Harry, but Harry seemed to have made up his mind to the inevitable. And all four of them knew now how well Harry had practiced pretending...  

Harry anything but avoids looking at Louis, that much is clear to the other three. And Louis, realizing that ignoring him is how Harry was has chosen to face this, again, goes to a much bitter mood. He seems almost unaware that his eyes kept going into Harry's direction... and when he realized, he just ducked his head down, irritated.

 For the last quarter hour, they sat in a backstage couch listening to Wilkins, to her long list of to do's, don't say's and to say's in the show and the following interview, especially directed to Harry. Liam nods unenthusiastically to all the advices and cues for him to step in if anything went out of hand. It is clear how unwilling they all are to sit there and listen to her - apart from Harry who just stared at her, blankly nodding every time he was addressed. In contrast, Louis just sat with his hands bound on the chest, head resting back and eyes closed, pretending uninterested... or worse asleep. And Stacy, knowing Louis' temper so well did not push or comment.

Just few minutes to the show they stood in their usual circle... close to each other as usually they do. Liam looked at all of their faces... how enthusiastic have they been for this one last show here in London for a while. But now there are only feelings of betrayal and distress floating like dust in different levels for different reasons. Liam put his arms around Harry and Niall who were in either side and they all followed, as they always did before a show in their early days. Their heads knocked lightly and the grips tightened. 'Come what may lads... let’s do this!!!' Liam mumbles to them with several followed up "Yeah s."

 

As they all let go, Louis looks at the curly haired face in front of him. His gaze is met with greens which stares back at him for just a few seconds, the sound of the ending in their tour video playing loud in their ears.

Breaking the ring, they all goes out to the blasting drums and thousands of screaming with blinding lights of colors.

 

....................

 

 

The first half of the show goes amid cheers and screams like any other One Direction show.

Fans sing along and dance as the boys keeps it alive as much as they could. Louis, quieter than usual, hung around with Zayn the most. But since it is usual for them, it goes unnoticed.

Harry makes an effort to pretend he was enjoying the show with Niall, only zoning out time to time, though he keeps quiet for the most of the part, avoiding the usual quarks. Since all the hawk eyes were on him in the show today anyway, they all - including Harry, expects nothing more than tons of comments and too much readings to his every move on all media by tomorrow, there is no stopping it. However, there has been only very few banners and posters related to the whole media Paige scandal, asking Harry to step down the womanizer or asking how Paige is. They, including Harry had ignored them without much effort. And if Harry had any effect by them, he hid it well.

In the loo break before the second half, Liam and Harry has been walking back to the stage through the corridor, passing the crew members with 1D tags hanging around their necks who are running up and down. Sound of the screams and music are ringing in their heads as well as in their ears. The other three boys are already on the stage after the break and Liam had hung back with Harry who waited for a fair amount of time changing to a simple white T-shirt and killing time to leave the backstage to avoid Louis in the toilets.

 

"Harry! Harry! Harry!" Liam and Harry stop looking back at the black clad guard who walks to them hastily with Harry's iPhone in his hand.

The guard had a blank expression in his face. "It's Miss Raifler" he says in a deep voice. "She wants a word with you" Harry shakes his head while Liam stares at the guard. Is he out of his mind? Maybe he's new. They don't answer phones unless it's something absolutely critical when they are in shows anyway, it is a policy.

"I'm sorry. I'm busy" Harry says turning to walk again.

"She's been calling since the show started... says it's important and can't wait… just wanted to inform you. I'll switch it off" The guard took the phone back with a apologetic expression.

Harry sighs and turns, gesturing to give him the phone with a blank face.

"Harry" Liam trails off irritated as Harry takes the phone and presses it to his ear.

"What is it, Paige?" his voice sounds blank, as same as his expression.

 

"Harry, I'm sorr..-" Liam could hear the squeal of the stupid model who is the reason for all this. Why the hell would Harry waste time to even answer?

"What do you want?" Harry interrupts in the same monotonous sound.

"I didn't mean-"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT? I’m in the middle of a bloody show!!"

"I don't know how-"

"IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY? BRAVO."

"I was bugged, Harry. I didn't know-"

Liam watches concerned as Harry laughs at that before settling in to a dull voice, "Well, then you should have checked and cleared it up before dragging me in. But you know what I think? ...you and your friends knew exactly what you'll were doing, Paige. You wanted it to get out so you can get a scoop into media ... you got the attention you wanted now spare me the lies and enjoy the carnival"

"I don't know what happened, damn it!!!," Liam watches Harry grit teeth as the girl's voice turns teary.. She is clearly crying but it did not make Liam feel sorry for her for what she had done intentionally or unintentionally. "Don’t blame it all on me...you are the bloody pap machine not me!! I'm not the one who can't even step in to a café without being clicked head to toe!! Now I can’t get out of my house or to any screen tests because they are packed up in every damn corner!! I can’t even go to my dresser, Harry!! You bloody ruined my career. I'm going to sue you!! THIS IS YOUR FAUL-"

"SUE ME THEN!!! YOU DON’T GET TO SELL THE BLOODY FOOOTAGE AND BLAME IT ON ME!! FUCKING HELL, PAIGE!!'  Harry's deep voice rounds along the corridor and he throws the phone at the wall with such a force which makes it crack and scatter to few pieces. Harry without a glance stomps along the corridor with long hurried steps. sparing a wary glance at the shocked guard, Liam follows. They totally would have to put an extra act to cover up a furious Harry from the fans for the rest of the show, he knows.

 

And as the second part of the show starts, it becomes crystal clear to everyone that Harry is shamelessly moody. And it surely is going to end up in social media if not anything else. He barley interacts with the boys or fans, keeping to himself the whole time. Several management reps, who time to time drops in on the front rows keeps staring at Harry, who ignores them.

Harry sang of course... there is no worry in that - with no dancing around, he sang even better. But the absence of his walking and running around, crazy dancing, joking and clumsy aura which usually cheered up the crowds, seemed like a missing colour in a rainbow.

Niall, confused with Harry’s sudden change in the behavior to the worst, shoots concerned glances at the curly haired boy. And he who usually paired himself with Harry in their crazy pull ups, tried to cover up with Liam, sensing something more off with Harry.

As Zayn and Niall took the stage before the final performance for the show, Liam sat down on a step looking at Louis who follows him to the seat. Louis sits next to him and stares at Harry who is standing leaning to a ramp several blocks away from them... fiddling the mike moodily .

 

"Did the curly find out he's in his period when he's in the loo?" Louis whispers to Liam's ear making Liam huff with a laugh.

"He is in such a good mood isn’t he?" Louis says again, not taking his eyes off the brooding boy. Liam looks at Harry who keeps turning his mike in his hands.

"Paige called" he says almost absently not really sure why he wanted to tell Louis that. Louis' eyes shoots back at him, and there is an irritation in Louis' stare.

"He err...sort of wrecked the phone... didn't go that well I guess" Harry stares back at them for a moment, as if he knew that they were talking about him.

"I see" Louis nods, ducking his head slightly looking down at his mike held hand.

"This is a new kind of a mess" Liam says quietly standing up for their final song as Zayn ends his speech with much cheering and shouts.

Liam feels tired.

End of the show... straight to the transport, change in the transport and the interview.... that was the plan Stacy had scheduled. And they will be heading to Australia right afterwards. They are all going to be out of breath by the end of the flight... but for some reason Liam feels the media conference is going to be the end of them today...

he sighs again before stepping up to the front to announce the final song as Louis follows him.

 

...........................................

 

 

 

_'You ok?'_

Louis asks Harry casually, walking and standing beside him as Zayn starts his solo for What Makes You Beautiful. They should seriously change their final closing song - they knew it and the fans knew it - but the management insists every time, pointing that it is and always will be their best hit... _whatever._

 Harry glares at Louis. "Fine" he says tonelessly as if it was the most obvious thing around.

"Really? Doesn’t look like to me" Louis does not look at the green eyed boy who is clearly eyeing him with an annoyance. He keeps eyes ahead at the thousands of their fans who were screaming and singing along the lyrics even they possibly hated the song. How ironical.

"I don't care" Harry replies irritatingly before he starts singing... they both does.

 

"Did you break your phone?" Louis asks again after they finish the part. Zayn who notices the exchange steppes near Louis with a cue from Liam.

Harry doesn't answer, and Louis almost sniggers rubbing his mouth.

"What are you doing?" Zayn asks frowning, pretending to join Harry and Louis in their little chat to any on lookers.

"Talking" Louis signs shaking his head with a funny face.

 

Zayn hates when Louis started like this... making it look like everything is funny when he is irritated or angry.... especially in the middle of performing.

Louis turns to Harry fully after rising eye brows at Zayn "What did she say?? _sorry?"_ he imitates the worst chick voice.

"None of your business" Harry says with a straight face.

"Stop this.. are you out of your mind?" Zayn whispers, faking a smile to any on lookers.

It is Harry's solo then, and they all gather in the middle for the final parts of the song. His voice stresses a bit , maybe out of irritation.

They sing ending the song with much energy they all could muster... and Louis looks from other boys to Harry, shaking his head.

 

To the audience, it all ends in a high tone... blasts of shouts, cheers, fireworks, splashes, flashing lights and what not.

They hug in routine forming a tight circle as cheers get louder. Inside the hug everyone noticed Louis' smile directed to Harry while Harry stares at him blankly. Zayn Niall and Liam all makes faces at Louis, unsure what he is up to. They've had enough of these in the past which never ended well.

As Liam starts thanking everyone, all five of them are supposed to go in to their respective exits... to jump out in a flash ending the show. But Louis has different plans... with a smirk he follows Harry ... leaving Zayn no option but to follow them.

Niall almost looked alarmed.  "Louis, what are you doing???" he calls after him with gritted teeth… but Louis does not stop.

Harry walks to his exit on the floor and glares at Louis and Louis casually stops next to him, looking at the audience. He doesn’t smile anymore.

 

Zayn glances back helplessly at Liam who finishes thanking, stepping beside his own exit in the floor which was now open. He looks around confused to see the two exits next to him empty and locks the gaze with Zayn. _Fucking Louis!_ he thinks head gone cold. _What is he even trying to do?_

"Goodbye everyone!!!! Thank you and see you next time!!! We love you!!" Niall shouts almost distracted. It was their cue to get ready for the jump.

 

Louis looks at Harry for once and fixes his eyes on cheering crowds again. Cheers are deafeningly loud.

"I want you back.."

He says as the final fireworks starts to go out with a blast of colors and sound.

Both Harry and Zayn looks at Louis, Zayn in surprise with raised eyes and Harry, sharply with his steering green.

It is just a moment of a second as the cutting blues clashes with clear greens, and then Harry jumps down vanishing from the audience's view as Louis follows right after with a wave to the crowds.

Zayn, seeing he's the only one left in the humongous stage, follows his two impossible band mates with an admirable smirk on his face...

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's that. Let me know what you think. ;)


	11. Edge of the Corridor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finally pushes the boundaries which he should have pushed two years ago. But is it the right time?  
> \- I don't want to spoil much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last of this part of the story. This one is really short. But finally we've reached the bridge.

 

 

 **9** **. Edge of the Corridor**

 

Louis and Zayn land on to the cushioned floor one after the other to a Harry who is already walking away, and to a startled bodyguard ... Jimmy, if they could remember, the new recruit who is covering for Roger, Harry's personal. His panicked face surely remind them that he still has to get used to their antics and Louis' love to bend the rules and skip the plans.

 

Without waiting, Louis starts following Harry as Jimmy leads Harry through a door to a dim lit corridor.

 

"Harold"

Louis starts walking to match Harry and Jimmy who were taking quick strides as if it kills to slow down.

Zayn follows almost cursing. Why does Harry happen to have the longest legs in the universe? But Louis doesn't give up... taking speedy steps with clenched fists.

"I meant what I said. I want this back... I want you back. Do you hear me??!!" He says with an echo in the long passage way as Harry almost stumbles on his feet clumsy with his long strides.

"I'm talking ... would you at least have the decency to slow down without falling to your fours??"

Harry does not even look back. He continues marching behind Jimmy, down the corridor without a hint of a slowing down.

Louis air punches, irritated.

"I want you back!" He repeats, hisses irritation stamped to his words. He's done with letting this boy run away.

Jimmy looks back and catches Zayns' eye as if to figure out what was going on. _Same man same... These two are insane_. Zayn thinks smirking at Jimmy's widened eyes. The man does look  tensed. Maybe Louis should just take it easy. Spilling everything out when they are around of one of the new Modest employed guards is not be the wisest things to do. Especially not about this. All of this could easily go to management ears and it could mess things far worse.

"You can't keep running, Harold. This is getting too old"

"Keep it down, Louis." Zayn tries, but Louis ignores him.

 "You know this is pathetic, right? You acting as if I'm running behind you like some shaggy old dog!" he barks a laugh.

 

After three exit doors with Louis' one-sided talking, Jimmy opens a door to his right to a narrow passage leading out, looking straight at Harry.

Harry pauses before walking in, sparing a glance at Louis who practically walks into him. With shoulder length curly hair freely flowing down to frame his sharp face, he burns a stare at Louis with his deep green eyes, his tall form blocking the way. Louis takes a slightest step back struck by the intensity of the sharp gaze, Zayn notices. Charming and clumsy Harry can be but he also knew how to intimidate with just a one move. Something Harry had grown up to be lately, Zayn thinks, though Louis might have a good idea how passively aggressive Harry could be. His ability to shun someone with just staring, without so much engaging. Surely with their time apart Louis had forgotten how intimidating Harry could get, if he wanted... It was like staring at a lighthouse when the light suddenly turns.

"Why is it everything a joke to you, Louis?" There was no smile nor emotion in his face. Louis binds his hands and stands at ease. His defence stance, Zayn knows.

"T's no joke. I meant what I said." His voice doesn't shake this time.

Harry's stare momentarily lands on Zayn before he turns and walks through the door along the dark passage.

Louis curses harsh as he starts to follow.

Looking far ahead Zayn could see the exit and the black SUV parked right in front of it under the light post.

This is going to be a long ride - Liam better come soon or Zayn would have to sit in the middle of these two, watching them talk back and forth until it would turn in to a loud swearing match, trying to kill each other ... he thinks as he follows stomping Louis, hearing Jimmy close the door behind them and hurries to join them from behind.

Zayn knows Louis has the worst sense of timing. Even when all the drama happened between them almost two years back, Louis chose the worst times to get things started, rendering both them moody and snappy at each other to face crowds ... or worse, interviews. And Harry... he could get most defensive when it came to Louis with spot on comebacks with just a word or two. It always set Louis up.

Sliding his hands to his pockets Zayn just walks following the two, trying to keep Louis' irritated voice out of his head. Why could not Liam have happened to follow the impossible two?

 

"How long are you planning to keep pretending to be dumb, Harold...!" Louis sounds louder "You know... you gonna drive yourself crazy with this bloody contract or whatever!!"

 "Yeah? I'm already crazy ... so don't worry about it" Harry says dryly this time.

Zayn could feel the sarcasm in his tone.

Their steps keep echoing in the narrow empty space and the dim lights above them are making odd shadows of their forms on the floor. Good for a bloody haunted house , Zayn thinks wanting a detraction. _Seriously, why the hell are they going on about this out here? Idiots!_

"Stop lying to yourself, Damn it! Contract…no contract, I don't care. You are not running from this because you can't bloody stand up and tell them to fuck off!"

"I like to see how you tell them that" Harry slurs, tone morbid, dull.

If he did not know Harry, Zayn would have thought Harry is indeed unaffected with it all. But both Louis and Zayn knew Harry’s voice always sounded like that... even when he is substantially angry. Droning like dead weight and deep.

"If you can't I will. I'm bloody sick of reading how much you enjoy free fucks and how many nights you spend in Grimshaw's bed with god knows what in your ass!!!"

They were right at the edge of the corridor, and Harry rounds up on Louis with his back to the large SUV parked too close to the doors.

"What did you just say?

His eyes burns in black as he stares both unbelievingly and furiously at Louis.

"You heard me" Louis scoffs glaring back at the sharp greens, "I know you cozy up with Grimshaw every other night when you run out of Modest approved sluts to bang in hotel rooms"

He says vilely in a harsh, hushed up voice so only Harry and Zayn could hear.

 

Zayn is sure Louis is trying to get punched square on his face… But Harry seems barley listening as his angry stare changes looking at them. Next moment his widened eyes goes passing Louis and then Zayn with a strange mixture of a panic and fear.

Following his gaze Zayn looks back to meet a gun clad Jimmy who was pointing it directly at Harry with deadpanned eyes.

 

Then everything started happening too quickly that taking in a breath would have been impossible.

 

The door of the SUV parked right behind opens with a pair of black gloved hands grabbing Harry forcefully from the back, with a strongly fumed rag slammed to his face. Louis and Zayn watches in horror as Harry goes down like a rag doll, buckling knees to reveal a stone faced Brad behind the steering wheel. Zayn just watches him dumbstruck as their eyes meet...

Then, hands starts pulling Harry's unconscious form in to the SUV as Louis launches himself at the unseen black figure in the van, maybe to get the curly haired boy free. Zayn also tries to follow as he faintly hears a click behind him.

"Don't shoot!!! don't!!" Zayn hears Brad's frantic voice and in the next moment he is being pushed harshly to the vehicle. His right knee hits the solid step, stretching the ankle in an odd angle. _'Crack'_ and he cries in pain as his ankle bones burns in hell.

"No time!! They both saw us.!!!! Can’t bloody leave 'em!!" He hear as he gets momentarily blinded with headlights of a similar SUV several meters behind them.

 _He wants to shout, he tries to yell, scream for help, but his face gets grabbed_ , crushing his lips by a meaty hand with such a force that he almost gagged with his voice dying in the throat. Next thing Zayn knows is hitting his head hard on the dark vehicle floor with a thud with his ankle burning with pain. Zayn hears struggling and a sliding of a door.

As wheels creak loud underneath him, his half conscious head rubs with something solid with soft long threads of hair. Turning his head he meets Harry's unconscious features, a strong foul smell emanates from his almost sleeping form.

"Harry" he tries to mumble as if it could wake his motionless friend.

But then his face is roughly palmed with a foul smelling damp rag, cutting his clean breaths....

 

And he knows no more...

 

 

\- _To be continued / Part II of the Unintentional Series_ :  [Tearing Apart](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2849714/chapters/6389567)

**PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, finally... end of this part.
> 
> Next part of the story is rated R, as I mentioned before. So if you are underage or easily shaken, please be kind enough for yourself to not to read. Because I do mean it. 
> 
> And the thing is, the next part of the story is fully posted. I have some simple editing to do in it but I'm not going to repost it like I did for this one. So you can read it through.  
> It is posted as 'Tearing Apart' I have posted the Link to it in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Love to hear your thoughts. Please vote and comment if you enjoyed at all.


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